action, comedy, horror, movie, movie review, sci-fi

February 17th, 2019 Movie – The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation Of Toxie

the toxic avenger 3

So here is a question I must ask myself. Since I am basically free to pick whatever movie I want to watch for this blog now, why am I still choosing to do today’s movie. I mean, I hated the first sequel in the series so why would I go ahead and watch the next movie, when it is nothing more than the second half of the sequel. Unfortunately, I am somewhat of a completionist and tend to go through with such endeavors to the end. So let’s go ahead and get today’s movie over with as I watch The Toxic Avenger Part III: The Last Temptation Of Toxie.

The plot: In Tromaville, NJ, a group of thugs working for Apocalypse Inc. enter the local video store and proceed to take the people inside hostage. Saying that there is too much variety in the store, the goons proceed to tell the hostages that they will only be allowed to watch the “Top 20” videos, including Apocalypse Inc’s self help videos, and proceed to destroy the other videos, including the Troma movies, and kill one of the hostages. While the goons are trashing the place, the Toxic Avenger arrives at the store and proceeds to kill the goons and as the hostages thank Toxie, he tells them he is back. A few months earlier, Toxie was feeling depressed as he had cleaned up all of the crime in Tromaville but was unable to do anything else. As he returns to his home with his fiance Claire, he receives a flyer for a surgery that could restore Claire’s eyesight but it cost $347,000. Toxie decides to get a job so he Claire can have the surgery but all of his attempts failed, causing him to become even more depressed and insecure. Meanwhile, the Chairman of Apocalypse Inc is still upset that Toxie managed to force them out of Tromaville but comes up with a new way to gain control of Tromaville, then take over the world. He sends a letter to Toxie, offering him a job with enough money to afford Claire’s surgery and Toxie accepts the job, with his blood mixing into his signature on the contract. Toxie happily shows his mom that he has a job and pays for Claire’s surgery. Meanwhile, Apocalypse Inc proceeds to take over Tromaville and after the Chairman speaks to the crowd, Toxie talks to the crowd to try and convince the townsfolk that this was for the best, but notes that the crowd, including his mother, don’t seem happy with what he is doing. Meanwhile, Claire’s surgery is a success and when she finally sees Toxie, she says he is beautiful and falls even more in love with him. However, Claire’s newfound sight allows her to see what has become of Tromaville and how Toxie has become “yuppified”. Claire tries to talk to Toxie and tell him that what he is doing is wrong and he argues that he signed the contract for her and leaves. After seeing some kids tearing down a poster of him and calling him a traitor, Toxie goes to his favorite place to think and realizes that he has been duped by the Chairman. Toxie returns to his trailer and apologizes to Claire, telling her that he will make things right. Back in the present, Toxie works on regaining the people’s trust again and taking the fight to the Chairman. Toxie heads to the church, which the Chairman has converted into his new headquarters, and confronts the Chairman but the Chairman suddenly changes into a green skinned demon and reveals that he is really The Devil. The Devil then challenges Toxie to his favorite game, The 5 Levels of Doom, in order to save Tromaville. The first level, Earth, causes Melvin to sink down into the ground and as hemanages to push his head back above the surface, Malfaire pays a man to run over Toxie with a lawn mower but Toxie catches the blade in his mouth and spits it back at an Apocalypse Inc. goon. The second level, Fire, has The Devil engulfed in flames and he proceeds to set Toxie on fire as well. The citizens of Tromaville help extinguish Toxie but with The Devil still on fire, and no water available, Toxie is forced to urinate on him to put him out. For the third level, Wind, The Devil has a bus full of children drive towards a cliff and perch on the edge. He then summons winds to blow the bus off the cliff but Toxie is able to get the kids out of the back of the bus before it falls, where it lands on Malfaire and kills her. The Devil repairs the bus and for the next level, Water, he drives off, with Toxie clinging to the hood, and crashes into a massive puddle of water in order to drown Toxie but Toxie uses a sumo trick he learned in Japan to save himself. For the final level, The Devil changes Toxie back into Melvin Junko and the Apocalypse Inc employees proceed to bully him. Claire attempts to help Melvin but The Devil causes her to become blind again and everyone takes cover as she begins blindly shooting around. As The Devil proceeds to taunt Melvin some more, Claire makes her way back to the trailer and finds the contract Melvin had signed and proceeds to find an escape clause in it, saying that the contract would be rendered null and void by an Act of God. As The Devil mocks that God isn’t there, a messenger named Angel arrives with a message for Melvin. As Melvin receives the letter, it suddenly starts raining and he is turned back into the Toxic Avenger. Toxie then proceeds to rip The Devil’s skin off, revealing a mass of rats and bugs covering his body. Toxie then decapitates The Devil and tosses the head into the air, where it ends up landing in Japan. In Tokyo, the TV announcer that kept running into Toxie is doing a broadcast about a hair growth product when The Devil’s head lands on his test subject, and the announcer excitedly keeps spraying the man. Back in Tromaville, Toxie and Claire celebrate his victory by getting married.

Yeh, this is just as bad as Part II, which makes perfect sense considering the circumstances regarding the movie. The acting was as bad as the first one, with Phoebe Legere almost seeming worst than she was in Part II, while the narration continued to be absolutely annoying. The story honestly didn’t feel all that original, and that is not just because of their playing up a Biblical aspect in the plot. I meant the whole aspect of the hero selling out to the bad guys for what he feels is a good cause just seemed completely played out so the whole movie just felt boring. The special effects regarding some of the blood and gore did seem a little better in this movie than the previous one, but was still not as good as the original movie. So it is a lot of the same with nothing new added to it, which does not make for a very good movie.

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5

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action, comedy, horror, sci-fi

February 10th, 2019 Movie – The Toxic Avenger Part II

the toxic avenger 2

Back in the day, I could always count on Troma for my dose of B-movie goodness. That being said, as much as I like B-movies I can admit that there are times where the movies are not as good. That is the case with today’s movie. See, I have always enjoyed The Toxic Avenger but when I first watched the sequel, I honestly thought it was cheaper than the original. Granted, that has been several years since I watched it so it is possible that my opinion will have changed. Only way to find out is to go ahead and watch today’s movie, The Toxic Avenger Part II and find out.

The plot: Having killed the corrupt mayor and other criminals in Tromaville, Melvin, The Toxic Avenger, has made the city safe for the citizens. However, with no more evil to destroy, Melvin is at a loss for what to do so he takes a job at a Home for the Blind so he can spend more time with his girlfriend Claire (Sara in The Toxic Avenger), but he still finds himself depressed. One day, the Chairman of Apocalypse Inc. arrives in his limo and sends one of his underlings to deliver a bomb to Melvin while he is inside the Home. When the house explodes, some of the Chairman’s underlings begin putting a property development sign on the lot but Melvin emerges from the rubble and kills them. The Chairman sends out some more thugs to kill Melvin but Melvin easily kills them all, except for one that leaves to go to his piano lessons, and the Chairman drives away in disgust. At Apocalypse Incs corporate headquarters, the Chairman berates his underlings for losing Tromaville and failing to kill the Toxic Avenger, as it disrupts his plans for the company. The Chairman’s assistant Malfaire says that she has come up with a plan to remove Melvin from the equation. Malfaire tells the assembly that the Tromatons created when Melvin fell into the barrel of toxic waste are what causes him to seek out and destroy evil but their scientists in Japan have created an anti-Tromaton formula which will remove his strength. However, since they are unable to transport the formula to them, they will use Melvin’s psychiatrist, who is employed by Apocalypse Inc., to send Melvin to Japan instead. Melvin’s psychiatrist tells him that his problems are due to his father abandoning him and that he should go to Japan, where she says his father now lives, and confront him. Melvin is hesitant to leave Claire and his mother but Claire tells him that he should go so he hops onto a windboard and sails off to Japan, entering the country “Godzilla-style”. Unable to speak Japanese, Melvin had one of the workers at a Japanese restaurant from home write out his father’s name on a napkin so he can show it to people but doesn’t have any luck. One day, his Tromatons act up when a woman named Masami is attacked by a gang and he pursues and kills her attackers. Masami thanks Melvin for saving her and helps him to try and locate his dad but they have no luck. Meanwhile, Apocalypse Inc. has taken advantage of Melvin’s absence by taking over Tromaville and every aspect of the city, even changing the name of the town to Apocalypseville. The citizens tried to fight back against Apocalypse Inc. but they were powerless against the Chairman’s goons. Back in Japan, Melvin and Masami finally locate Melvin’s father, Big Mac Junko, at a fish market but Melvin is shocked to learn that his father is a drug smuggler and white slave trader. Big Mac shows Melvin that he has a bottle of Anti-Tromatons and dares him to come after him, allowing his men to attack Melvin and Masami. Melvin is able to defeat Big Mac’s men and the ends up fighting Big MAc, who dons a sumo outfit to battle his son. When Big Mac pulls out the bottle of anti-Tromatons, Melvin kicks it out of his hands, then throws Big Mac onto a chopping block, where a distracted worker chops him into pieces, but the bottle falls to the ground and breaks open, exposing Melvin to the anti-Tromatons. Masami takes Melvin to a sumo dojo, where Melvin is restored to health and after thanking Masami, he heads back home to Tromaville. When he arrives back in Tromaville, Melvin is shocked to see what has become of Tromaville and quickly races home, where he rescues Claire from being attacked by Malfaire and her “Bad Girls”. Melvin then begins cleaning up the city and removing Apocalypse Inc’s influence so the Chairman decides to simply destroy the city. Carrying 300 lbs of nitroglycerin, the Black Rider rides into town with the intention of crashing into city hall so Melvin gets into a cab and chases after him. Melvin is able to stop the Black Rider’s plan, making him crash into a house and explode. Later, as the people celebrate Melvin saving the city, Big Mac Junko appears and greets his son and wife. When Melvin asks who the guy was in Japan, his father explains that that was Big Mac Bunko, and that he had been mistaken for him for years. With his father back in his life and the city safe, Melvin is able to feel good about himself, while the Chairman and Malfaire are seen trying to hitch a ride away from the city.

The Toxic Avenger Part II was absolutely panned by the critics, holding a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While there isn’t a critical consensus on the site, the critics felt that the movie lacked the energy of the original but did admit that the cheese factor would appeal to fans of that type of movie. The original edit of the movie was over 4 hours long so Troma decided to cut the film into two separate movies. John Altamura, who was hired to play The Toxic Avenger, was fired during production and Rick Fazio, who was asked to serve as a distant shot double, ended up taking over the role. Since John Altamura’s footage was used in the movie, as well as Part III, both men’s names are listed in the credits as paying The Toxic Avenger. The movie was a box office dud, earning $792,966 off of a $2.3 million budget.

Nope, I am going to stand by my original opinion. This movie is definitely a step down from the original movie. The acting was so over the top bad at times that it honestly made the movie less enjoyable for me. Having the voice over of Melvin serving as the narrator didn’t help matters, as it honestly just started irritating the hell out of me. The story honestly felt a little weak, which I admit might be due to the fact that the movie was basically cut in half due to it’s length. One thing that did annoy me was the name changes that occurred between the first movie and the second one. I can kind of understand the reason for changing Melvin’s last name from Ferd to Junko, as it made it easier to utilize the mistaken identity of his father for Big Mac Bunko in Japan. However, I don’t understand why they changed Melvin’s girlfriend’s name from Sara to Claire. I mean, how hard is it to look up what the character’s name was in the first movie and simply continue using it. The special effects were ok but I felt like they did a lot more in the first movie with a lot less money. All told, this is a let down of a sequel and not really worth watching unless you want to watch all of The Toxic Avenger movies.

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5

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action, comedy, horror, movie, movie review

February 3rd, 2019 Movie -The Toxic Avenger

the toxic avenger

A few weeks ago, I started watching this series of movies again and decided, what the heck, why not review them as well. So let’s get right to it as I rewatch my first introduction to the Troma Universe. I remember seeing the video case for this movie at video stores all the time but was never able to convince my parents to rent it for me. When we got cable TV, I remember catching this one night during some late night TV binge watching and thoroughly enjoying it. So lets have a bot of fun with today’s movie, The Toxic Avenger.

The plot: In the small New Jersey town of Tromaville, the toxic waste capital of the world, a young nerd named Melvin Ferd works at the local health club but is mocked by everyone there, especially Bozo, Slug, Wanda, and Julie. One day, the 4 bullies pull a prank on Melvin, with Julie seducing him into wearing a pink tutu and having him meet her in the pool area, where Melvin is tricked into kissing a sheep. As the bullies, as well as the other health club patrons, laugh and taunt him, Melvin runs from them and ends up jumping out a window, landing in a barrel of toxic waste that was in a truck parked outside. A crowd forms as Melvin reacts in pain from the toxic waste and as two police officers try to disperse the crowd, one of them touches Melvin and his hands catch on fire, while Melvin, now on fire himself, runs down the road and out of sight. Melvin makes it home and douses the flames in his bath tub but the toxic waste has caused his body to start mutating into a “hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength.” That night, a drug dealer named Cigar Face and his 2 flunkies attempt to bribe Officer O’Clancy but O’Clancy, one of the few honest cops in the town, refuses. The drug dealers then attack him and prepare to shoot him when Melvin appears and attacks them. Melvin kills Cigar Face’s two flunkies, shoving mops in their faces when he is done, and chases Cigar Face away, then helps O’Clancy to his feet, apologizing for his actions as he does. Later, O’Clancy tells reporters what happened, dubbing the monster a hero, but as the mayor hears of the incident, he is upset as Cigar Face works for him. Melvin attempts to go home but when his mom sees his appearance, she screams and slams the door in his face so Melvin begins making a home for himself in the local junkyard. The next day, three men (Frank, Leroy, and Rico) rob a Mexican restaurant; killing one of the patrons when he tries to stand up to them. Seeing a blind girl named Sara sitting there, Frank has Leroy kill her guide dog, then attempts to rape her when Melvin shows up to stop them. Melvin kills the three robbers then goes to check on Sara, who asks him to help her home, where Sara invites him inside and offers him a sandwich. During a press briefing, a scientist theorizes that the monster is somehow drawn to criminals due to some need to destroy evil. Melvin heads back to the Health Club and kills a drug dealer that works for the mayor, then later attacks Wanda in the sauna, burning her butt on the hot rocks. As Melvin continues to help people and stop criminals, he begins to become beloved by the citizens but the mayor, afraid Melvin will eventually attack him, decides to try and have him killed but his men fail. Meanwhile, Melvin also continues his relationship with Sara, with the two becoming more romantically involved and Sara moving into his home. Melvin returns to the Health Club to get revenge on Julie, chasing her down into the basement and cutting all of her hair off. The next day, Bozo and Slug steal a car so they can go on a hit & run spree but Melvin shows up and attacks them, throwing Slug from the car as it is moving and causes Bozo to drive off a cliff. Some time later, Melvin kills a little old woman and, feeling guilty over the incident, decides to head out to his private spot with Sara so he can avoid killing anyone else. In town, the mayor is happy to hear about the incident, as he feels he can use the attack to ensure Melvin is killed but when the chief of police tells him that the woman was the head of a white trafficking, the mayor covers up the story to ensure the people don’t learn the truth. The chief of police conducts a search for the monster and when his men spot Melvin and Sara in a field, the report back to the mayor, and the mayor calls the governor for assistance, who sends out the National Guard. As the National Guard surround the camp site, several of the citizens, including Melvin’s mom, and people that Melvin saved stand in front of Melvin, begging with the mayor to spare him. The mayor tells the National Guard and police to get the children out of there and fire but the refuse to do so. The Mayor attempts to kill Melvin but when he fails, he begs for his life and offers to cut Melvin in on his criminal business but Melvin kills him. Melvin then rejoins Sara and as the crowd cheer them, they head back to their home in the junkyard, with Melvin continuing to protect the citizens of Tromaville as the Toxic Avenger.

The Toxic Avenger met with mostly positive reviews from the critics, holding a 70% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “A silly and ribald superhero spoof, Toxic Avenger uninhibited humor hits more than it misses.” The monster Melvin turns into was never actually referred to as the Toxic Avenger by any actor in the film besides the narrator. They did not have a name for the character as the film was being made. This is proved further by the kids in the film wearing t-shirts that say “I love the monster hero”. The movie was minimally successful in theaters, earning $800,000 off of a $500,000 budget, but it would gain cult classic status due to late night showings and home video rentals, resulting in 3 sequels and a short lived cartoon series.

This movie is still as ridiculously 80’s as I remember it, and just as fun to watch. The acting was pretty decent, with Mitch Coheen doing a good job as the Toxic Avenger, with Andree Maranda and Pat Ryan doing equally good as Sara and the mayor respectively. The story was pretty much a spoof of some of the more popular comic book super heroes, where someone is accidentally exposed to radiation, in this case toxic waste, and mutates into a super strong being as a result. While making him a crime fighter was obviously the logical process, adding the part about his being drawn to and seeking out evil was a nice twist, almost making him like Ghost Rider in a sense. The special effects were pretty graphic at times, such as the kid’s head being squashed by Bozo when he runs him over, and at other times they are so totally cheesy that they make you laugh, but that blended together for a nice but of fun. An absolute staple of 80’s B-movie goodness that everyone should watch at least once.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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January 27th, 2019 Movie – Trailer Park Shark

trailer park shark

Whenever I see the list of new movies that would be debuting during Syfy’s Sharknado Week, I would always try to figure out how entertaining each one would be. in 2017, today’s movie was one of the ones that debuted and I honestly didn’t think it would be that good of a movie. Boy was I ever surprised to find out my initial call was wrong because this movie turned out to be one of the most entertaining movies in the batch that year. The reason for this being so entertaining was the simple fact that the movie took just about every negative stereotype generally associated with rednecks and trailer parks, then used it to poke fun at itself. This made for a lot of laughs as I watched Trailer Park Shark and had me hoping that this would be one of the movies to make it onto DVD.

The plot: In a Southern U.S. bayou, Rob and his Uncle Jeff are splicing a cable into a nearby windmill in order to take Soggy Meadows, the trailer park where they live, off the grid. As Uncle Jeff dives down to connect the cables and it starts raining, Rob hears an explosion nearby and rides off on his sea-doo to investigate. When he gets to where the explosion had occurred, he sees that the levy has been blown up and Swayze is running away from the scene, which Rob films with his Go-Pro. Realizing that his uncle will be in trouble due to the water surge, Rob heads back to where he left Jeff but when he gets there, he is attacked by a great white shark, which knocks him from his sea-doo. Earlier in the day, Swayze had been hired by Deconnard, the man that owns the trailer park, to blow up the levy and flood the trailer park, making it look like the oncoming storm had broke the levy, as Deconnard wanted to get rid of the tenants that were squatting there so he could redevelop the land. Swayze and his friend drive off to blow up the levy but when they realize that they left the license plate on the van with the bomb in it. Swayze’s partner goes back to remove the plate but ends up getting incinerated in the blast. Back in the present, Rob recovers from being thrown from his sea-doo as the shark manages to swallow his G0-Pro that was mounted on it. Rob finds Jeff and tells him what happened but Jeff is attacked and killed by the shark. As the shark heads towards him, Rob grabs the cable Jeff had splice to try and fend off the shark and as it bites down on it, The electricity flows through the shark, causing it to catch fire and sink beneath the water while Rob makes his way to Jeff’s raft. Back at the now flooded trailer park. Rob’s girlfriend Jolene is stuck inside her trailer and is helped out onto her roof by her neighbor Rufus. Jolene sees the shark swimming towards them and points it out to Rufus, who attempts to ride out on his horse and shoot it, but the shark kills Rufus’ horse and he makes is way back to his trailer, just as another resident, Cleon,  yells out for help before getting on the roof of his trailer. Out in the bayou, Rob encounters Cappy out on her boat and he tells her about the levy being destroyed and she offers him a lift back to the trailer park just as the shark appears and starts circling them. Rob is surprised to see it is alive, telling Cappy he thought he had electrocuted it, but she tells him it might have soaked up the charge like an electric eel. Just then, the shark sends out an shockwave that causes Cappy’s engine to catch fire and she jumps onto Rob’s raft for safety but the shark snatches her out of the raft and kills her. Elsewhere, 3 more residents, Daisy, Barbara Wire, and Wyatt, have been carried away from the trailer park by the flood and are trying to figure out what they should do, with Wyatt worried about his dog Bucky. In town, Swayze is telling Deconnard about being spotted blowing the levy and Deconnard tells him to kill Rob and any other witnesses or survivors that are at the trailer park. Back in the bayou, Daisy, Barbara, and Wyatt spot Bucky floating on his dog house and Wyatt goes to get him when the shark appears. As Wyatt is puling the dog house back to the trailers, the sharks sends out shockwaves, causing Wyatt to flounder in the water while Barbara, who is barefoot on her trailer, also gets shocked, causing her to spasm and dance uncontrollably. The shark kills Wyatt and as Daisy and Barbara react in shock, Daisy then tells Barbara how silly she looked when she was being shocked and the two start laughing, just before the shark leaps up and kills Barbara. Meanwhile, Rob is still trying to make his way to the trailer park when a branch punctures his raft. Using “redneck ingenuity”, Rob uses some duct tape to plug the leak, then makes a makeshift paddle glove for his hand in order to help him paddle the raft. Rob eventually encounters Billie Jean, who is fishing up debris from the roof of her trailer and he manages to coax an oar and a gun from her before continuing on his way. Elsewhere, Swayze and two flunkies head out on sea-doo’s towards the trailer park, with Swayze telling them to make sure to kill anyone they see, except for Jolene, who is his ex. Rob manages to make it to the trailer park and as Jolene kisses him, he tells them about the levy being blown up while elsewhere, the shark attacks Billie Jean’s trailer and kills her. Meanwhile, Swayze and his men encounter Daisy and after asking her if she has seen any of the others, they knock her off of her trailer, then Swayze leaves his men there to ensure she is killed while he heads to the trailer park. At the trailer park, Rob tells the others about how he had video evidence of Swayze blowing up the levy but the shark swallowed his Go-Pro. Rufus tells him that sharks have a slow digestive system so that if they can catch and kill the shark, they would be able to retrieve the camera and then use the evidence against Swayze and Deconnard. Swayze has reached he trailer park and contacts Deconnard, telling him what he had heard, and Deconnard gets on his fanboat and heads to the trailer park. Meanwhile, Swayze’s men are taunting Daisy and trying to lure the shark there to finish her off but the shark ends up killing them instead. Back at the trailer park, Rufus comes up with a plan to capture the shark and he, Rob, and Cleon work on getting the materials but Cleon is killed while getting some ribs to use as bait while Rufus is snagged by the shark and dragged down the waterway before being killed. Rob manages to hook the shark onto a chain when it returns to the trailer park and as it chases after him, he tricks it into leaping out of the water, causing it to get the chain tangled up in a tree and suspending it in the water but gets knocked into the water as the shark struggles in air. Jolene goes to save Rob when Deconnard shows up and moves to kill her but Rob shows up and rescues Jolene, while Deconnard is killed by the shark. As the branch holding the shark starts to break, Rob comes up with a plan and has Jolene lasso the shark’s tail so they can drag it onto dry land and kill it. The begin dragging the shark behind them, making their way towards the windmill, when the shark starts straining against them. The hitch that the rope was tied to comes off and is flung into the air, becoming entangled in the windmill propeller. The windmill then begins pulling the shark out of the water and it is sliced into pieces by the blades. Rob’s Go-Pro falls to the water and he goes to retrieve it when Swayze, who had grabbed Daisy off her trailer, drives by and grabs it. As Rob and Jolene chase after him, Daisy begins struggling with Swayze for control of the sea-doo and the end up crashing into some logs, killing Swayze while Daisy manages to survive. Rob and Jolene pull up to help Daisy, then Rob grabs his Go-Pro, and they head off to rebuild their lives, stopping to grab Bucky off of his doghouse as they do.

I can’t help it. This movie cracks me up every time I watch it because it really is funny in that stupid kind of way. The acting was pretty good throughout the movie, with Thomas Ian Nicholas (Rob), Lulu Jovovich (Jolene), Clint James (Rufus), and David Kallaway (Swayze) doing good jobs in their roles. Dennis Haskins (Deconnard) made for a surprisingly good bad guy, as I am so used to thinking of him as Mr. Belding that it made the meanness of his character that much more effective. Tara Reid also had a good cameo as Billi Jean and I loved how the worked in a few Sharknado references during her scenes. The story was pretty good, with the basic premise of a greedy developer flooding his property to remove the people living there so he could redevelop it making for a great plot in any sort of drama. The added wrinkle in the plan of a shark killing people, and it somehow generating electricity made for an amusing twist, while the “redneck ingenuity” used to try and get out of situations just brings out one bit of laughter after another. I especially liked the various instances that duct tape was metioned/used, as if there is one thing rednecks are known for is using duct tape to fix damn near everything. I also admit that my 5-year old humor was tickled in the play on words regarding Rufus lamenting his horse’s death, as he would constantly say something along the lines of “My big, brown Dukey.” The special effects were a little weak at times in regards to the shark attacks but let’s be honest, that can make these types of movies more endearing. So yes, it can be considered a little off-color but this is a very entertaining movie and one worth watching.

Rating: 4 out of 5

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action, comedy, horror, sci-fi, The Asylum

January 13th, 2019 Movie – The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time

sharknado 6

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and that includes the phenomenon known as Sharknado. Yes, when it was announced that the latest Sharknado movie would be the end of the series, I will admit that I was pretty sad to hear about it. I mean, ever since the first movie took the world by storm (pun somewhat intended), Every summer I would get a week of brand new shark themed movies to go along with the latest installment in the series. It is going to be very hard to let go of something that awesome. Anyways, after the last movie, and learning that the next installment would be the end, I was curious to see exactly how The Asylum was going to close out this franchise. Let’s see how they did with today’s movie, The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time.

The plot: During the Cretaceous period, a velociraptor is curious about a large, shark fin shaped rock but it quickly runs off when the rock explodes as a jeep drives through it. Inside the jeep, Fin Shepard turns to talk to his adult son Gil but notices that Gil has vanished. Suddenly, a hologram recording of Gil appears and tells Fin that due to the energy involved in time travel, a person can only go back in time once or else they vanish. Telling Fin that the time travel device is built into the pilot wings that Gil threw to Fin, Gil explains that Fin has to go through time and stop all of the past sharknado’s from happening if he wants to prevent the world’s destruction. When the recording ends, Fin goes looking for the bag that contains the cyborg head of his wife April only to see a dinosaur grab it in it’s mouth and run off. Fin drives the jeep after it and finds himself in a stampede, slamming on the brakes before he joins the dinosaurs in going over the cliff into the sea below. As Fin looks down the cliff, a megalodon breaches out of the water, causing Fin to step back from the cliff’s edge. A tyrannosaurus appears and Fin manages to avoid it and when it turns to attack him, the megalodon leaps out of the water and grabs the tyrannosaurus, dragging it into the sea. Fin then turns and faces the dinosaur that grabbed the bad and attempts to get it back when a masked figure suddenly leaps down from a nearby cliff, attacking the dinosaur with knives and forcing it to drop the bag and run off. As Fin grabs the bag, he is shocked to see that the masked figure is Nova, and she if joined by Bryan and a non-cyborg April, who rides in on a pteranodon. Fin is shocked as everybody had supposedly died and they explain that Gil had saved them all before they died and brought them there to help Fin stop the first sharknado. A meteor storm occurs just as the first sharknado appears and the group decide to use the meteors to destroy the sharknado but they aren’t powerful enough. Fin jumps onto the back of a megalodon caught in the vortex and as he forces it to swallow some of the meteors, he spots Gil riding on another shark and calls out to him but Gil disappears through time. Fin jumps back onto the pteranodon and Bryan hits a meteor into the megalodon, causing an explosion that destroys the sharknado. When a time vortex appears, they fly through it, thinking that they are returning to the present day but find themselves in the medieval kingdom of Camelot, and that Bryan has suddenly become a woman. The sorceress Morgana shoots down the pteranodon and attempts to take them prisoner but she is called off by Winter, who escorts them all to the castle, saying their arrival has been foretold. Winter introduces them to Merlin, who tells them that Gil had been studying with them for 10 years and Winter goes to fetch him only to see him sail off into an approaching sharknado. When she reports what happened, Fin and April want to try and save him but Nova tells them if they stop Gil from traveling through time to search for his parents, he won’t grow up and pull the others out of time to help Fin stop the sharknados from occurring. When an alert sounds from the bag containing the cyborg April’s head, everyone is curious about what is in the bag and Nova tries to grab it from Fin, only for the bag to open and the head rolls along the floor and lands at April’s feet. Fin explains to April that it was the only thing left of her when the world is destroyed and April tells Fin she forgives him but decides to hold onto the head. Fin and the others go to stop the sharknado but are stopped by Morgana, who tells them she has a potion that will destroy the sharknado but will use it only if Merlin agrees to remove the spell around Excalibur. Merlin agrees and Morgana uses an arrow to send the potion into the sharknado but instead of destroying it, it causes the sharks to start breathing fire. Fin and the others rush to defend the castle and Fin decides to try and use Excalibur, pulling it from the stone and revealing it to be a chainsaw sword. Fin uses Excalibur’s magic to stop the sharknado, with Morgana being killed in the process, and they then seal themselves into a large cauldron and are fired from a catapult so they can go fast enough to travel through time. They arrive in colonial America, with Bryan returning to being a man again, and they begin to wonder if their attempts to stop the sharknados might do more harm than good but when they see a sharknado approaching the colonial fleet, they decide to stop it before America ceases to exist, only to be captured by colonial soldiers. They are taken to General Washington’s camp and after explaining to Benjamin Franklin that they are there to help save the colonies from the sharknado, they are allowed inside to speak to Washington. Fin and Bryan explain their plan and after Washington allows them to proceed, Fin has the army fire their cannons into the sharknado, timing their attack to coincide with the lightning strikes to cause the cannonballs to become electrified. After destroying the sharknado and sending the British fleet retreating, Fin and the others try to figure out a way to get home but Nova, having encountered her ancestor, rushes off to talk to him. Nova hands her ancestor a note to be passed down to her grandfather but Fin takes it from her ancestor, causing an argument between him and Nova on her desire to change her past and save her grandfather. Fin and Nova rejoin April and Bryan so they can leave but Bryan, due to his being a history teacher, decides to stay behind and ensure America is put on the right path. With Franklin’s help, the three head off to the time vortex, where they end up landing in the Old West, where they come between a stand off between Billy the Kid and the town sheriff. Surprised at the arrival of the carriage, Billy is disarmed by the sheriff and runs off and the sheriff arrests Fin for his role in helping Billy escape. As Fin is taken to jail, April and Nova hide in the carriage and are shocked to see Skye appear. In jail, Fin speaks to another prisoner, who was supposed to be rescued by Billy the Kid, and as the prisoner is taken from his cell to be hung, Fin realizes that the prisoner is a grown up Gil. Nova and Skye break Fin out of jail and Fin explains that they screwed up and Gil is about to be killed and Skye goes to rescue him, just as a sharknado approaches. Fin and Skye rescue Gil, who races off into the vortex, while April and Nova use cyborg April’s head to destroy the sharknado. After a standoff with Billy the Kid, who wants to go to the future, Fin, April, Nova, and Skye get onto a train and use it to travel through the time vortex. They end up on the Santa Monica beach in the 1950’s and as a sharknado approaches the beach, they rush to save the people on the beach only to be shocked when they see Fin’s parents, Gilly Shepard and Raye Martin, working to stop the sharknado. After the adult Gil makes it through the vortex and the sharknado is destroyed, Nova sees the prototype capacitor that Gil had left behind and shows it to Fin. They see the date on it is the date of the first sharknado that hit Santa Monica and realize that that is their next destination and borrow Gil’s Cadillac to make the trup but Nova reprograms the capacitor to take them to 1997 San Francisco so she can try to save her grandfather. Fin tries to talk her out of changing her past but Nova refuses to listen to him and heads off. Nova reaches the charter boat that her grandfather owns and heads on board, with Fin and the others getting on board as well. The group head out into the ocean and as Nova watches her grandfather interact with her younger self, Fin again talks to Nova about what she is planning on doing. Nova argues her reasons for saving him, and after noticing the ripped up note she gave her ancestor framed and mounted on a wall, she rushes to warn the captain, inadvertently causing the boat to crash on some rocks. Realizing that she is the reason her grandfather died, Nova starts to freak out but Fin helps Nova’s grandfather and younger self escape on a raft. Nova attacks some sharks to give them time to escape and ends up falling overboard, with the cyborg April’s head falling with her. As a shark attacks Nova, April tries to save her and ends up getting dragged overboard, where both her and Nova are killed. Realizing that the only way to save them is to keep stopping the sharknados, Skye grabs the capacitor while Fin hooks a shark and the are dragged behind it, allowing them to warp to the future but instead of the year 2013, a malfunction causes them to end up in the year 20013. They find themselves attacked by a robotic flying shark and once Fin kills it, they are captured by an army of April clones. The clones take them to their base, where they are confronted by the repaired cyborg April, who reveals that she had perfected time travel and rescued April to use her DNA for cloning her army. As Fin rushes to April, Skye confronts the cyborg April and ends up encased in carbonite, then tells Fin that she brought him there to be her queen. Fin tries to attack the cyborg April, who tries to stop him by showing him robotic versions of his children Matt and Claudia, as well as a robotic Nova, but Fin continues his attack, killing the replicas. Cyborg April attacks Fin but her attack also disables the stasis chamber that April is in, who leaves the chamber and begins attacking her cyborg doppelganger. The cyborg April easily overpowers the original but as she attempts to kill her, her power strikes the capacitor just as Fin grabs it, sending him back to 2013. Fin lands on the boat owned by Captain Santiago, whose crew has just brought cyborg April’s head back to the surface. When Santiago orders his men to throw it overboard, Fin convinces them not to and the cyborg April is happy to see that Fin came back for her. Santiago goes to kill Fin but as the sharks on the edge of the sharknado begin killing his crew, as well as his traitorous business partner, Fin convinces him to work together to destroy the sharknado. Santiago and Fin use Santiago’s weapons to attack the sharks but Santiago is swept up by the storm and killed. Cyborg April’s head says that her lasers are recharged and they have to destroy the sharknado or else time will unravel but before Fin can aim her at the sharknado, Gil appears. Fin is happy to see his son and embraces him and Gil tells him that he can fix everything but he needs the capacitor. Fin moves to hand it to him but when Gil messes up the Shepard family motto, Fin realizes he is an imposter. Gil is revealed to be the future cyborg April, who tries to get the capacitor from Fin so that he can’t destroy the sharknado. Fin and cyborg April’s head are sucked up into the storm, with cyborg April’s head being swallowed by a shark. Fin and future cyborg April struggle for control of the capacitor and when Fin is knocked away by some debris, future cyborg April laughs as time begins unraveling. Suddenly, the shark with cyborg April’s head appears and destroys future cyborg April, then tells Fin they have one shot; activating her self destruct button in her head which will either destroy the sharknado and restore time or wipe out the universe. Fin kisses the cyborg head, activating the self destruct and April’s head explodes, restoring time. In a sharknado free 2013, an explosion is heard off the coast of Santa Monica and the patron’s of Fin’s bar wonder what it could be. As Nova, Matt, and Fin’s brother-in-law Martin Brody stare out the window, a shark suddenly slams against the glass and Nova feels sorry for it, as she loves sharks now. Fin and April, who is pregnant with Gil, are planning to retire to Kansas and are turning over the bar to Martin, who tries to convince Nova to stay but she is going to college thanks to a loan from Fin. Bryan tells everyone to check out the TV, where the see a political add for Skye, who is running for President. As Gemini enters the bar, and Wilford and May Wexler talk with April about the baby, Claudia hands Fin a letter from The Colonel, which contains his flight wings, in case he doesn’t make it back from space in time for Gil’s birth. Fin offers a last round on him to everyone at the bar and giving a heartfelt speech about how much they all mean to him. Just as he finishes, April’s water breaks and the Shepards, as well as Wilford, May, Nova, and George (a regular bar patron of Fin’s), head out the door to go to the hospital, while a TV weather report has Al Roker telling the audience that there is not a cloud in the sky anywhere in the world so people should go out and enjoy it as there won’t be another like it ever again.

So I had a lot of expectations going into this movie and while it did hit several things that I wanted it to, I was honestly a little disappointed and felt like they could have done more. The movie was the same ridiculous fun that all of the others have been, and all the returning characters did great in their roles. Ian Ziering was great finishing off his role as Fin Shepard, while Tara Reid and Cassandra Scerbo were just as good reprising their roles of April and Nova respectively. I actually think April was written a little better in this movie, as she did more than just scream all the time. I liked that they brought Judah Friedlander (Bryan) and Vivica A. Fox (Skye) back and the interaction with the other characters was pretty good. Some of the cameos were pretty funny, such as Neil deGrasse Tyson playing Merlin and Dee Snider playing a sheriff, but most of the cameos felt a little flat, as if they were running out of ideas on how to make the most of them. I will say that I was kind of glad that they used some archive footage from the first movie to have John Heard’s character George show up at the end. The story was ok but the way they brought up time travel into things actually made the story feel rather disjointed. I did think it was funny how they tried to reference Back To The Future a couple of times during the movie, such as the capacitor looking like the flux capacitor as well as Gil telling Fin he has to be going 88 mph to start the time travel. The special effects were ok for the most part, though there were times where they honestly were a little worse than I was expecting, but that makes these movies that much more fun to watch. So it was a good way to end the series but I still think that they could have done a better job with it.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5

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comedy, movie, movie review, romance

November 12th, 2018 Movie – Valentine’s Day (2010)

valentine's day

I am going to be 100% honest right now. I really am not in the right mind set to review this movie. Stan Lee died today and that really hit me as his creations have been a large part of my childhood and adult years. That coupled with long hours at work and dealing with a couple of crazy kids this evening honestly has me mentally exhausted. To top it off, this movie is a rom-com which is not exactly my preferred genre of movies. This movie is the last of the free movies that I received after signing up for my ultraviolet account so let’s get right into Valentine’s Day.

The plot: (too tired to focus on writing while watching so this is the plot outline from wikipedia) The film follows a group of related characters and their struggles with love on Valentine’s Day.

Florist Reed Bennett wakes up and proposes to his girlfriend Morley Clarkson, who accepts. However, Reed’s closest friends, Alfonso Rodriguez and Julia Fitzpatrick, aren’t surprised when Morley suddenly changes her mind and leaves Reed a few hours later. On a flight to Los Angeles, Kate Hazeltine, a captain in the U.S. Army on a one-day leave, befriends Holden Wilson. Kate is travelling a long distance to get back home only for a short time, and Holden states that she must really be in love to do so. When the plane lands and Kate has to wait hours for the taxi, Holden offers his limousine to allow her to be there on time. Julia, an elementary school teacher, has fallen in love with Dr. Harrison Copeland, but does not know that he is married to Pamela. Harrison tells her that he needs to go to San Francisco for a business trip: on his way, he stops by at Reed’s flower shop and orders two flower bouquets – asking for discretion. Wanting to surprise him and despite Reed’s warnings, Julia flies to San Francisco, convinced that Reed was wrong. Julia finds out that he is married and finds him at a local restaurant. Dressed as a waitress, Julia makes a scene at the restaurant, making Pamela suspicious. One of Julia’s students, Edison (Bryce Robinson), orders flowers from Reed, to be sent to his teacher. Julia suggests to Edison to give the flowers to a girl named Rani in his class who has a crush on him after telling Edison the meaning of love. Edison’s babysitter Grace Smart is planning to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Alex Franklin. The planned encounter goes awry when Grace’s mother discovers a naked Alex in Grace’s room, rehearsing a song he wrote for Grace. Edison’s grandparents, Edgar and Estelle Paddington are facing the troubles of a long marriage. Estelle admits to Edgar about an affair she had with one of his business partners long ago. Although she is deeply sorry, Edgar is very upset. Grace’s high school friends, Willy Harrington and Felicia Miller, are experiencing the freshness of new love, and have agreed to wait to have sex. Sean Jackson, a closeted gay professional football player, is contemplating the end of his career with his publicist Kara Monahan and his agent Paula Thomas. Kara is organizing her annual “I Hate Valentine’s Day” party, but soon becomes interested in sports reporter Kelvin Moore, who was ordered to do a Valentine’s Day report by his boss Susan Moralez, and who shares Kara’s hatred of the holiday. Substituting for Paula’s absent secretary is one of the firm’s receptionists, Liz Curran, who dates mail-room clerk Jason Morris. Jason is shocked when Liz turns out to be moonlighting as a phone sex operator. Liz explains that she is only doing this because she has a $100,000 student loan to pay off. Jason is upset, but eventually reconciles with her after seeing Edgar forgive Estelle. Sean finally comes out on national television, and Holden, Sean’s lover, goes back to him. Kate arrives home late at night to greet not her supposed boyfriend but her son Edison. Willy drops Felicia off at home after a date and they kiss. Kelvin and Kara hang out at Kelvin’s news station where they later kiss. Alfonso dines with his wife, and Grace and Alex agree to wait to have sex. Edgar and Estelle reconcile and redo their marriage vows, Harrison’s wife has left him because of his infidelity and Morley tries to call Reed, who is instead starting a new relationship with Julia. Paula receives a call from one of Liz’s masochistic clients and takes delight in expressing her dominance and sadism.

Valentine’s Day met with poor results from the critics, holding an 18% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “Eager to please and stuffed with stars, Valentine’s Day squanders its promise with a frantic, episodic plot and an abundance of rom-com cliches.” Julia Roberts turned down The Blind Side (2009), in order to appear in this movie. Ironically, Sandra Bullock turned down Roberts’ role in this film, and went ahead to star in The Blind Side (2009). Despite the poor reviews, the movie was a success, earning $216.5 million off of a $52 million budget.

I have to admit, as disjointed as this movie was, it wasn’t that bad of a movie. There were too many stars to really single anyone out but they all did good jobs in their roles, even Topher Grace. The different stories were all pretty good but the bouncing around that they did to try and fit all of them into the movie made it hard to focus on them at times and I ended up just zoning out on some of the stories. That being said, there were a couple of parts that really did have me laughing, such as Paula’s (Queen Latifah) reaction when she starts talking to one of Liz’s (Anne Hathaway) clients. However, the whole romance aspects really were about as cliched as you could expect and honestly didn’t really give me much of the loving feels that you would expect form a rom-com. So it is a decent movie and does offer some laughs but there are better movies to watch for a date night type outing.

Rating: 3 out of 5

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action, comedy, horror, movie, movie review, sci-fi

November 11th, 2018 Movie – Tremors 6: A Cold Day In Hell

tremors 6

2018 was kind of a disappointment on the sci-fi front. See, there had been talk of a reboot of the Tremors TV series, with Kevin Bacon returning to star in it. They even made a trailer for the show but then Syfy decided to pass on it. The only bright spot on this bit of sad news is that we did get a new movie in the franchise. As soon as I heard that this movie was being made, I immediately made plans to purchase it as soon as it came out. So let’s see what new horrors are in store for us with today’s movie, Tremors 6: A Cold Day In Hell.

The plot: At the Nanavut Province in northern Canada, 3 scientist (Aussie, Yankee, and Dutch) are taking core samples of some ice when their drill hits something under the ice. As Yankee and Dutch work on the drill, a yellowish fluid starts seeping up, just as Aussie detects a seismic anomaly, as if something living was moving under the ice. Suddenly, a large graboid burst out of the ice and swallows Aussie, while whatever was struck by the drill begins moving, dragging Yankee with it. As the graboid burrow under the snow towards Dutch, he starts running and falls down an embankment, only to have the graboid kill him. Some time later in Perfection, New Mexico, Burt Gummer is approached by Special Agent Dalkwed of the U.S. Treasury Dept. Dalkwed tells him that due to Burt’s not paying taxes, the government is putting a lien on his property. As Dalkwed leaves, Burt’s son Travis shows up with supplies that he had gone to get and he argues with Burt over his not making more of an effort to work with him. Back in the arctic, Dr. Rita Sims, the head of the research team, heads out to the site of the attack with team members Valerie McKee and Aklark and when they see the carnage, Valerie recognizes what has happened. Back in Perfection, Burt is taking a nap on the roof of Chang’s store but is plagued by painful nightmares of the time he was swallowed by a graboid. As he falls out of his hammock, Travis tells him he has a phone call from a woman saying they have a graboid problem. Burt picks up the phone and speaks with Rita but when she tells him where they are located, he says that it can’t be a graboid attack as they are desert/tropical creatures. Valerie gets on the phone and tells Burt she is a graboid enthusiast, impressing him with her knowledge of the creatures, and tells him the site has all the markings of an attack and convinces him it is worth coming out there to investigate as it would be a new phenomenon for him to explore. Burt packs up for his trip and Travis packs to go with him, which Burt objects to his coming but Travis convinces him that he needs to teach him how to hunt and kill graboids for when the time comes that he is unable to do it anymore. The two head out to Canada and as they are flying to the site in a single prop plane piloted by Mac, they are attacked by an ass-blaster, which runs into the prop and forces them to land. On the ground, they are approached by Mr. Cutts, who is in charge of a DARPA facility next to the research station. Cutts confiscates the alcohol that Mac was smuggling into the area and warns Burt to stay out of his way, while Burt warns him that he should take his team and leave the area. As Cutts leaves, Valerie and Aklark show up and Valerie rushes up to hug Burt. Burt chastises her for not telling him about the ass-blasters and when she learns they saw one, she says her parents aren’t going to believe it, then reveals that she is the daughter of Valentine “Val” McKee and Rhonda LeBeck, whom Burt lost track of after they left town following the first Graboid attack. The head out to the Boite Canyon Arctic Research Facility, towing Mac’s plane behind them so she can repair the engine. They are approached by Rita and Dr. Charles Freezze, who is upset to learn that the plane is broken as he wants to leave as quickly as possible. Rita introduces Burt and Travis to the rest of the staff and Burt tries to tell them of the dangers they are now facing. Burt then asks Rita to step aside and asks her about Cutts and the DARPA facility and she tells him it is a joint US/Canada project but they are being secretive about it. Suddenly an ass-blaster appears at the site and kills a security guard while trapping Freezze underneath the communications tower, which it destroys while trying to get to him. Burt heads out to rescue Freezze, handing him an insulated pancho to hide his body heat from the ass-blaster when Burt suddenly has a seizure and collapses to the ground. As the ass-blaster flies towards Burt, Travis and Rita head out and start shooting at it and Burt recovers enough to shoot as well and they eventually kill the ass-blaster, but Burt passes out. When Burt regains consciousness, Valerie tells him he had surgery and the two talk for a bit before she leaves as Travis enters the room. Travis asks Burt how he is doing but Burt angrily asks him where he got the HK that he was using when they are interrupted by Rita, who says she has something Burt needs to see. Meanwhile, the DARPA team is at the Meltwater Hot Springs 8 miles from the camp taking reading of the water when they detect a high level of formic acid in the water. Suddenly, the scientist in the water hears something just before a graboid appears and kills her. Back at the research facility, Burt is told that he has a parasitic organism in his blood that is killing him and when they tell him that it came from a graboid, he figures he was infected when he was swallowed and had to cut his way out of one. Travis suggests that they kill a graboid to get the antibodies but they tell him they need a live graboid, which Burt says is impossible to catch. Suddenly, graboid tendrils snake through the window and grab the doctor, yanking her outside to be swallowed  by the graboid. Burt orders everyone to secure the area and since they can’t get any seismograph readings due to their comm tower being down, he asks for a satellite phone only to discover that Freezze has taken it and fled. Travis radios Mac and Aklark, telling them to stop their work on the plane, just as the graboid moves under the lab and away from the area. Realizing that it is chasing after Freezze, they look outside to see him heading for the nearby truck. Hart rushes off to try and stop him but the graboid knocks the truck over and kills Freezze while Hart climbs up a nearby tower. Burt has everyone else get back inside and they try to come up with options. Swackhammer says they have some dynamite and supplies to rig up a bomb to feed down the graboids throat but Travis comes up with a better idea, using the generator to fashion an underground electrical fence to keep them away from some of the buildings. As Burt splits the group into teams to head out, Cutts and his men show up and Burt taunts him, believing that they were somehow responsible for this. Cutts tells Burt that they aren’t creating bioweapons, but are trying to access the water and figure out a way to transfer it to cities. Suddenly, the graboid breaks through the floor and attacks them, killing one of Cutts’ men. Burt tells the other to head out according to their plan and Burt tells Cutts to get somewhere on high ground and stay there. Travis sticks a makeshift fuse into the gas can on Aklark’s ATV and drives off to create a distraction and as the graboid chases after him, he jumps to safety while it swallows the ATV, only to be blown up. Burt yells for everyone to head to the hangar but when a second Graboid appears, they are forced to take shelter, with Burt and Swackhammer heading to the tower Hart is on while Travis and Rita are on the flipped over truck. Burt has Hart pee on the ground to lure the graboid towards them, then tells everyone to continue towards the hangar but as he makes a run for it, Burt suffers another seizure. Valerie and Vargas spot a third graboid heading towards Burt and he manages to make it onto some rocks before he collapses. Swaghammer manages to make the makeshift electric fence, which stops a graboid from entering the hangar but it instead heads over to the DARPA facility, attacking the building and people in there. While it is gone, Burt recovers enough to make it to the hangar and tells everyone to start prepping the bombs. Travis argues with Burt about their needing to capture one of the graboids in order to save him, then reveals that he had gone to see Heather, which is where he got the HK from. When the core sampler starts up automatically, the graboids approach the tower that Hart is on and Valerie rushes over to shut it off. Burt tells Swackhammer to shut off the fence while everyone else uses powertools to make some noise and lire the graboid towards them, then Swackhammer turns the fence back on, killing it. Valerie manages to shut off the fence as the third graboid takes off and they head towards the base. Inside the hangar, the generator gives out just as Burt has another seizure and collapses into a coma. Travis takes the lead and tells Mac to get the plane ready while they head to medical but before they leave, they hear Cutts calling out for help. Travis tells Rita and Aklark to get Burt to medical and keep him alive while he and Swackhammer head out to rescue Cutts. When they get there, Cutts demands that they get a ladder so he can get down but Travis refuses to do so unless Cutts arranges to remove the lien on Burt as well as ensure that neither Burt nor Travis have to pay federal taxes ever again and Cutts reluctantly agrees to it. Travis and Swackhammer return to the base with Cutts and he goes to see Burt, who tries to get out of bed but Travis argues with him that he needs to stay down and let him handle this as he has a plan. Travis has Swackhammer cut out the ends of a shipping container, fashioning a trap for the graboid. They then set some bait and as the graboid grabs it, Mac is able to use her plane and it’s own momentum to steer it into the container, where everyone pushes some steel bars through the slots to trap it in place. They then open the other end of the container to reveal steel bars are keeping it from closing it’s mouth and they attempt to sever the three proboscis tentacles, with Burt shooting them from the base camp before passing out again. Travis crawls inside the graboid’s mouth and extracts the venom from it’s gland sac and they take it back to medical to fashion the antibodies needed to save Burt’s life. With Burt fully recovered, he and Travis prepare to leave and Cutts shows up with the signed paperwork ensuring that Burt is clear of any tax penalties or owes any taxes ever again. Cutts then comments about the graboid being a good bioweapon but Burt has Hart fly one of his RC planes carrying a bomb into the graboid’s mouth, then detonates it, killing the graboid. Valerie says goodbye to Burt and comments about how she is going to have a great story to tell her parents and he tells her to tell Val and Rhonda he said hi. Travis and Rita, who had become attracted to each other, say goodbye, with Rita telling him she will be back in the states in 6 months. Travis kisses her on the cheek and as he joins back with Burt, Burt chastises him for simply kissing her on the cheek, prompting Travis to go back and fully embrace and kiss Rita, to the cheers of the other staff. As Travis rejoins Burt, Burt tells him it was better and that they should head back to Perfection.

One thing I like about these movies is that even though the basic premise is the same, they manage to add a new twist to make things interesting. This movie was a lot of fun to watch. Michael Gross and Jamie Kennedy did great jobs reprising their roles of Burt and Travis respectively, and I liked that they still had the clash or personalities as Burt still struggled to accept Travis as his son. Tanya van Graan (Rita) and Jamie-Lee Money (Valerie) also did great jobs in their roles and I loved the interactions between them and Travis and Burt respectively. The story was good, with the new location being a nice twist, while also being a not so subtle nod to the climate change debate. Aside from the introduction of Valerie, there were also a couple of other nods to the original movie that were pretty funny if you caught them. The special effects in the movie were good and I liked that they used the new designs from the previous movie for the graboid and ass-blasters, as it felt like the right versions to use, as they were frozen in ice millennia ago and never thawed until the temperature warmed up along the Arctic, allowing them to move about. So a great entry into a fun franchise and hopefully they will continue on with the it, either with more movies or another attempts at a TV show.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5

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