Well, my wonderful ability to not keep my list updated strikes again. Granted, with as many movies as I have, it is somewhat to be expected that a few might slip through the cracks but it is still annoying every time I catch my mistake. Anyways, there is a funny story behind today’s movie. See, several years ago, I was hanging out with some friends, like we do, and somehow we got on the subject of Ninja Cheerleaders, and how George Takei reportedly wishes he had never made the movie. Well, that led to my friend Chad mentioning today’s movie, and how Patrick Stewart had gotten involved in it and regretted it. Chad had mentioned trying to find that movie so he could watch it but was unable and I was pretty much like, “Give me 5 minutes” and sure enough, I found a copy for relatively cheap and went ahead and bought it. The question remains, was it worth buying? Well, let’s find out as I watch today’s movie, Wild Geese II.
The plot: In 1982 London, Robert McCann is arguing on the phone with Michael Lucas about their plans for Rudolph Hess, a Nazi war criminal being held in Spandau Prison. Lucas feels they are moving too fast but McCann is insisting they move forward, as Hess’s old age is a concern and Hess knows enough secrets to bring down dozens of political figures and he wants that information for his news network. Lucas has asked Alex Faulkner, a former British soldier and mercenary, to come in for a meeting, where he and his sister Kathy explain that they want him to break Hess out of Spandau Prison. Faulkner thinks they are joking but when they insist they are serious, Faulkner refuses but says he knows a man named John Haddad might be crazy enough to give it a try. Kathy meets with Haddad and explains what they want him to do and Haddad agrees to the job but is surprised to hear that Kathy will also be heading to East Berlin to serve as his contact/liaison. Haddad heads to West Berlin, where security is told to let him through as the secret police will keep tabs on him, and starts getting information on the prison by posing as a jogger jogging around it. After meeting with Kathy, Haddad poses as a construction worker and makes his way inside the prison grounds to look around, where he sees Hess walking along a secluded path inside the prison grounds. As Haddad is leaving the prison, he is picked up by Karl Stroebling, and East German spy, and his men, who proceed to question him as to why he is in the city. When Haddad refuses to answer, they place a plastic bag over his head and suffocate him to try and get him to talk. When Haddad continues to refuse to answer, Stroebling says they plan on turning Haddid over to some people they have worked with that would like to kill him, Haddad manages to get free from the men holding him and dive out of the car, avoiding being shot by Stroebling’s men in the process. As he recovers in a hospital, Haddad is visited by British Colonel Reed-Henry, who questions Haddad about what happened to him. Reed-Henry shows him pictures of Stroebling and his crew, asking if they were the ones who attacked him, but Haddad claims he doesn’t remember who it was. After checking out of the hospital, Haddad meets up with Kathy, who is concerned about his safety. Haddad says he wants to bring in a friend to help watch his back but when Kathy learns he intends to contact Faulkner, she tells Haddad that Faulkner was their first choice for the assignment but he turned them down, recommending Haddad in his stead. Haddad decides to try anyways and heads to Bavaria to rest for a few days, with Kathy going along saying that it will be easier for them to leave by posing as a couple. While in Bavaria, Haddad and Kathy start getting closer and eventually end up having sex. When Faulkner finishes an assassination contract he is hired to do, he heads to Bavaria to meet with Haddad, interrupting Haddad and Kathy during their lovemaking. The three return to Berlin and shortly afterwards, Haddad is contacted by Reed-Henry, who offers to help him free Hess. When Haddad asks why, Reed-Henry says that Hess’s being kept there allows the Russians to have some of there troops stationed there, and he doesn’t want that. After observing the military convoy that takes Hess to the military hospital for his monthly check-up, Haddad returns to his hotel only to have Faulkner, who is staying across the street, inform him of two men watching Haddad’s hotel. Haddad recognizes them as Stroebling’s men and he works out a plan with Faulkner to ambush them. Heading out to a courtyard, they kill three of Stroebling’s men, then Haddad approaches the 4th, telling him to deliver a message to Stroebling, scarring his cheek to show he is serious. Haddad meets with Reed-Henry and works out a deal to hand Hess over to them after they break him out of prison. Haddad then meets with Stroebling, telling him that he will hand Hess over to him in exchange for free run of Berlin and he lift the price that the Palestinians have placed on his head and Stroebling agrees. Returning to the hotel, Haddad meets with Sgt. Major James Murphy, a former warden of Spandau, who agrees to help train Haddad’s men to act like British MP’s, as well as help them get in the prison and escape with Hess. Haddad then meets with Pierre, a stunt driver, to arrange a traffic accident that will knock Hess’s ambulance on it’s side while it is on it’s way to the hospital. Suddenly, Faulkner warns them to take cover as he deals with two assassins and later, Haddad contacts Stroebling and tells him that their deal is off. Stroebling kidnaps Kathy and asks for Faulkner’s life in exchange but when Haddad refuses, he forces Haddad to take one of his men, Hourigan, as part of his crew. Haddad brings in two Lebanese mercenaries that he worked with, Joseph and Jamil, and Michael comes in as well and Haddad introduces everyone to each other and begins making the plans. Murphy starts training Hourigan, Joseph, and Jamil to act like British MP’s while Haddad and Faulkner discuss Hourigan’s attempting to drug Faulkner and sneaking out. Michael is getting anxious about everything, wanting to go rescue Kathy but Haddad tells him to trust him but Michael starts getting impatient. Haddad speaks with a friend of Pierre’s, who can help arrange transportation out of the city and a fake body to use as a decoy. When Faulkner suffers from a bout of malaria, Hourigan uses the opportunity to slip Faulkner some LSD and then slip out during the confusion but when he returns, Haddad assaults him and warns him not to do anything else or he will kill him. The next day, Murphy finishes training everyone but when Hourigan taunts Murphy, Murphy ends up killing him. Haddad tells Michael not to worry as he comes up with a new plan to rescue Kathy, by offering Michael as a second hostage and having him help in the plan. Michael sets off an explosive in his coat while Faulkner and Haddad attack the guards but Michael is killed struggling with one of the guards. After getting Kathy and sending her and Faulkner out of there, Haddad goes to rendezvous with Jospeh and Jamil while Pierre and his friend ready their plans. When the convoy reaches the assigned spot, Pierre drives out and slams into it, knocking it on it’s side but he is killed when another car in the convoy slams into him. Haddad, Joseph, and Jamil work quickly to switch Hess’s body with the decoy, then drive off. Haddad heads to a junkyard to meet with Stroebling, quickly ducking out of sight and having Joseph make the exchange. When Stroebling appears, Joseph tells him to drive the jeep and put on the uniforms and tells him where Haddad is keeping Hess and Stroebling gives him the address where Michael and Kathy are being kept, not knowing that they have already been rescued. When Stroebling and his men arrive at the place, they are gunned down by Reed-Henry, who had been tricked by Haddad into killing Stroebling. Meanwhile, Haddad and the others meet with Kathy and Faulkner and they act like drunken tourists that are there for a soccer match and they board a bus of other tourists and are able to make it through the border. Meanwhile, Reed-Henry kills Murphy, then heads to his superiors to inform them that Hess has escaped and his superior then kills him. Meanwhile, Haddad and his group make it onto the plane, having quietly killed a customs agent to ensure their escape, and make it to Vienna. Once there, Kathy contacts her boss to tell him that they have Hess but when she goes to speak with Hess, Hess tells her that they broke him out of prison for their own needs, not out of charity or consideration for him, and begs them to take him back to Spandau, as he doesn’t want to be part of modern society and feels more comfortable in his prison cell. Unable to persuade him to stay, Haddad, Kathy, and Faulkner take Hess to the French Embassy, where he heads him inside to turn himself in. Faulkner then heads off while Haddad and Kathy walk away hand in hand. Some time later, a newspaper article says that Hess is being returned to Spandau after being released from the hospital for an asthmatic condition, saying that the rumors of an escape attempt were unfounded.
Slow paced and honestly, a little boring. That is my best description for this movie. The acting was ok I guess but a lot of the characters felt a little too stiff and forced in some of their delivery. The story was actually interesting and did have a decent amount of suspense and intrigue going with it. The only problem is that the slow pace they set didn’t allow for any more excitement, it just felt kind of flat. Even the climax just didn’t really have me feeling any real concern for what was going to happen, which is a bad thing going into the climax. The action scenes, mainly during Kathy’s rescue and the escape attempt, were pretty good but didn’t really help with the rather bland feel for this movie. Not the worst movie I’ve ever seen but definitely one of the most boring.
Rating: 2 out of 5