action, comedy, horror, sci-fi, The Asylum

January 13th, 2019 Movie – The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time

sharknado 6

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and that includes the phenomenon known as Sharknado. Yes, when it was announced that the latest Sharknado movie would be the end of the series, I will admit that I was pretty sad to hear about it. I mean, ever since the first movie took the world by storm (pun somewhat intended), Every summer I would get a week of brand new shark themed movies to go along with the latest installment in the series. It is going to be very hard to let go of something that awesome. Anyways, after the last movie, and learning that the next installment would be the end, I was curious to see exactly how The Asylum was going to close out this franchise. Let’s see how they did with today’s movie, The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time.

The plot: During the Cretaceous period, a velociraptor is curious about a large, shark fin shaped rock but it quickly runs off when the rock explodes as a jeep drives through it. Inside the jeep, Fin Shepard turns to talk to his adult son Gil but notices that Gil has vanished. Suddenly, a hologram recording of Gil appears and tells Fin that due to the energy involved in time travel, a person can only go back in time once or else they vanish. Telling Fin that the time travel device is built into the pilot wings that Gil threw to Fin, Gil explains that Fin has to go through time and stop all of the past sharknado’s from happening if he wants to prevent the world’s destruction. When the recording ends, Fin goes looking for the bag that contains the cyborg head of his wife April only to see a dinosaur grab it in it’s mouth and run off. Fin drives the jeep after it and finds himself in a stampede, slamming on the brakes before he joins the dinosaurs in going over the cliff into the sea below. As Fin looks down the cliff, a megalodon breaches out of the water, causing Fin to step back from the cliff’s edge. A tyrannosaurus appears and Fin manages to avoid it and when it turns to attack him, the megalodon leaps out of the water and grabs the tyrannosaurus, dragging it into the sea. Fin then turns and faces the dinosaur that grabbed the bad and attempts to get it back when a masked figure suddenly leaps down from a nearby cliff, attacking the dinosaur with knives and forcing it to drop the bag and run off. As Fin grabs the bag, he is shocked to see that the masked figure is Nova, and she if joined by Bryan and a non-cyborg April, who rides in on a pteranodon. Fin is shocked as everybody had supposedly died and they explain that Gil had saved them all before they died and brought them there to help Fin stop the first sharknado. A meteor storm occurs just as the first sharknado appears and the group decide to use the meteors to destroy the sharknado but they aren’t powerful enough. Fin jumps onto the back of a megalodon caught in the vortex and as he forces it to swallow some of the meteors, he spots Gil riding on another shark and calls out to him but Gil disappears through time. Fin jumps back onto the pteranodon and Bryan hits a meteor into the megalodon, causing an explosion that destroys the sharknado. When a time vortex appears, they fly through it, thinking that they are returning to the present day but find themselves in the medieval kingdom of Camelot, and that Bryan has suddenly become a woman. The sorceress Morgana shoots down the pteranodon and attempts to take them prisoner but she is called off by Winter, who escorts them all to the castle, saying their arrival has been foretold. Winter introduces them to Merlin, who tells them that Gil had been studying with them for 10 years and Winter goes to fetch him only to see him sail off into an approaching sharknado. When she reports what happened, Fin and April want to try and save him but Nova tells them if they stop Gil from traveling through time to search for his parents, he won’t grow up and pull the others out of time to help Fin stop the sharknados from occurring. When an alert sounds from the bag containing the cyborg April’s head, everyone is curious about what is in the bag and Nova tries to grab it from Fin, only for the bag to open and the head rolls along the floor and lands at April’s feet. Fin explains to April that it was the only thing left of her when the world is destroyed and April tells Fin she forgives him but decides to hold onto the head. Fin and the others go to stop the sharknado but are stopped by Morgana, who tells them she has a potion that will destroy the sharknado but will use it only if Merlin agrees to remove the spell around Excalibur. Merlin agrees and Morgana uses an arrow to send the potion into the sharknado but instead of destroying it, it causes the sharks to start breathing fire. Fin and the others rush to defend the castle and Fin decides to try and use Excalibur, pulling it from the stone and revealing it to be a chainsaw sword. Fin uses Excalibur’s magic to stop the sharknado, with Morgana being killed in the process, and they then seal themselves into a large cauldron and are fired from a catapult so they can go fast enough to travel through time. They arrive in colonial America, with Bryan returning to being a man again, and they begin to wonder if their attempts to stop the sharknados might do more harm than good but when they see a sharknado approaching the colonial fleet, they decide to stop it before America ceases to exist, only to be captured by colonial soldiers. They are taken to General Washington’s camp and after explaining to Benjamin Franklin that they are there to help save the colonies from the sharknado, they are allowed inside to speak to Washington. Fin and Bryan explain their plan and after Washington allows them to proceed, Fin has the army fire their cannons into the sharknado, timing their attack to coincide with the lightning strikes to cause the cannonballs to become electrified. After destroying the sharknado and sending the British fleet retreating, Fin and the others try to figure out a way to get home but Nova, having encountered her ancestor, rushes off to talk to him. Nova hands her ancestor a note to be passed down to her grandfather but Fin takes it from her ancestor, causing an argument between him and Nova on her desire to change her past and save her grandfather. Fin and Nova rejoin April and Bryan so they can leave but Bryan, due to his being a history teacher, decides to stay behind and ensure America is put on the right path. With Franklin’s help, the three head off to the time vortex, where they end up landing in the Old West, where they come between a stand off between Billy the Kid and the town sheriff. Surprised at the arrival of the carriage, Billy is disarmed by the sheriff and runs off and the sheriff arrests Fin for his role in helping Billy escape. As Fin is taken to jail, April and Nova hide in the carriage and are shocked to see Skye appear. In jail, Fin speaks to another prisoner, who was supposed to be rescued by Billy the Kid, and as the prisoner is taken from his cell to be hung, Fin realizes that the prisoner is a grown up Gil. Nova and Skye break Fin out of jail and Fin explains that they screwed up and Gil is about to be killed and Skye goes to rescue him, just as a sharknado approaches. Fin and Skye rescue Gil, who races off into the vortex, while April and Nova use cyborg April’s head to destroy the sharknado. After a standoff with Billy the Kid, who wants to go to the future, Fin, April, Nova, and Skye get onto a train and use it to travel through the time vortex. They end up on the Santa Monica beach in the 1950’s and as a sharknado approaches the beach, they rush to save the people on the beach only to be shocked when they see Fin’s parents, Gilly Shepard and Raye Martin, working to stop the sharknado. After the adult Gil makes it through the vortex and the sharknado is destroyed, Nova sees the prototype capacitor that Gil had left behind and shows it to Fin. They see the date on it is the date of the first sharknado that hit Santa Monica and realize that that is their next destination and borrow Gil’s Cadillac to make the trup but Nova reprograms the capacitor to take them to 1997 San Francisco so she can try to save her grandfather. Fin tries to talk her out of changing her past but Nova refuses to listen to him and heads off. Nova reaches the charter boat that her grandfather owns and heads on board, with Fin and the others getting on board as well. The group head out into the ocean and as Nova watches her grandfather interact with her younger self, Fin again talks to Nova about what she is planning on doing. Nova argues her reasons for saving him, and after noticing the ripped up note she gave her ancestor framed and mounted on a wall, she rushes to warn the captain, inadvertently causing the boat to crash on some rocks. Realizing that she is the reason her grandfather died, Nova starts to freak out but Fin helps Nova’s grandfather and younger self escape on a raft. Nova attacks some sharks to give them time to escape and ends up falling overboard, with the cyborg April’s head falling with her. As a shark attacks Nova, April tries to save her and ends up getting dragged overboard, where both her and Nova are killed. Realizing that the only way to save them is to keep stopping the sharknados, Skye grabs the capacitor while Fin hooks a shark and the are dragged behind it, allowing them to warp to the future but instead of the year 2013, a malfunction causes them to end up in the year 20013. They find themselves attacked by a robotic flying shark and once Fin kills it, they are captured by an army of April clones. The clones take them to their base, where they are confronted by the repaired cyborg April, who reveals that she had perfected time travel and rescued April to use her DNA for cloning her army. As Fin rushes to April, Skye confronts the cyborg April and ends up encased in carbonite, then tells Fin that she brought him there to be her queen. Fin tries to attack the cyborg April, who tries to stop him by showing him robotic versions of his children Matt and Claudia, as well as a robotic Nova, but Fin continues his attack, killing the replicas. Cyborg April attacks Fin but her attack also disables the stasis chamber that April is in, who leaves the chamber and begins attacking her cyborg doppelganger. The cyborg April easily overpowers the original but as she attempts to kill her, her power strikes the capacitor just as Fin grabs it, sending him back to 2013. Fin lands on the boat owned by Captain Santiago, whose crew has just brought cyborg April’s head back to the surface. When Santiago orders his men to throw it overboard, Fin convinces them not to and the cyborg April is happy to see that Fin came back for her. Santiago goes to kill Fin but as the sharks on the edge of the sharknado begin killing his crew, as well as his traitorous business partner, Fin convinces him to work together to destroy the sharknado. Santiago and Fin use Santiago’s weapons to attack the sharks but Santiago is swept up by the storm and killed. Cyborg April’s head says that her lasers are recharged and they have to destroy the sharknado or else time will unravel but before Fin can aim her at the sharknado, Gil appears. Fin is happy to see his son and embraces him and Gil tells him that he can fix everything but he needs the capacitor. Fin moves to hand it to him but when Gil messes up the Shepard family motto, Fin realizes he is an imposter. Gil is revealed to be the future cyborg April, who tries to get the capacitor from Fin so that he can’t destroy the sharknado. Fin and cyborg April’s head are sucked up into the storm, with cyborg April’s head being swallowed by a shark. Fin and future cyborg April struggle for control of the capacitor and when Fin is knocked away by some debris, future cyborg April laughs as time begins unraveling. Suddenly, the shark with cyborg April’s head appears and destroys future cyborg April, then tells Fin they have one shot; activating her self destruct button in her head which will either destroy the sharknado and restore time or wipe out the universe. Fin kisses the cyborg head, activating the self destruct and April’s head explodes, restoring time. In a sharknado free 2013, an explosion is heard off the coast of Santa Monica and the patron’s of Fin’s bar wonder what it could be. As Nova, Matt, and Fin’s brother-in-law Martin Brody stare out the window, a shark suddenly slams against the glass and Nova feels sorry for it, as she loves sharks now. Fin and April, who is pregnant with Gil, are planning to retire to Kansas and are turning over the bar to Martin, who tries to convince Nova to stay but she is going to college thanks to a loan from Fin. Bryan tells everyone to check out the TV, where the see a political add for Skye, who is running for President. As Gemini enters the bar, and Wilford and May Wexler talk with April about the baby, Claudia hands Fin a letter from The Colonel, which contains his flight wings, in case he doesn’t make it back from space in time for Gil’s birth. Fin offers a last round on him to everyone at the bar and giving a heartfelt speech about how much they all mean to him. Just as he finishes, April’s water breaks and the Shepards, as well as Wilford, May, Nova, and George (a regular bar patron of Fin’s), head out the door to go to the hospital, while a TV weather report has Al Roker telling the audience that there is not a cloud in the sky anywhere in the world so people should go out and enjoy it as there won’t be another like it ever again.

So I had a lot of expectations going into this movie and while it did hit several things that I wanted it to, I was honestly a little disappointed and felt like they could have done more. The movie was the same ridiculous fun that all of the others have been, and all the returning characters did great in their roles. Ian Ziering was great finishing off his role as Fin Shepard, while Tara Reid and Cassandra Scerbo were just as good reprising their roles of April and Nova respectively. I actually think April was written a little better in this movie, as she did more than just scream all the time. I liked that they brought Judah Friedlander (Bryan) and Vivica A. Fox (Skye) back and the interaction with the other characters was pretty good. Some of the cameos were pretty funny, such as Neil deGrasse Tyson playing Merlin and Dee Snider playing a sheriff, but most of the cameos felt a little flat, as if they were running out of ideas on how to make the most of them. I will say that I was kind of glad that they used some archive footage from the first movie to have John Heard’s character George show up at the end. The story was ok but the way they brought up time travel into things actually made the story feel rather disjointed. I did think it was funny how they tried to reference Back To The Future a couple of times during the movie, such as the capacitor looking like the flux capacitor as well as Gil telling Fin he has to be going 88 mph to start the time travel. The special effects were ok for the most part, though there were times where they honestly were a little worse than I was expecting, but that makes these movies that much more fun to watch. So it was a good way to end the series but I still think that they could have done a better job with it.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5

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action, comic book, movie, movie review, sci-fi

Flashback Review: April 1st, 2014 Movie – Batman & Robin

batman and robin

If there was to be a case study in how to kill a movie franchise, this movie would probably be on the list. I mean, this could be used as a text book example of what not to do when making a super hero movie. I mean, as successful as Batman Forever was, you would think that they would have tried to keep the momentum going. Unfortunately, the moment  the phrase “Bat-nipples” was first uttered, and all of the ice puns were heard in the trailers, I think everyone was groaning inside about how bad this movie was going to be. And let’s face it folks, when one of the lead actors was going around apologizing for killing the franchise, and actually refunding people’s money who had gone to see it, you know that you have a lousy movie on your hands. So why, you may ask, would I possibly even want to own such a movie? Well, maybe I did something horrible in a past life and this is my atonement by forever owning this movie. That, or I am a mildly OCD completionist when it comes to movies and just had to get it to round out the series. Either way, I have put off reviewing this movie long enough (yes, this is one of the reasons why I stopped doing the flashback reviews a few years ago because I really didn’t want to watch this movie at the time), so let’s get this over with and watch Batman & Robin.

The plot: Batman and Robin gear up for the nightly patrol and after saying goodbye to Alfred, they head off, not noticing his pained expression. Commissioner Gordon contacts Batman to alert him to a new villain, Mr. Freeze, who is robbing the museum so they head over there. At the museum, Freeze is using his ice gun to freeze the cops as he and his henchmen work on stealing a large diamond being held there. Batman and Robin show up to stop them and manage to get the diamond away from Freeze but when Freeze’s henchmen attack them, Freeze is able to reclaim the diamond. As he gets into his vehicle, which suddenly opens up to reveal a hidden rocket, Batman manages to jump inside to confront him, while Robin manages to cling to the outside as it blasts off. Freeze traps Batman with his cold gun, then bails out of the rocket, planning on sending him up into space to freeze to death. Robin enters the rocket and frees Batman, who places a bomb on the rocket so it explodes harmlessly in the upper atmosphere, then they bail out and follow after Freeze. Batman manages to grab onto Freeze, knocking the diamond out of his hand for Robin to grab, but Freeze is able to use his ice gun to slow his fall. As Batman and Robin chase after him, Freeze uses the ice gun on Robin to freeze him solid, then grabs the diamond and taunts Batman on how he can either chase him or save Robin, before quickly making his escape. Meanwhile, in a Wayne Enterprise lab in Brazil, Dr. Pamela Isley is working on a project to try and make plants capable of defending themselves from attack but comments on how she would be more successful if her boss, Dr. Jason Woodrue, would stop stealing her Venom samples for his “Gilgamesh” project. Sneaking into Woodrue’s private lab, she sees him talking to someone on the phone and watches as he transforms convicted serial killer Antonio Diego into a hulking monster which he calls Bane. When Woodrue discovers Isley in his lab, he attempts to explain things to her but when she says she plans on reporting him to the authorities, he attempts to kill her by knocking a table full of toxins on top of her, and the toxic mixture melts away at the ground and ends up causing her to be buried. Back at the Batcave, Batman shows Robin footage of Victor Fries, before the accident that changed him into Mr. Freeze. Batman explains that Fries wife contracted MacGregor’s Syndrome and he had been attempting to cryo-freeze her so he could find a cure before the accident occurred. Robin asks if they are going to set a trap for Freeze but Batman tells him he needs to train some more, causing the two to start arguing. Later, Bruce and Alfred are talking about Robin’s recklessness and Alfred comments he was the same way and says he should be more understanding. Back in Brazil, Isley emerges from the ground, having been reborn as Poison Ivy, and after using her toxins to kill Woodrue, she decides to take Bane with her and pay a visit to Gotham. In Mr. Freeze’s hideout, Freeze uses some small diamonds to refuel his suit, while placing the large diamond he stole in his “Freeze Engine”. He tells his henchman Frosty that they need one more large diamond for the engine, and then he will freeze Gotham and hold it for ransom in order to get the money needed to continue his research and find a cure for his wife. The next day, Bruce, Dick, and Alfred are surprised to find Alfred’s niece, Barbara Wilson, at the door, having decided to come visit while on a break from her academy, and Bruce invites her to stay at the house. They show her around the mansion and later that night, Barbara talks with Alfred, who is trying to find his brother to serve as Bruce’s new butler, but after saying goodnight to Alfred, Barbara sneaks out of the house and steals a motorcycle from the garage. The next day, Bruce, accompanied by his girlfriend Julie Madison, is donating a new telescope to the Gotham Observatory when he is approached by Pamela Isley, who offers him a plan to help repair the damage his company has done to the environment but he refuses as her plan would result in millions of people’s deaths. Later that night, Batman and Robin attend a charity auction at the botanical garden when Poison Ivy shows up and uses her pheromones to entrance Batman and Robin, as well as everyone else in the building. Grabbing the diamond, Poison Ivy starts a bidding war among the guests, with Batman and Robin even getting in on it, when Freeze and his men suddenly shows up for the diamond. As Batman and Robin begin fighting with Freeze’s henchmen, Freeze approaches the stage and Ivy tries using her pheromones on him but Freeze’s cold blood makes him immune to their effects and so she lets him have the diamond. Freeze and his henchmen leave and Batman and Robin follow after them but when Freeze and his men attempt to jump to a nearby rooftop in their vehicles, Batman tells Robin to pull back, then shuts down his engine remotely when he refuses. As the Batmobile makes the jump, Freeze uses his vehicle’s freeze gun to freeze it but Batman is able to bail out, then crashes into Freezes vehicle and capture him. Returning to the Batcave, Batman and Robin continue arguing, with Robin feeling like Batman is too controlling and doesn’t trust him. Later, Bruce goes to talk with Alfred and asks him if Dick is right and Alfred admits that he is, as Bruce’s tragic childhood has made it difficult for him to trust other people, Alfred being one of the few exceptions. Meanwhile, Dick catches Barbara sneaking the motorcycle back into the garage and when he questions her about it, she is evasive as to what she was doing. Freeze is taken to Arkham Asylum and placed in a special cell with a freeze light in it, confining him to the area around his bed in the room. Elsewhere, Ivy and Bane head to an abandoned Turkish bathhouse and, after kicking out the gang that was living there, she begins making her own alterations while preparing to bust Freeze out of Arkham. That night, Bruce is having dinner with Julie, who talks to him about marriage but Bruce is still thinking about Ivy, accidentally calling Julie Ivy when she kisses him. Meanwhile, Dick is also obsessing about finding out who Ivy is when he spots Barbara stealing a motorcycle again and he decides to follow her. He finds her competing in an underground bike race and joins in the race to follow her, helping save her when a gang decides to try and kill her. As they return to Wayne manor, Dick and Barbara talk about her racing and she reveals she had been kicked out of school for it but she doesn’t care as she has all the money she needs. She tells Dick she plans on taking Alfred away from there, feeling he is being taken advantage of. When Dick tells her he is family and happy there, she reveals that Alfred is sick. As she heads upstairs, Bruce, who was in the other room, tells Dick that Alfred isn’t sick, but dying and had chosen not to tell anyone about it. At Arkham, Ivy and Bane go to break Freeze out of his cell but his suit is out of power so he says he must return to his hideout to get the diamonds to power it, and asks Ivy to get his wife, who he has hidden in a secret part of his lair. After hearing that Freeze escaped, Batman and Robin join the police at Freeze’s hideout, where they see that Ivy and Bane had broken him out of prison. As they discuss what happened to them and why they were fighting over her, they discover Freeze’s hidden chamber and find Nora Fries body still in suspended animation, Freeze and Ivy see this and Ivy tells him she will deal with Batman and Robin and get Nora while he gets his diamonds for his suit and meet back at her hideout. As they examine Nora’s body, they discover that Freeze had managed to find a cure and treatment for the early stages of MacGregor’s Syndrome but not the latter stages. Suddenly, the smell Ivy’s pheromones and head down into the sewer to confront her but she has Bane attack them. Meanwhile, Freeze lowers the temperature in the hideout, disabling the police and allowing him to grab his diamonds as well as his freeze engine, then makes his escape. Back in the sewers, Bane knocks Batman and Robin around and as they are stunned, Ivy approaches them and uses her pheromones to distract them some more and attempt to kiss them. Batman is able to resist them but Robin finds himself more susceptible and as they argue, Batman is forced to dump Robin into the sludge. Ivy uses the distraction to head up to the room and instead of rescuing Nora, she disables the machine, then grabs her necklace to show as proof that Nora died. When she returns to her hideout, Freeze asks where Nora is and Ivy tells him that Batman and Robin disabled the machine, handing him the necklace as proof she is dead. Freeze wants revenge and plans on freezing Gotham and Ivy wants to help, saying after he freezes mankind, her mutant plants will take over and they will be the only two people left. Back at Wayne Manor, Barbara is checking in on Alfred, who hands her a disc he made for his brother and ask that she find him but she decides to look at the disc herself and learns about Bruce and Dick’s secret identity. Meanwhile, Bruce and Dick are still arguing over Ivy as Bruce leaves for a fundraiser, saying he will go after them alone as Dick isn’t thinking straight. At the fundraiser, Ivy, dressed as Pamela Isley, uses her pheromones on Gordon to learn where the Bat Signal is but Bruce smells the pheromones and realizes who she really is. Bane destroys the Bat signal and Ivy has a new one created just for Robin, luring him to her hideout. At the Batcave, Robin is getting ready to head out to meet Ivy when Batman stops him and says she is trying to kill him, asking Robin to trust him on this. After they leave, Barbara finds her way into the cave, and a computer image of Alfred shows up on the computer. Alfred says he knew she would find her way down there and had created a suit for her in case she wanted to help. Freeze and Bane head to Gotham Observatory, where Freeze plans on using the new telescope to freeze Gotham. Meanwhile, Robin shows up at the Turkish Bath and approaches Ivy, who asks him to kiss her. Robin asks her to tell him Freezes plan first and she does so, thinking it won’t matter since he will soon be dead, but Robin had heeded Batman’s warning and coated his lips with Rubber to prevent her toxin from infecting him. Ivy shoves him into the pool, where the vines start dragging him underwater and when Batman shows up, she has her vines trap him as well. Suddenly, Barbara, calling herself Batgirl, burst through the skylight and begins fighting Ivy, managing to trap her in her own plant. Batman and Robin manage to free themselves and when they ask Batgirl who she is, she reveals that she is Barbara and had found the Batcave. The three head to the observatory but are too late as Freeze has already begun to freeze the city. Realizing they don’t have much time to thaw the city, Batman, Robin, and Batgirl reach the observatory and realize they can use the telescope and linked satellite system to reflect sunlight onto the city and thaw it. While Batman reprograms the satellites, Robin and Batgirl head out to thaw the targeting mirrors but Freeze shows up and begins attacking Batman, moving the telescope which knocks Robin and Batgirl off of it. Robin attempts to save them but when his grapple fails, Batgirl ends up saving them. As they recover, Bane attacks them but Robin tells Batgirl to pull the tubes from his mask and when they do so, Bane reacts in pain and loses his strength before reverting back to Diego. Meanwhile, Batman and Freeze continue fighting and BAtman eventually gets the upper hand by placing a mini heater in Freezes suit and knocking him off the platform. Batman then starts using the telescope to start thawing the city but Freeze activates some bombs he had Bane place around the facility earlier, destroying the telescope. As Batman rescues the scientists that were falling with the telescope, He, Robin, and Batgirl head back to the observatory to try and figure out how to thaw the rest of the city. Batgirl and Robin use the satellites themselves to reflect the sun onto the city and continue thawing it, saving the city and everyone in it. Batman approaches Freeze, who is incapacitated due to his damaged suit, and Freeze tells him to go ahead and kill him like he killed his wife. Batman tells him that he didn’t kill Nora, showing him the video of Ivy bragging about killing her, and Freeze cries out in anger. Batman then tells him that Nora is still alive, as they restored the machine, then asks Freeze to help him save the life of someone suffering from early stages of MacGregor’s Syndrome. Freeze gives him the cure and Batman tells him he will have Nora’s body transferred to Arkham so that Freeze can continue his research. Batman, Robin, and Batgirl return to Wayne Manor, where Bruce begins administering the cure to Alfred. Meanwhile, Ivy is sitting in her cell in Arkham when Freeze shows up, revealing that he is her new cell mate, and as he approaches her, Ivy begins shaking in fear. The next morning, Alfred is shown to have made a full recovery and as they rejoice in the good news, Bruce decides what to do with Barbara and relents when she asks to be his partner and part of the family.

Batman & Robin was completely panned by the critics, holding a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “Joel Schumacher’s tongue-in-cheek attitude hits an unbearable limit in Batman & Robin resulting in a frantic and mindless movie that’s too jokey to care much for.” Most of the scenes with Batgirl were cut as Alicia Silverstone had gained a few punds during production and the batgirl suit had to be refit. When the press found out, the criticized her for the weight gain but director Joel Schumacher defended her and attacked the press for their cruelty. The movie was a modest success at the box office, earning $238.2 million off of a $125 million budget but it effectively killed off any planned sequel or follow up movie until the franchise was rebooted in 2005 with Batman Begins.

It is too early in the day for me to have a drink and I really want to drink to the point I forget watching this movie. This movie is terrible on so many levels that it is almost painful. The acting was ok, and I say that in all seriousness because the actors were doing the best they could with an absolutely craptacular script. 27 ICE PUNS!!!! That is 28 ice puns too many, because you know there was another one that was written but didn’t make the cut. And let’s not forget the plant puns that were involved with Poison Ivy. As I mentioned earlier, the story was absolute crap and spent more time trying to come up with clever jokes then actually coming up with a decent story. The side plot about Alfred being sick was the best part of the story and they could have made a better movie if they had focused on that. One thing that was unforgivable was what they did to Bane, as he was one of the most interesting and methodical villains to be introduced to face Batman in recent years and they made him a total joke of a character in this movie. The set design was so cartoonish in it’s appearance that it was hard to take anything serious. As for the special effects, while they were decent, they didn’t help matters when it came to the total campiness of this movie. If you come across this movie, do yourself a favor and keep on going.

Rating: 1 out of 5

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comedy, horror, movie, movie review, sci-fi

August 16th, 2017 Movie – Sharknado 2: The Second One

sharknado 2

When word of mouth causes a made for TV movie to get more viewers each time it aired, the idea for a sequel made perfect sense. After the success of Sharknado, I could hardly wait for it to occur. Then they announced the title and tag line for the movie, and it honestly felt like they were going to do a good job of keeping the advertising simple and letting word of mouth generate the buzz, which worked because I knew a lot of people were going to be tuning in to watch it. As for me, I did what has since become a tradition and went to my friend Emily and Mark’s house to watch this movie when it debuted and I was not disappointed in the least and quickly went online and pre-ordered it as soon as it became available to do so. So let’s get down to business with today’s movie, Sharknado 2: The Second One.

The plot: Fin Shepard and April Wexler, who are attempting to work things out after the events of the previous movie, are flying to New York for a book signing of April’s book that she wrote about the sharknado. As the plane starts to hit some rough weather, Fin sees some sharks flying through the sky and thinks he is seeing things at first. After a shark takes out one of the engines, the pilots start descending to a lower altitude only to have more sharks attack the plane. Several passengers are killed as sharks make it inside the plane and both of the pilots are sucked out of the cockpit when a shark breaks through and attacks one of them. Fin heads to the cockpit to try and land the plane and April follows after him but when the plane door is blown off it’s hinges, she is forced to grab onto to a nearby strap to keep from being blown out of the plane. The sky marshal goes to help her but ends up trapped by a food cart and, seeing a shark approaching April, throws her his gun to defend herself but the shark bites off her hand. The sky marshal is eventually able to pull April back in the plane while Fin manages to land the plane in New York. Downtown, Fin’s sister Ellen Brody and her husband Martin are there with their kids and arrange to meet at April and Fin’s hotel that night before they split up; with Ellen going to Liberty Island with their daughter Mora while Martin is going to a Mets game with their son Vaughn. Meanwhile, Fin is interviewed after the plane lands and he tries to warn the city about the coming storm but the police don’t seem to believe him. After accompanying April to the hospital, Fin is told by her doctor that she is stable and should make a full recovery. Fin heads to her room and they talk for a while before seeing a news report about the storm approaching New York. At Liberty Island, Ellen and Mora meet up with Ellen’s friends Polly and Chrissie, who ask Ellen about Fin and tell her about the plane crash. Ellen calls Fin and he tells her that she has to get off the island and when Mora can’t reach Martin, Ellen asks Fin to go get him and Vaughn, saying she had sent April a ticket for him. Fin agrees to go and kisses April before he leaves and hails a cab, where the driver, Ben, recognizes Fin and asks him some questions about being swallowed by a shark. Back at Liberty Island, Ellen, Mora, Polly, and Chrissie notice hundreds of sharks swimming in the waters around the island and when the ferry gets there, they quickly board it. Fin arrives at the ball park, with Ben giving him his card in case he needs another ride, and he heads up to find Martin and Vaughn when he runs into Skye, his old girlfriend who was at the game with Martin, Vaughn, and their friend Brian. Skye kisses Fin but he pulls back and tells her he is back with April and she apologizes. Fin heads to their seats and tells Martin and the others that they need to leave before the storm hits but Brian refuses to leave, believing that this is a simple rain delay. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker that the game is cancelled, the crowd boos in disappointment but when a sharknado appears heading towards the stadium, they all quickly flee the stadium and head to the subway station. AS the train leaves the station, two subway workers are heading into the sewer tunnels to shut off the valves so the tunnels don’t flood but one is killed by an alligator and the second is killed when the tunnel floods, with a shark killing the alligator. The flood hits the subway and sharks begin attacking the cars, with one killing Brian, but Vaughn hits the emergency brake and they are able to get everyone off the train before the flood waters push it down the tunnel. Heading back to the surface, they manage to get a ride from Ben, and Fin asks him to take him to a hardware store but the one Ben knew was closed so he takes them to Times Square, where they split up to find weapons and supplies for Fin to make bombs. Meanwhile, Chrissie is killed by a shark on the ferry and as Ellen, Mora, and Polly disembark and start heading to the hotel to meet the others, they are forced to run as the head of the Statue of Liberty is broken off by the storm and comes rolling down after them. After managing to avoid the rolling head, they keep making their way to the hotel, eventually grabbing some bikes so they can move faster. Back at the hospital, the patients are being evacuated to the basement as a sharknado heads towards them but April, after helping a scared girl to the basement, leaves the hospital to go find Fin and the others. Back at Times Square, the group meet back at Ben’s cab and head for the hotel but before they get there, the streets end up flooded. Using Ben’s tow rope, they throw it over a traffic light so they can use it to swing across to the hotel. Martin, Vaughn, and Sky make it safely across but Ben is killed as he tries to swing across, dragging the rope into the water with him. Martin says he will try to find some more rope but Fin says there is no time, and proceeds to jump on the sharks’ backs to make it across (prompting Martin to joke about him jumping the shark). Heading inside the hotel, Fin tells Martin and Vaughn to wait in the lobby for Ellen and the others while he and Skye head up to the roof and try to destroy the sharknadoes. Ellen and Mora reach the hotel but Polly, who had lagged behind them, is killed when a whale shark falls on her. Fin and Skye reach the roof and use a slingshot to try and destroy the sharknadoes before they merge but the sharknadoes are too cold. He decides to make a bigger bomb but all that does is cause the sharks to catch fire and he and Skye are forced to leave the roof and head back downstairs. Meanwhile, the lobby becomes flooded and Martin, Ellen, Vaughn, and Mora head up the stairs to escape the rising water. They meet Fin and Skye partway up and are forced to use the fire escape to get away from the danger on both fronts. They leave the hotel, where they are surprised to see April in a fire truck there to pick them up. The group heads to the empire state building, where the Mayor and Fire Chief have a command center made ready and hand him a chainsaw to use. Seeing that the merged sharknado is about to converge with a third sharknado, Fin decides to blow the Freon tanks atop the Empire State building to try and freeze out the sharknados and Skye goes with him to help. When they reach the observation deck, Skye goes to make the connection as Fin prepares to use the lightning to trigger the explosion. As a shark starts to fall towards him, Fin can’t get the chainsaw started but he is saved by April, who had Vaughn make her a make-shift handsaw gauntlet for her injured arm. When Skye is finished, Fin tells her to get April out of there while he triggers the explosion but the cable becomes disconnected and Skye is forced to hold the cable in place. The explosion occurs and Fin and Skye are thrown into the air, with Skye being killed by sharks, but the massive Sharknado is broken up, with the crowd below grabbing any weapons they can find to deal with the falling sharks. Fin uses his chainsaw to kill some of the sharks near him as he falls but when it is knocked from his hand, he grabs a chain and usesit to snare aThe popularity  shark and ride it down to the observation deck. As more sharks fall towards him and April, he looks for a weapon and notices the dead shark by April is the same one that bit off her hand. Reaching inside it’s mouth, he grabs her severed hand and uses the gun it is still holding to kill the falling sharks. Afterwards, he takes the ring off the severed hand and asks April to marry him again, which she happily accepts as the crowd below celebrates their victory.

Sharknado 2: The Second One met with mixed to positive review from the critics, holding a 61% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “The schlock factor for Sharknado 2: The Second One is not as entertaining as its predecessor’s, though fans of the brand will likely enjoy it.” There were numerous nods to other movies throughout the film, primarily Jaws, Airplane, and Star Wars, while the original film’s popularity allowed The Asylum to use numerous people in cameo appearances as well. In it’s initial airing, it garnered 3.9 million viewers and prompted Syfy and The Asylum to almost immediately make plans for another sequel.

All the craziness from the first movie was amped up in the sequel and it paid off in a fun way. The acting was great, with Ian Ziering doing a great job as Fin, while Mark McGrath (Martin), Vivica A. Fox (Skye), and Kari Wuhrer (Ellen) doing good jobs in their roles as well. Tara Reid (April) didn’t seem as bad in this one as she was in the first movie but I have to admit that her screaming was just awful. The story was great, basically using the same concept from the first movie but doing a good job of trying to show how the tornadoes were forming with the different weather and pressure systems converging on New York City, while doing nothing to explain all the sharks (because where would the fun be in that). I also liked all the nods to the various movies that were used, as well as the cameos, but some of the funniest cameos were the ones that hinted at the actor’s previous roles; such as Robert Hays being the pilot (a nod to Airplane) and Judd Hirsch driving a cab (a nod to his character in Taxi). Even the short bit with Jared Fogle sitting underneath a sign for Subway while eating a Subway sandwich was pretty funny. The special effects were a little better than the original movie in regards to the sharknadoes, though I didn’t honestly see much improvement in the sharks themselves. Still, this movie was a lot of laughs and definitely something worth watching.

Rating: 4 1/2 out of 5

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