adventure, comedy, movie, movie review, video game

December 6th, 2017 Movie – Super Mario Bros.

super mario bros

Believe it or not, today’s movie could be considered a momentous event, albeit one of a dubious nature. See, today’s movie is honestly the first movie based on a video game, which means it is the founding father of all the awful renditions we have endured for the past 24 years. Now I know some of you might be thinking, “What about Tron?” Well to be fair, that was a game based on a movie but I will delve more onto that subject next year when I review that movie. Anyways, if it wasn’t for Super Mario Bros., we wouldn’t have had such “wonderful” movies like Double Dragon, Street Fighter, or Doom to grace the big screen so let’s all give the appropriate thanks for that.

The plot: 65 million years ago, a meteorite struck the Earth, causing a parallel universe to be created; one where dinosaurs evolved into humanoid creatures. In the present day, a woman drops off a mysterious container at a church before heading back down into the sewers. As she makes her way through the tunnels, she encounters King Koopa, who asks her where the rock is but the woman causes a cave-in, killing herself while trapping Koopa on the other side. Years later, Mario Mario and his brother Luigi Mario, two struggling Brooklyn plumbers, are heading out to a job but are beat out by the plumbing company owned by Anthony Scapelli. Meanwhile, a Scapelli construction company is being held up from working on their project by a court order, granting a university access to the site when dinosaur bones were discovered there. Scapelli visits the site and speaks with Daisy, the student in charge of the dig, and makes veiled threats that she better be finished by the end of the day, commenting on the rash of disappearing girls and saying she could be next. Daisy goes looking for a phone so she can call the university to get more security for the site, unaware that she is being followed by two men, Iggy and Spike. Daisy finds Luigi on a pay phone, who is love struck by Daisy and hands her the phone and a quarter to use. After her call, she thanks Luigi, who offers her a ride and she accepts and they drive her back to the dig site, with Luigi inviting her to dinner after they get there. Daisy accepts and goes to dinner with Luigi, Mario, and Mario’s girlfriend Daniella, where Daisy and Luigi grow closer after learning that Daisy is an orphan and Luigi’s parents died so he was raised by Mario. After dinner, Mario takes Daniella home but when he leaves, Iggy and Spike kidnap her, thinking she is Daisy. Meanwhile, Daisy invites Luigi to the dig site to see the fossils they uncovered when they see two of Scapelli’s men breaking a water main to sabotage the dig site. Luigi heads home to get Mario and the two work on fixing the pipe but once they are done, Iggy and Spike knock them out and grab Daisy. When they come too, Luigi and Mario go looking for Daisy and see her being dragged into a wall of rock. Luigi manages to grab her necklace and follows after her, with Mario accidentally following after him. The two end up in the parallel dimension and see Daisy getting carried away but are unable to follow her. Meanwhile, King Koopa learns that Iggy and Spike captured Daisy but when he hears that the Marios have the necklace, he issues a reward for their capture. Mario and Luigi are about to get mugged but are saved by a woman named Bertha, who takes the necklace and uses a pair of stompers to jump to the other side of the road and walks away. As the dejected brothers try to figure out their next move, a street musician named Toad tries to cheer them up but he ends up being arrested and when the cop notices that Mario and Luigi are plumbers, they end up being arrested as well. The Marios are taken to the police station and Koopa, pretending to be their lawyer, asks them about the rock and when they refuse to tell him about it, Koopa decides to have them devolved. He takes them to a the devolution chamber, where they witness Toad being devolved into a goomba but when it is their turn, Mario and Luigi manage to attack their guards and trap Koopa in the chair, where he is temporarily subjected to the devolution process. As Mario and Luigi make their way out of the police station, Luigi notices the fungus appears to be trying to give him something but Mario pulls him away before he can grab it. The two steal a police car and make their way out of the city through the tunnels but when they exit the tunnel, they almost crash off a cliff but are saved by the fungus that had ensnared the car. Back at Koopa’s tower, Daisy is in the holding cell with Daniella and the other kidnapped girls when Lena, Koopa’s assistant, takes her and explains that Daisy came from their world and her father was the king before Koopa devolved him and took over. Koopa takes Iggy and Spike to the devolution chamber and has them evolved to make them smarter, then sends them out to find Mario and Luigi. Iggy and Spike locate Mario and Luigi but the Marios capture them and ask them about Daisy and the rock. Iggy and Spike explain that the rock was a portion of the meteorite that separated the two worlds and once it is joined with the meteorite, the two worlds will merge. Mario and Luigi explain that the rock was stolen and Iggy and Spike says they know where Bertha can be found. The 4 manage to sneak back into Koopa City and head to the club, where Mario is able to get the rock from Bertha. Lena and some goombas arrive at the club to arrest them and Lena manages to get the rock but the Marios escape with Bertha’s help. As they make their way through the city, Luigi spots another object in the fungus and grabs it this time. The two head into Koopa tower, where they turn off the heat to the building in order to freeze up the goombas. Meanwhile, Daisy befriends Yoshi, the royal pet dinosaur, and the goombafied Toad when Lena, upset that Koopa is casting her aside, tries to kill her but Yoshi saves Daisy but gets stabbed in the process. As Daisy runs, she encounters Iggy and Spike and they take her to see her father, who has been devolved into the fungus that has been spreading across the city. Daisy locates the Marios and directs them to her, where she introduces them to her father, then tells Mario about Daniella and the other girls so he heads out to rescue them. Koopa learns that Daisy and Luigi are in the King’s chamber and that Lena has apparently betrayed him so he orders her arrest and heads down to capture Luigi and Daisy. Mario reaches the girls and knocks out their guard, then they use a mattress to make their escape through the air ducts, dealing with the goombas that were following them. Their mattress bursts out of the air ducts into the city, where it crashes into the goombas escorting Daisy and Luigi. As Daisy and Luigi go check on them, Koopa prepares to shoot them but Mario uses a stomper boot to knock him off the rail and into a metal bin. Mario goes after him and causes him to drop the rock, which Lena grabs and heads into the tunnels. Luigi, Daisy, and the girls go after her while Mario continues to face off against Koopa. When he pulls out the object Luigi grabbed, Koopa and all the other people recognize it as a Bob-omb and react in fear. Mario activates it and sends it after Koopa but it ends up falling when part of the walkway crumbles and Koopa smiles as he prepares to kill Mario. In the tunnels, Daisy and Luigi send the girls through the portal while Lena places the rock into the meteorite but the forces from the meteorite propel her into the wall with enough force to skeletonize her. Daisy realizes why Koopa needed her and asks Luigi to help her get the rock from the meteorite. Meanwhile, Koopa, Mario, and some goombas are transported to Earth and watch as some of Brooklyn’s buildings merge with Koopa’s world. Koopa tries to use a devolution gun on Mario but misses and changes Scapelli into a chimpanzee. He attempts to attack Mario but Mario uses a mushroom to block it and then uses it to disarm Koopa. Daisy and Luigi remove the rock, causing the worlds to separate again and Mario, Koopa, and the goombas are taken back to Koopa’s world. Luigi and Daisy encounter Toad, who hands them some devolution guns, and then Bertha hands him some stomper boots, which he uses to get to Mario. The two brothers use the devolution guns to attack Koopa, just as the Bob-omb, which had continued moving, makes it underneath the walkway and explodes, sending Koopa back into the container. He emerges transformed as a dinosaur but the Marios continue firing the guns at him, devolving him into primordial ooze. The people cheer at Koopa being dead and the king is transformed back into his human form. Daisy escorts Mario and Luigi back to the meteorite and uses the rock to open the portal and allow them to head home but tells Luigi that she can’t go back and the two kiss before Mario and Luigi head back home. Three weeks later, Mario, Daniella, and Luigi are preparing to eat dinner when Daisy shows up saying she needs their help and Mario quickly grabs his and Luigi’s tool belts as they get ready to help her.

Super Mario Bros. was heavily panned by the critics, holding a 15% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “Despite flashy sets and special effects, Super Mario Bros. is too light on story and substance to be anything more than a novelty.” John Leguizamo has stated that both he and Bob Hoskins hated working on the film and knew it would turn out bad but made the best of it.  The movie was a box office bomb, only earning $20.9 million off of a $48 million budget.

Yeh, this is not a good movie in the slightest sense of the word but it does have a couple of entertaining moments. The acting was ok, with Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo doing decent jobs in their roles. I also liked Samantha Mathis (Daisy) but thought Dennis Hopper made for a pretty lousy Koopa. The story was a real mess, as it honestly couldn’t seem to figure out what kind of movie it wanted to be; a family friendly one or a more serious, adult movie. I think this was probably the biggest fault with the movie as if they had stuck with one format over the other, it could have made for a better movie. The special effects were ok but I felt that they could have been better, though I did think it was funny that the devolution guns were really just painted up Super Scopes for the Super Nintendo. A trend setting theme for Hollywood but unfortunately, the trend pretty much kept going down hill.

Rating: 2 out of 5

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December 4th, 2017 Movie – Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li

street fighter the legend of chun li

You know what needs to happen, a prequel story to Street Fighter that has no relation with the original movie. Ok, I am completely lying about that and yet that is exactly what we got with today’s movie. Now, as soon as I saw the trailers for this movie, I knew it was going to be a “steaming pile” and had no desire to see it in theaters or rent it. Then I got bored while wandering through Movie Stop one day and ended up buying it. To be honest, I think the only reason I bought it was because I was buying some video game based movies and decided to go full on terrible in my purchases. Well, let me get some antacid ready as I watch today’s movie, Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li.

The plot: As a young girl, Chun-Li is forced to travel a lot due to her father’s job but while they are at their home in Hong Kong, her father Xiang begins teaching her wushu. One night, when Xiang returns home, he is attacked by Balrog and some men and he manages to hold them off but when Chun-Li comes downstairs to find out what is happening, Balrog grabs her and Xiang surrenders so he will let her go. Bison enters the room and tells Chun-Li to listen to her father and head upstairs and she watches from her window as Xiang is forced into a car and her mother is struck by Balrog when she tries to stop them. Years later, Chun-Li has become a young woman and is performing a piano concert in Hong Kong and when she returns back stage, her friend says a gift came for her, an ancient scroll. As Chun-Li takes the subway home, she sees some men beating on someone before leaving him lying on the ground and as Chun-Li approaches him and asks someone to help, she notices the web tattoo on his hand. Meanwhile, Bison meets with the heads of the local branches of Shadaloo and says that he will be taking over control of all of them and when the men laugh and leave the building, Bison has Vega kill them all. He then receives a flash drive from Balrog and takes it to Xiang, whom he has been holding captive all this time, and tells him it is photos and a recording of Chun-Li’s concert, which he gives to him in exchange for his continued work for him. After Chun-Li’s mother dies, she decides to find out more about the scroll she received and as she is walking along the streets of Hong Kong, a street sweeper, bearing the same web tattoo, forces her into a shop. Inside, the owner examines the scroll and tells Chun-Li that she should go to Hong Kong and seek out a man named Gen, and Chun-Li realizes that Gen was the one she had helped and forced her into the shop. Meanwhile, Thailand police detective Maya Sunee is joined by Interpol Agent Charlie Nash and they discover the heads of the crime families and Nash tells her that Bison is the one behind it in order to consolidate power. Chun-Li travels to Bangkok, where she lives on the streets, and constantly searches for Gen but has no luck. One night, she sees some thugs beating someone and yells at them to stop, then proceeds to get in a fight with the men. Chun-Li beats them but passes out due to exhaustion and Gen shows up and carries her away. When she regains consciousness, Gen tells Chun-Li that they have been watching her and know where Xiang is being kept. Chun-Li is shocked to learn that Xiang is still alive and asks where he is but Gen tells her she is not ready to know. He then starts to explain about Bison and Shadaloo, saying he used to be part of the organization but now chooses to help those that Shadaloo hurts. He then offers to train Chun-Li in his style of martial arts, warning her that her anger will keep her from realizing her potential and Bison would easily capitalize on it. Meanwhile, Bison has kidnapped the families of various property owners of the slums around the waterfront in order to buy up the property for his own ends. Nash and Maya are keeping tabs on Bison’s operations and follow Bison’s secretary Cantana after she leaves the meeting. Unknown to them, Chun-Li was also watching Shadaloo and follows Balrog, where she overhears him discussing a shipment called the White Rose and asking for it to get into the city without going through customs. Chun-Li continues her training with Gen, who comments on her improvement. That night, Chun-Li heads to the night club where Cantana is and, given her fondness for women, manages to attract her attention and lead her into the bathroom. Once there, Chun-Li attacks her and manages to get the location of where the White Rose will be arriving and gives Cantana a message before she is forced to quickly leave when Cantana’s bodyguards start to break into the restroom. Chun-Li heads to another part of the club, where she ends up being attacked by the bodyguards and some other men, but she quickly defeats them and quickly runs when Nash and Maya, alerted to the commotion, head into the club and see what she did. The next day, Nash and Maya try to find Chun-Li but realize that the people in the area are protecting her. Meanwhile, Chun-Li asks Gen to tell her about Bison and he tells her how Bison had grown up an orphan and became a thief as the years passed. Seeking to get more power, he took his pregnant wife to a hidden temple and transferred all of the goodness in his soul into his unborn child, then kills his wife and cuts the child from her womb. Gen then sends Chun-Li out to get some groceries, wanting to get her out of the house as he knows Shadaloo men are coming. When the men get there, Gen is able to defeat them but Balrog fires an RPG at the house, blowing it up. Chun-Li had just returned and is knocked back by the blast and when she tries to find Gen, all she can find is his medallion and she weeps for the loss of her master. Meanwhile, Bison hires Vega to ensure the White Rose arrives untroubled and to kill Chun-Li. As Chun-Li is walking the streets, she senses someone following her and takes off running along the rooftops before quickly hiding. When Vega approaches where she is, Chun-Li fights with him and quickly beats him, leaving him tied up and hanging off the roof of a building. The next day, Chun-Li heads to the harbor and questions a dock worker as to when the White Rose is supposed to arrive. Meanwhile, Nash returns to his task force headquarters to find that it has been disbanded under orders from above and Maya tells him that he was right about Shadaloo’s influence. Chun-Li heads to the dock to intercept the shipment only to be captured by Bison and his men. Chun-Li is taken to a warehouse and tied to a chair, then Xiang is brought into the room and the two are left alone to talk for a few minutes before Bison enters and breaks Xiang’s neck before leaving. Balrog orders two men to kill Chun-Li but she is able to knock them out and escape. As she makes her way through the streets, Balrog and his men spot her and give chase and start firing at her but some of the crowd begin chasing after them. When Chun-Li is shot trying to prevent Balrog from shooting a kid, the crowd begins throwing things at Balrog and his men, forcing them to leave. Chun-Li ducks into an alley, where she is found by Gen and he takes her away to tend to her injuries. After she is healed, Chun-Li returns to the dock worker, who apologizes for leading her into a trap, and learns when the White Rose is really arriving. Chun-Li then heads to see Nash, telling him of the White Roses arrival and asking him to help her take down Bison. Nash arrives at the dock with his men and are soon joined by Maya and some of her men but as they see Bison arriving, Nash notices a bomb in the building and they quickly evacuate before it explodes. Bison’s men then begin firing on the cops, who are forced to defend themselves but Maya is injured during the fight. Elsewhere, Gen heads onto the boat and encounters Balrog, who reveals that the White Rose is a girl before Gen uses liquid nitrogen to kill him. Meanwhile, Chun-Li is on the boat looking for Gen when she spots a girl and tells her to stay where she is. When Chun-Li finds Gen, he tells her what Balrog said and Chun-Li realizes that the girl she saw is actually Bison’s daughter, Rose. The two go find Nash, who has a helicopter ready and they head off after Bison, who had managed to grab Rose and get away during the confusion. Chun-Li, Gen, Nash, and one of Maya’s SWAT team members head into Bison’s headquarters and attempt to find Bison and Rose, taking out the guards along the way. Gen encounters Bison, who easily defeats him, while Nash finds Rose and takes her out of the building. When Bison enters Rose’s room, he finds Gen waiting for him and the two fight again but when Bison throws Gen out the window, Gen’s leg is impaled on a piece of rebar. Before Bison can finish him off, Chun-Li attacks him and after a vicious battle, she summons a ki blast to knock him off the roof they are on, then jumps down onto him and breaks his neck. Nash approaches her and tells her to leave while he deals with the fallout with the authorities. Some time later, Chun-Li returns to her home in Hong Kong when Gen approaches her and shows her an article about an upcoming street fighter tournament. He says that they need to recruit some more fighters and mentions a prospect in the tournament named Ryu but Chun-Li says that she won’t join him as she is home now.

It may be hard to imagine, but Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li did even worse than it’s predecessor, only earning a 6% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “The combination of a shallow plot and miscast performers renders Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li a perfectly forgettable video game adaptation.” The movie marks the third fighting video game franchise that Robin Shou has been a part of, as he had played Liu Kang in the Mortal Kombat movies and the pirate leader in D.O.A.: Dead Or Alive. The movie was a box office bomb, only earning $12.8 million off of an $18 million budget.

Oh yeh, this is definitely one of those movies that is famous for being terrible. The acting was ok at best, with Robin Shou (Gen) and Michael Clarke Duncan (Balrog) doing good jobs in their roles but the actual stars, Kristin Kreuk (Chun-Li) and Neal McDonough (Bison), actually being pretty boring with their roles. The story was a horrendous mess, only loosely following the story in the game, that being the fact that Chun-Li was after Bison for revenge for her father, but several of the major characters in the game, outside of Bison’s men Balrog and Vega, are not seen or mentioned, except for Ryu at the end. Some of the fight scenes were ok but a lot of the special effects looked cheap, which hurt the scenes they were used in. If you really want to watch this movie, do yourself a favor and smack your head against a brick wall a few times first, so you can be rendered unconscious before the movie starts.

Rating: 1 out of 5

 

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December 3rd, 2017 Movie – Street Fighter

street fighter

The early/mid 90’s was an interesting time in movies as Hollywood took notice of the renewed video game craze and decided to make movies based on popular video games. Today’s movie is one such movie, taking advantage of one of the most popular games to come out of the 90’s, Street Fighter. I will be honest, as soon as I saw the trailer for this movie, I had a feeling this was going to be terrible. Then a few years ago, I decided to buy this terrible movie; a) because I was in a video game movie buying mood and b) because I am a glutton for punishment. So let’s deal with the punishment of today’s movie, Street Fighter.

The plot: In the Asian nation of Shadaloo, a civil war has broken out between the forces of the Allied Nations, and General M. Bison. As Chun-Li Zang reports on Bison’s kidnapping several relief workers and the soldiers that guarded them, Bison, who is watching the broadcast, is having the soldiers brought to him and challenging them to fight him, quickly killing them when they attack him. When Colonel William Guile arrives at the newly captured capital city and Chun-Li attempts to interview him, Guile proceeds to taunt Bison, prompting Bison to break into the television signal and speak with Guile. Guile has Sergeant Cammy attempt to trace the signal using Chun-Li’s news van, Bison tells Guile that he has 3 days to come up with the $20 billion ransom for the hostages or else he will kill them all, then disconnects the signal as Guile tells the workers and his friend Charlie that he is coming to rescue them. Bison approaches the last soldier, Carlos “Charlie” Blanka, and orders him to be taken down to the laboratory, where he has his captive scientist Dhalsim work to turn Charlie into the first of his genetically modified super soldiers. Later that night, Ken Masters and Ryu Hoshi pose as arms dealers in an attempt to con Viktor Sagat by selling him toy weapons but Sagat reveals that he is onto their scam. As punishment, Sagat has Ryu face off against his unbeaten champion cage fighter, Vega, with Ken fighting next, but before the fight can start, the warehouse is raided by Guile and his men, who arrest everyone for violating curfew. As Guile holds a meeting to plan their attack on Bison to free the hostages, it is interrupted by a Shadaloo assassin attempting to kill him. Since their trace was only able to narrow down Bison’s base to a general area of the country, Guile tries to figure out a way to locate Bison’s base when he notices a fight break out in the prison yard between Ken and Ryu vs Vega and several of Sagat’s men. Guile has Ken and Ryu brought to him and convinces them to help him in exchange for their freedom. As Sagat, Vega, Ken, Ryu, and several other prisoners are being transported out of their, Ken and Ryu stage a fight in order to secretly grab the keys to their shackles. After freeing themselves, they toss the keys to Sagat when he offers to get them out of the city, then Ryu and Vega jump out and hijack the truck to escape. Guile attempts to stop them but Ken had grabbed a gun from one of the guards and shoots Guile as they make their escape. After finishing her report on Guile’s death, Chun-Li, her cameraman Balrog, and her driver E. Honda, are checking the signal on her tracer when they get interference from another tracer, with the signal coming back to A.N. HQ. Chun-Li sneaks in to figure out what is going on and discovers that Guile had faked his death in order to get Ken and Ryu into Sagat’s good graces so they could be taken to Bison’s headquarters. Guile orders Chun-Li to be detained, as he is aware her interest in Bison is due to a personal vendetta, but Chun-Li manages to escape and meets up with Balrog and Honda at the thieves market. There, they masquerade as performers doing an acrobatic act while Bison and Sagat are completing their arms deal. Knowing that Ken and Ryu are secretly working with Guile, Chun-Li lures Ken into her tent and when Ryu follows, Honda and Balrog grab him and tie them up. Chun-Li tells them she plans to kill Bison and Sagat and gives them an opportunity to escape. When Ken and Ryu reenter the main tent, they find themselves in the middle of a stand-off between Bison and Sagat’s men, as Bison had attempted to pay Sagat in “Bison dollars”, which are worthless. To save themselves, Ken and Ryu are forced to inform Bison of Chun-Li’s plans, just as a pre-recorded announcement occurs and Honda pushes a truck full of explosives down the hill towards Sagat’s weapons and ammo. Bison orders an evacuation and everyone is saved, while Chun-Li, Honda, and Balrog are captured. When they arrive at Bison’s headquarters, he orders Zangief to show Ken and Ryu around and get them some clean clothes, Honda and Balrog are taken to the interrogation room, and Chun-Li is taken to Bison’s quarters. Guile, finally learning where Bison’s base is, plans his assault but the Deputy Secretary of the A.N. orders him to stand down, as they want to pay off the ransom, but Guile and his troops disobey the orders and continue to head out to attack Bison. Meanwhile, Ryu and Ken go to free Balrog and Honda, only to find that they had already freed themselves, and convince them they are trying to help them escape. The 4 go to rescue Chun-Li, who had attacked Bison and almost defeated him but the distraction of their arrival allows Bison to escape and knock them out with sleeping gas. As Guile, Cammy, and T. Hawk make their way to the headquarters in their stealth craft, Bison detects them and manages to blow up their ship but the three escape and head towards the base. Meanwhile, Dahlsim had attempted to save Blanka’s mind by altering the programming and when he is discovered, the guard attempts to kill him but their struggle accidentally releases Blanka, who quickly kills the guard. Guile sneaks down into the temple through a sewer entrance and enters the lab, where he is confronted by Blanka but the two recognize each other and Blanks stops fighting. Blanka asks Guile to help him and Guile is prepared to shoot him to put him out of his misery but Dahlsim stops him, saying he doesn’t have the right to kill him and he should be going after Bison instead. When the deadline passes and the ransom isn’t paid, Bison orders Blanka’s cage brought up so he can kill the hostages but when the cage opens, Guile emerges and quickly attacks Bison and his men. As he holds off Bison’s men, Guile tells Ken, Ryu, Chun-Li, and Balrog to go free the hostages while Honda begins fighting with Zangief. As Guile’s troops arrive to assist in the battle, Dee Jay, Bison’s computer technician, sneaks away while Sagat and Vega, seeking revenge, go after Ken and Ryu. Bison and Guile begin fighting each other, telling their respective troops to leave them. As the fighting continues, Ken decides to leave and save himself, saying he did the job that Guile wanted them to do but Ryu refuses to leave without helping the hostages. Dee Jay sneaks into Bison’s quarters and finds his emergency stash of money but quickly hides as Ken comes in, looking for the same thing. Ken grabs a statue but when he tries to find a way out on the monitors, he sees Ryu enter the gym, with Sagat and Vega entering behind him, and races off to help him. Ryu is double teamed by Vega and Sagat at first until Ken gets there, and Ryu faces off against Vega while Ken fights Sagat. The two friends are able to defeat their opponents and as they leave, Ken thanks Sagat, saying if he hadn’t of met him, he might have become just like him. Chun-Li, Balrog, Cammy, and T. Hawk free the prisoners and make their way out of the base, encountering Honda and Zangief on the way and tell him to leave as well. Zangief calls Honda a coward and sees Dee Jay attempting to flee only to learn that Zangief had been misled by Bison and that he is actually a bad guy so Zangief helps the others escape. Meanwhile, Bison and Guile continue to fight and Guile eventually manages to electrocute him, seemingly killing him. However the electricity activates Bison’s suit, which revives him and allows him to access conductive electro-magnetism, allowing him to fly across the room and attack Guile. As Bison prepares to administer the final blow, Guile kicks him and directs him into a monitor bank, causing it to crash to the ground while part of the roof falls on top of him due to the temple’s self destruct being activated. Guile heads down to the lab to get Blanka and Dahlsim out but they refuse to leave, with Blanka saying their is no place for him up there while Dahlsim wants to stay to atone for his part in what happened to Blanka. Dee Jay escapes with the money and is joined by Sagat, who breaks open the chest and laughs when he finds it is filled Bison dollars. Guile manages to make it out of the temple before it explodes, much to the relief of his friends, and the news reports about the fall of Bison’s army but unknown to everyone, a solar cell activates Bison’s suit and his hand is seen punching through the rubble, with a computer program loading up World Domination.

Street Fighter was highly panned by the critics, holding a 15% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “Though it offers mild entertainment through campy one-liners and the overacting of the late Raul Julia, Street Fighter’s nonstop action sequences are not enough to make up for a predictable, uneven storyline.” The post credit scene of Bison’s hand emerging from the rubble was cut from the theaters, out of respect for Raul Julia (who died two months before the movie premiered) but was reinserted when it went to video. Despite the poor reviews, the movie was actually a success at the box office, earning $99.4 million off of a $33 million budget

Oh yeh, this was incredibly bad. Surprisingly, some of the acting wasn’t that bad, with Van Damme doing an ok job as Guile and Raul Julia, while not quite as intimidating as the character in the game, definitely made his last role memorable. The biggest problem was really how the characters differed from the video game version. The story was honestly a convoluted mess, with them trying to have too much going on to make this an effective movie. The fights and special effects were as weak as the story and really hurt the movie’s ability to be entertaining. Another movie to be added to the pile of disastrous video game movies.

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5

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March 22nd, 2017 Movie – Assassin’s Creed

assassins creed

Now it has been few months since I have watched a movie based on a video game. The weird thing is, considering the advances in video games over the years, you would figure that a movie would turn out really good. However, most of the times, these movies are absolutely terrible. When today’s movie came out in theaters, I didn’t get a chance to see it because other things kept coming up, which seems to be happening a lot recently. However, I had several friends tell me that I would probably enjoy it so, being me, I decided to take them at their word and pre-order it. So let’s see if my friends were right as I watch today’s movie, Assassin’s Creed.

The plot: In 1492, Aguilar de Nerha is accepted into the Assassin’s brotherhood and tasked with defending Prince Ahmed de Granada from the Templars. If he is captured, the Templars could learn the whereabouts of the Apple of Eden, and with it gain control over all free will. In 1986, young Callum “Cal” Lynch is attempting to jump his bike over rooftops but fails and falls onto a pile of mattresses that he set up in case he failed. Returning home, he finds that his father, Joseph, has killed his mother and when dozens of cars show up to grab Joseph, Joseph convinces Cal to run. Thirty years later, Cal is in prison facing execution for suspected murder but instead of being killed by the drugs, he wakes up some time later in a lab room, where Dr. Sofia Rikkin explains that his death was faked by the Abstergo Foundation. Struggling with the after effects of the drugs, Cal tries to run and Dr. Sofia tells the guards not to touch him. Cal eventually comes to an open air garden and stands on the ledge overlooking the city. One of the men in the garden tells him to jump but he doesn’t and Sofia begins talking to him when security guards, under orders from her father Alan Rikkin, tranquilize him. Cal is prepared for going into the Animus, where Sofia explains that he will be reliving the memories of his ancestor Aguilar de Nerha, where Abstergo hopes to learn the location of the Apple. In 1492, Aguilar and a squad of assassins reach the village where Prince Ahmed is hiding and manage to stop the Templars from executing some of the villagers and razing the village. Maria, Aguilar’s partner, manages to drive off with the prison cart that Ahmed is in and as Templars, led by Ojeda, chase after her, Aguilar grabs a horse to follow. Aguilar and Maria manage to kill some of their pursuers but when the cart is about to go over a cliff, Aguilar manages to free Ahmed from the cage and avoid falling to his death, just as Sofia orders Cal pulled out of the Animus. That night, Alan questions Sofia about why she pulled Cal and she tells him they have to go slow and build his trust. Some time later, Alan meets with his superior at Abstergo, Ellen Kaye, who says she is pulling the plug on the Animus project but when he tells her that they are close to finding the Apple, she allows it to continue. Back at the facility, Cal is experiencing hallucinations of his time in the Animus and Sofia tells him it is called the Bleeding Effect. When Cal questions what she is doing, she shows him how she has tracked his lineage to Aguilar and explains that the other “patients” are also descendants of assassins. Sofia also tells Cal that her mother was killed by an assassin and instead of turning to violence, like Cal, she turned to science and hopes to use the apple to rid the world of violence, which she sees as a disease. Later, Cal is at the cafeteria and meets Moussa, who is the somewhat leader of the assassin descendant’s in the program, and some of the other descendants feel that Cal is going to lead the Templars to the Apple. Alan pressures Sofia to place Cal back into the Animus and she reluctantly agrees. In his cell, Cal sees an hallucination of Aguilar and begins fighting with him, and he starts thinking he is crazy as the guards come to place him in the Animus. Cal begins singing nonstop and Sofia tries to get him to focus but he continues singing. Back in 1492, Aguilar, Maria, and some other assassins are about to be burned at the stake but Aguilar manages to free himself, then Maria and the two escape. In the present, Sofia watches Cal’s actions and realizes that he is syncing up with Aquilar. Back in 1492, Aguilar and Maria race across the rooftops, fighting Ojeda and Templar soldiers along the way, until they eventually reach a tower, where they preform a leap of faith to escape. The leap causes a violent reaction in Cal, forcing Sofia to pull him out and Cal ends up temporarily paralyzed and as he recovers, he ends up bonding with Sofia. Some time later, Alan pays a visit to Cal and speaks with him and says that he wants the Apple. He then takes Cal to a room full of people that are no longer able to go in the animus and says that Joseph is there, then hands Cal the Assassin’s blade that Joseph used to kill Cal’s mother. Leaving the room, Alan returns to Sofia’s lab, and Sofia tells him this is wrong but Alan says that Cal had to enter the Animus of his own free will in order to get the job done and now he will want to go there to destroy his father. Cal confronts Joseph and Joseph explains about the Apple and that his mother chose to die so she would not be forced to give away it’s location. Cal then tells Joseph that he is going to find the Apple and give it to them in order to destroy him. Later one of the descendants tries to kill Cal but Cal is able to stop him and as the guards take him away, the descendant yells at Call that he is going to kill the Creed. Cal willingly goes back in the Animus, where Aguilar and Maria are watching the Templars force Muhammad to give them the Apple. Once the Templars have the Apple, Aguilar and Maria use smoke bombs to help them ambush the Templars, killing most of them and grabbing the Apple but when the smoke clears, Ojeda has a knife to Maria’s throat while Aguilar is similarly threatening Tomas de Torquemada, the Templar leader. Maria chooses to die in order to keep the Apple safe so Ojeda kills her. Aguilar stabs Tomas then fights with Ojeda but Ojeda overpowers him. Before Ojeda can kill him, Aguilar uses Maria’s hidden blade to stab him, then finally kills him but Tomas manages to unseal the door, allowing more guards to enter. Aguilat manages to escape and eventually gives the Apple to Christopher Columbus, telling him to take it to his grave. Suddenly, Cal is surrounded by visions of his Assassin ancestors, which confuses Sofia and the guards in the chamber. Meanwhile, Moussa and some of the other descendants start a riot and begin fighting their way towards the Animus chamber. Alan orders the facility to be purged, then leaves with Sofia and his head of security as the rest of the security forces kill Joseph and dozens of other Assassins. In the chamber, Cal sees his mother, who tells him he is not alone and has him recite the Assassin’s Creed, causing him to fully embrace his heritage. When Moussa and some other Assassin’s enter the chamber, Cal helps them arm themselves and fight off the guards before they eventually make their escape. At Columbus’ tomb, Alan retrieves the Apple but Ellen tells Sofia that she knows who really found it and says that her time will come. At the Grand Templar Hall in London, Sofia and Alan argue over his lying to her about the reasons for finding the Apple, as she now knows he looked for it only to kill the Assassins, not to benefit mankind. While the Templars are gathering, the Assassins have managed to sneak into the hall and remove the parts they each secretly carried into the hall to assemble an Assassin’s hidden blade, which is given to Cal. As Alan starts to give his speech, Sofia walks away but then stops as she sees Cal approaching and the two talk briefly before he heads past her and kills Alan and retrieves the Apple. As the assembled mass all run from the temple, Sofia approaches her father’s body and says that she did this and after Ellen speaks to her, Sofia leaves with Abstergo’s head of security and looks up into the night, while elsewhere in the city, Cal and the other Assassins stand on a rooftop and renew the Assassin’s vow to protect the Apple.

Assassin’s Creed met with poor reviews from the critics, holding a 17% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is that, “Assassin’s Creed is arguably better made (and certainly better cast) than most video game adaptations; unfortunately, the CGI-fueled end result still is still a joylessly overplotted slog.” The Leap of Faith performed in the movie was done with the use of a stunt double, instead of digitally as the production team wanted to make certain elements of the film as real as possible, and the 125 foot jump was one of the highest free falls performed by a stuntman in 35 years. The movie was a modest success, earning $240.5 million off of a $125 million budget.

I will admit, I did expect a bit more from this movie, but all in all it isn’t a bad movie. The acting was good, with Michael Fassbender (Cal) and Marion Cotillard (Sofia) doing a good job in their roles. The basic story was pretty good, and I liked that they used original characters that could be tied into the universe established in the video games but I agree that it did get kind of bogged down by too many plot elements. I mean, you had the story line in the past but in the present, you had three different sub-plots going on; the main one with Cal and Sofia, the Alan/Abstergo/Templar subplot, and the Assassins’ descendants subplot. All of this going on really did slow down the pace of the movie as they tried to work everything in. The fight coordination and special effects were pretty good and did help try and keep the pace of the movie going. Not the best movie out there but it is a good movie to sit and veg to if you are in the mood for an action flick.

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5

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