horror, movie, movie review, sci-fi

June 23rd, 2017 Movie – Sabretooth


Well, we have come to my second favorite letter that movies start with, the letter “S”. There are two reasons why this is one of my favorite letters, which we will get to later, but if there is a third reason, it would probably be Sci-Fi/Syfy original movies. Today’s movie happens to be one of those movies and is actually one of the first of those types of movies that I purchased. I remembered watching this movie years ago and was amazed to see John Rhys-Davies in it. So let’s have some fun with today’s movie, Sabretooth.

The plot: At a genetics lab called Science Frontiers, a janitor is working on cleaning up the labs late at night when he realizes that the cage inside the room did not close and he is killed by the animal inside. The next day, Casey Ballenger, assisted by her ex-boyfriend Trent Parks, is leading a group of junior guides (Leon Tingle, Lola Rodriguez, and Jason) on a training excursion in the woods. At the same time, a flatbed truck is carrying the animal from the lab to another location and as he stops for gas, the driver gets a call from Catherine Viciy, the scientist that cloned the animal, who is impatient for him to arrive with the animal. That night, the driver dozes off behind the wheel and ends up wrecking the truck and the container carrying the animal falls off the truck and breaks open. When the driver goes to check the container, he finds it empty and, hearing growling coming from the woods, runs back to the truck but the animal attacks it and kills him. At a mountain home, Anthony Bricklin, a wealthy businessman, is watching video Catherine is showing him of a baby sabretooth tiger that she had clones and when she says it is full grown, he is in shock as she had earlier said that it would take 6 months. Catherine tells him that her growth accelerator works and that they can use it to quickly grow new organs for people and Bricklin imagines the money he will be able to make. They are soon joined by Kara Harmon, who is there to study the sabretooth but since it hasn’t shown up yet, Catherine and Bricklin decide to see if they can find the driver, believing he might have stopped for something to eat. At the same time, the sabretooth attacks and kills a couple just outside of their home. The next morning, Bricklin and Catherine drive past the wreck and Bricklin worries that the authorities might have found the animal but Catherine says that the place would be crawling with reporters if they had. Trying to figure out what to do, Bricklin decides to call in Bob Thatcher to track the animal, though Catherine is reluctant to do so. Bricklin calls Thatcher and lies about what kind of animal he is hunting but tells him they need it taken alive. Meanwhile, Casey and the others are still hiking along the mountain when Leon starts goofing off and almost falls off of a cliff. Trent and the others manage to pull him back up but they don’t notice the sabretooth watching them at the bottom of the cliff. Thatcher leads Bricklin, Catherine, and Kara in hunting the sabretooth and as he finds the sabretooth’s trail, he starts doubting Catherine’s story about the animal. They come to the home of the couple that was attacked and Thatcher and Bricklin head inside and find the remains of the man. Thatcher tells Catherine to use his satellite phone to call the police but Catherine takes the phone and tosses it into the woods. As she is about to head back, her foot is grabbed by the girl, who is severely mauled and begging for help but Catherine quickly shakes her leg free from the girl’s grasp and heads back to the house. When Thatcher asks about the police, Catherine tells him the phone is gone and must have fallen out on the trail somewhere. That night, Casey and the others are passing around a bottle of tequila and playing truth or dare when Casey decides to go to sleep and Trent and Lola go for a walk. Meanwhile, Thatcher and the others have made their own camp and Thatcher decides to see if he can pick up the sabretooth’s trail. Kara and Catherine argue over whether they should tell Thatcher the truth about the animal when Kara is attacked by the sabretooth and dragged off. Meanwhile, Trent and Lola stop to sit down and Lola kisses Trent, then takes off her shirt and tells him to catch her. As she is running through the woods, she sees the sabretooth feeding on Kara and screams and runs away from it. Trent finds her and she tells him what she saw but he thinks she is overreacting and she heads back to the camp still frightened. When she gets there, Casey asks Trent what he did and he says she saw an animal and freaked out. In the morning, Casey is trying to get Lola to describe what she saw but thinks she might have overestimated the size of it. As they continue hiking, they come across a cave and Leon and Casey decide to look inside while Jason lays down outside and Trent and Lola head off on their own. Inside the cave, Leon and Casey find some cave drawings on the walls of the cave but as they are leaving, they find a mountain lion at the entrance to the cave. Leon manages to scare it off with the torch he was carrying and they head outside to see Jason had hidden on some rocks when the mountain lion ran out of the cave. Meanwhile, Lola tries to kiss Trent again but Trent turns his head, as he still has feelings for Casey, and the two head back to rejoin the others. Thatcher picks up the guides’ trail and notices the sabretooth is following them so he plans on following the guides to warn them. That night, Jason leaves the camp to use the restroom but is attacked and killed by the sabretooth. Casey and the others hear his screams but realize they won’t be able to find him in the dark and so they build up the fire and keep watch. In the morning, they split up to go look for Jason, with Casey and Leon going one way while Trent and Lola go another with plans to meet back in 20 minutes. Casey and Leon find the toilet paper Jason had but encounter Thatcher, who tells them Jason is dead and has them lead him back to their camp. Trent and Lola encounter the sabretooth and they try to run for it but the sabretooth kills Lola. Trent makes it back to camp and tells the others what he saw and Thatcher tells them to head to a nearby mine and hide while he goes and kills it. Thatcher gets the animal in his sights but before he can shoot it, Catherine tries shooting it with a tranquilizer and misses, scaring the sabretooth off. As they argue about what to do with the sabretooth, the sabretooth returns and attacks them, killing Brinklin. The sabretooth then heads to the mine and Casey and Trent try hiding inside while Leon tries fending off the sabretooth with a pair of knives but the sabretooth kills him. Managing to find a narrow crevice to hide in, Casey sees an opening at the top and is able to climb out but Trent is too big to fit. Thatcher and Catherine reach the mine and Casey sees them and gets Thatcher to help her rescue Trent. Thatcher loads up a tranquilizer but can’t fit inside the opening to use it so he hands it to Casey, who manages to use it on the sabretooth. When the sabretooth goes down, Trent is able to escape and Thatcher tells Catherine to take Trent and Casey down to the lake while he deals with the sabretooth. As the sabretooth emerges from the mine, Thatcher tries to shoot it only to discover that Catherine had taken the bullets out of his rifle. Thatcher manages to escape but his foot is caught in a trap and injured. Casey and Trent head back to help him and Thatcher hands Trent his knife and tells him to cut a few saplings down to use as spears, then they head off to find Catherine. They soon find her at the edge of the cliff and Catherine says they are trapped. When Thatcher says he still plans on killing it, Catherine pulls out the revolver she stole from him and threatens to use it. Trent manages to knock it out of her hand but not before she fires a shot and hits him in the shoulder. When the sabretooth appears, Catherine tries to get it to run but it attacks and kills her instead. Trent, Casey, and Thatcher climb onto some rocks and use their make-shift spears to fend off the sabretooth and eventually, Thatcher is able to kill it by jabbing it in the stomach with the spear when it leaps at him. As they make sure they are ok, Casey and Trent start kissing and Thatcher jokes about not minding him as they stop and help each other to get down from the mountain.

This was a fairly decent movie but a little boring at times. The acting was good, with David Keith (Thatcher), Jenna Gering (Casey), and Josh Holloway (Trent) doing good jobs in their roles. John Rhys-Davies (Brinklin) and Vanessa Angel (Catherine) were some surprising known names and I thought it added a bit to the movie but they were not entirely necessary. The story was pretty interesting, with the scientist cloning a dead animal and then doing whatever she can to keep it alive. The addition of the guides being stalked was pretty good but the whole romance side story just felt stupid and really a waste. The special effects were on the low end, as the sabretooth looked pretty blocky and off when it was interacting with the actors. Syfy original movies have come a long way since this movie but this can still be a fun movie to watch.

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5

horror, movie, movie review

June 19th, 2017 Movie – The Ruins

the ruins

Now this is a little bit embarrassing for me to admit, but I have not watched this movie since I bought it. I don’t mean that I watched it when I bought it and haven’t watched it since, but that I haven’t watched it all. See, a few years ago, I bought a couple of movies at MovieStop when they had a sale and I watched all of them but did not get around to this one. Over the course of time, I just honestly forgot to watch it. Bear in mind, the only reason I bought this movie in the first place was because it was recommended to me, not because I actually wanted to see it. Poor excuse all around I know, but let’s put that aside as I finally manage to watch today’s movie, The Ruins.

The plot: A woman is huddling in the dark, screaming for help as she tries to get a signal on her phone when something suddenly grabs her. Some time later, 2 couples (Jeff, Amy, Eric, and Stacy) are vacationing in Mexico when they meet Mathias, a German tourist who is there with his brother Heinrich. When Mathias mentions his brother had gone to an archaeological dig with a girl he met and is late getting back, the two couples agree to go with him to find Heinrich. The next morning, Jeff, Eric, and Stacy are getting ready to go but Amy is reluctant to go, partially due to being hungover and partially from guilt in kissing Mathias while she was drunk the night before, but Jeff convinces her to come. The group, along with their guide Dimitri, take a bus to the outskirts of the jungle and then try to get a taxi to take them close to where the ruins are but the driver refuses at first until they pay him. Reaching the spot on the map, they find Heinrich’s jeep and start making their way through the trail and when they come to a stream, they find that the trail has been covered for some reason. The eventually reach a vine covered temple but before they can explore them, some men appear out of the jungle and start yelling at the group. Jeff and Mathias try to explain that they are there looking for Mathias’ brother but the men don’t seem to understand them. When Amy tries to take the men’s picture, she steps on some of the vines and the men get violent and start pointing at her. Thinking they are upset about the camera, Dimitri goes to get the camera from Amy and give it to the men but he is shot with an arrow before having he head blown off. The group run up the temple steps as more men emerge from the jungle and surround the temple, leaving them no choice but to climb to the top. When they reach the top, they find the remains of a camp and Heinrich’s body covered in vines. With no way to call for help, the group worries about what to do when they suddenly hear a ringing coming from a shaft leading down into the temple. Mathias recognizes the ring as Heinrich’s phone and they use the rope from the dig to try and lower Mathias down into the shaft so he can find it but the rope breaks and he ends up falling. Hearing him moaning in pain, Stacy volunteers to go down the shaft to see how badly he is injured but the rope is now too short so she is forced to jump the rest of the way. Stacy injures her knee but lets them know that Mathias is alive but appears to have broken his back. Jeff recommends cutting up one of the tents to make a longer rope while they use the backpacks to make a back brace for him but Amy want to try and plead with the men at the base of the temple for help. Amy makes her way down, with Jeff chasing after her, and tries pleading with the men but to no avail. Frustrated, she throws a clump of vines at them and it strikes a young boy and the villagers all recoil in horror from the boy and start yelling at him, motioning for him to climb the temple, and when he refuses, they kill him. Jeff and Amy head back up the temple and realize that their touching the vines is what scared the villagers and forced them up the temple. Amy rides the makeshift brace down the shaft and helps Stacy lift Mathias onto the brace so Jeff and Eric can pull them up. When they are all on the surface, Jeff does his best to help Mathias and they all go to sleep for the night. The next morning, Stacy finds a vine wrapped around her injured leg and as she screams for help in getting it off, Eric and Jeff help her. When Amy checks on Mathias, she finds the vines have wrapped around both of his legs and she yells for Jeff to help her and Eric realizes that the vines’ spores are on all of their clothes. Hearing the phone ringing again, Amy and Stacy are lowered down into the shaft to try and find it and realize it is coming from a vine-covered chamber. Looking around inside, they find the body of the archaeologist and a broken phone. When they hear the ringing again, Amy realizes it is coming from the flowers of the vines. She touches one of them and the vines attack her and Stacy and they barely make it back to the rope so Jeff and Eric can pull them up. As Amy and Stacy tell them what happened, they realize that the vines are predatory. When Jeff notices that the flesh from Mathias’ lower legs have been eaten away, he tells them that he is going to have to amputate his legs in order to save his life. Eric doesn’t want to do it and wants to put it to a vote but Mathias tells Jeff to go ahead and do it and with Eric’s help, Jeff amputates both of Mathias’ legs. That night, Jeff heads down to the base of the temple and walks around, noticing how the villagers have set up their camps and keep watch on him. Meanwhile, Amy is upset about everything and Eric tries to comfort her outside the tent. Stacy hears moaning and exits the tent and accuses Eric and Amy of having sex but they both deny it. When Jeff returns, Stacy continues arguing about what happened and while everyone tries to calm her down, they don’t notice the vines approaching Mathias and choking him to death by going down his throat. Jeff finally notices and pulls the vines from Mathias and they hear the flowers mimicking their words from the argument. The next morning, Jeff and Amy are observing the villagers when Eric gets them and brings them back to the tent. Eric tells Stacy to show them and she turns around and lifts her shirt to reveal the vines moving beneath her skin. Jeff proceeds to cut her leg and remove a clump of vines from her leg, then her back, but when Stacy complains that they are in her head, Jeff refuses to cut her anymore. They all decide to get some rest but Stacy exits the tent and goes looking through the rest of the camp and finds another knife. When Eric and the others notice her gone from the tent, the discover Stacy has repeatedly cut herself trying to remove imagined vines from her body. Jeff tries to take the knife from her but she flails about and cuts him with it. When Eric tries to reason with her, Stacy stabs him in the chest and as he collapses, she comes to her senses and apologizes for killing him. As the vines begin to drag Eric away, Stacy pleads with Amy and Jeff to kill her and Jeff reluctantly grabs the knife from Eric’s body before it disappears and does so. Jeff then covers Amy in Stacy’s blood and tells her to head to the jeeps and if ti doesn’t start, to keep running and head for the village. Jeff then carries Amy down the temple and lays her down on the ground, then starts walking away from it. As he starts talking to the villagers, while leading them away from her body, he yells out her name and she gets up and starts running as the villagers shoot Jeff with arrows. As the villagers chase after Amy, their leader approaches the mortally wounded Jeff and executes him with a gunshot to the head. Amy manages to make it to the jeep and is able to drive away but as she approaches the main road, it is shown that the vines are growing in her face. Meanwhile, Dimitri’s two friends, who had passed out on the beach and he left a map for them to follow, have arrived at the temple and start calling out his name looking for him.

The Ruins received mixed reviews from the critics, holding a 48% review on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “Despite a solid cast and truly frightening source material, The Ruins flounders, thanks to a weak script and an excess of gore.” While Scott B Smith wrote both the novel and the screenplay, the deaths of the characters were all changed in the two mediums. For the movie itself, several endings were shot, including one where the flowering vines are shown to be springing up from Amy’s grave, and director Carter Smith went with the ending test audiences had the best reaction too. The movie was a mild box office hit, earning $22.3 million off of an $8 million budget.

A killer plant movie. Been a while since I have seen one of these. Anyways, all things considered this was a pretty decent horror movie. The acting was good, with the main cast doing a good job of projecting a sense of helplessness and desperation as the face the prospect of certain death, either from the vines or the villagers at the base of the temple. The story was pretty interesting, as you never really got a sense of who the killer was in the trailers, but the killer plant was an interesting idea, especially the part where the flowers can vibrate and mimic human speech. The director did a good job in ratcheting up the tensions and terror in the movie right up to the finale. I don’t know how much difference there was between the unrated version I have and the theatrical version but I have to say that the gore factor in this movie was a bit of an overkill at times, especially the part where Stacy is peeling the skin off her own leg. The special effects were pretty minimal but they did do a good job with the plants and how they moved and acted. Might not be the most believable horror movie but it can be good for some scares on a dark night.

Rating: 3 out of 5

comedy, fantasy, horror, movie, movie review

June 18th, 2017 Movie – Rubber


Today’s movie is one of those movies where you honestly have to wonder how on Earth this thing got made. Now I was first told of this movie by several of my friends, who knew that I love B-movies and kept telling me about the movie involving a killer tire. Seriously, a killer tire? Well that obviously got my attention so I looked it up and sure enough, there was a movie where the killer was nothing but a tire. Now I have to admit, that is definitely an original concept. So I did what comes naturally in such a situation and bought this movie, which brings us to today’s movie, Rubber.

The plot: A bunch of chairs are set up out on a desert road while nearby, a man wearing a pair of glasses stands holding a bunch of binoculars. Suddenly, a car appears and proceeds to run over all of the chairs in the road before it stops and pops the trunk. A man Lt. Chad Ballard exits the trunk and begins talking to the camera about how some elements in movies, as well as in life itself, have no reason, then says this film is an homage to “No Reason”. As he gets in the car and drives away, the man with the binoculars begins handing them out to a group of spectators that were standing there, then tells them to turn around and enjoy before he rides off on his bike. The group of people use the binoculars to look in the direction he indicated and one of them says she sees a dump nearby. In the dump, a half buried tire suddenly begins moving all on it’s own, eventually managing to stand up right and start rolling through the desert. When the tire comes across a plastic bottle, it hesitantly touches it at first but then happily crushes it, then crushes a scorpion a little while later. When it comes across a glass bottle, the tire tries to crush it but it is unable too. The tire begins shaking violently and manages to shatter the bottle with some sort of psychokinetic power. The spectators starts commenting about what the tire did before telling one man who was videotaping the events that he should stop as it is considered piracy. Back in the desert, the tire uses it’s powers to shatter a can, then continues rolling across the desert until night falls and it lays down and apparently falls asleep. The next morning, the man in glasses shows up where the spectators had fallen asleep and, after rummaging through some of their things and stealing their money, he wakes them all up to continue watching the movie. Some of the spectators members start complaining about being hungry as they start watching the tire wake up. The tire heads to a puddle and appears to drink some of the water when it notices a rabbit nearby and uses it’s powers to kill it. When the tire reaches the highway, it notices a woman, Shelia, driving by in a car and it uses it’s powers to cause the car to stall. As Shelia tries to get her car started, the tire starts rolling towards her and is prepared to kill her when it is suddenly struck by a man in truck and knocked to the side of the road. With the tire’s attention distracted, Shelia is able to get her car started and head back down the road, flipping off the man in the truck as he is stopped for gas. Meanwhile, the tire rights itself and after killing a crow, it heads off down the highway, eventually reaching the gas station and killing the man in the truck by making his head explode. The tire continues down the highway until it comes to a small inn, where it sees Shelia’s car in the parking lot. Seeing an open door, the tire approaches it and sees Shelia undressing and getting in the shower. Out in the desert, the several members of the spectators start making sexual jokes and a pair of teenage girls start complaining about them talking during the movie. Back at the hotel, Shelia finishes her shower and, noticing the open door, quickly shuts it so the tire heads into the room next door, where it proceeds to start watching TV, while out in the desert, various members of the spectators start to go to sleep as well. That night, the man in the glasses receives a phone call from someone he refers to as “Master”, and he says that he will do what he is ordered in the morning and as he hangs up the phone, a turkey is seen to be in the room with him. The man opens up a suitcase, which is full of various blades and equipment, and proceeds to kill the turkey. The next morning, the man leaves and a maid asks if he would like her to clean his room and he tells her sure, before he gets on his bike and rides off. The man head out into the desert and yells out “Food” before dropping the cooked turkey onto the ground. A feeding frenzy occurs as all of the spectators, except for a man in a wheelchair, begin ripping apart the turkey and eating whatever they can grab. Back at the inn, the maid begins cleaning the room that the tire was in when she hears the shower running and sees the tire inside the tub. The maid grabs the tire and throws it out of the room, thinking some freaks brought it in there, but the tire gets up and rolls back into the room and shutting the door. The owner’s son sees this and tries to tell his dad what he saw but his dad doesn’t believe him and sends him to get a pizza. Back in it’s hotel room, the tire had killed the maid and is watching TV when it notices Shelia heading towards the pool and it follows her there and watches as she swims for a while and then leaves. Meanwhile, the owner’s son is on his way back with the pizza when he sees the dead crow and places some of the exploded meat onto the pizza. Meanwhile, the tire rolls into the pool and proceeds to sink to the bottom. Back in the desert, some members of the spectators start debating on if tires can sink or float when suddenly they all start complaining of pain in their stomachs. When one of them asks what is going on, the man in the wheelchair explains that they poisoned the turkey in the hopes that it would kill off all of the spectators so they wouldn’t have to finish the movie but he plans on continuing watching the show. Back at the inn, the boy returns and knocks on the door to the tire’s room when it suddenly opens and he sees the maid’s body. The police arrive as Shelia finishes eating and leaves the inn. The son shows his father and the Ballard the tire in the pool and his father yells at him for telling stories and then tells him to get the tire out of the pool. When the boy tries to convince them about the tire, the owner yells at him to leave, then throws the tire after him. Ballard proceeds to ask the owner a few questions when an alarm goes off and he says that they can stop as the poison has done it’s work. Gathering the paramedics and other officers over to him, Ballard proceeds to tell them to go home as the movie is over but they all react with confusion. Ballard tells them that none of this is real, then has one of the officers shoot him to reveal that it is merely blanks and fake blood. When they question him about the body, he tells them to check the bag but when they tell him it is still a corpse, Ballard looks confused. The man in glasses approaches and tells Ballard that one of the spectators survived and they have to go on, so Ballard apologizes to the other officers. He heads back to the owner to ask him some more questions but the tire rights itself and kills the owner, then rolls away. The tire rolls on and encounters the son, who tries to talk to it but it ignores him and rolls away and the son quickly tells Ballard and the other officers where he went. Meanwhile, the man in glasses brings up some various items of food to the man in the wheelchair, who ignores him and continues watching the movie and the man in glasses starts watching, then begins eating the food himself, falling victim to the poison intended for the spectator. The tire is chased by a police car but it kills the driver, then keeps rolling until it comes to a group of men that are burning a large mound of tires. 3 days later, the tire has gone on a rampage and killed dozens of people. The police find the tire hiding inside a house watching Nascar, after it has killed the family. Using Shelia to help them, the police set up a dummy and have her broadcast through a speaker to try and lure the tire out of the house. As Shelia and Ballard argue over what he she is supposed to say, they are surprised when the man in the wheelchair knocks on the door to the van and tells them the scene makes no sense. One of the other officers says they wouldn’t even be there if he had eaten the turkey and the spectator apologizes for that and asks that they try and speed things up. The tire eventually blow the head off the dummy but it doesn’t trigger the dynamite like it was supposed to. Ballard grabs a shotgun and heads inside to kill the tire himself, then throws the shredded tire at the spectator, saying “The end. Good-bye.” The spectator complains about the ending when he sees a tricycle rolling out of the house and tells them to come back as it’s not over yet. The spectator then tries reasoning with the tricycle, saying he isn’t an actor, but it blows him up, then heads off down the road. Shelia is dropped off at her car and as she prepares to leave, she sees the tricycle riding past her. As it makes it’s way though the city, other tires begin rising up and following after it

Rubber met with mostly praise from the critics, holding a 68% review on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “A clever premise gets plenty of comic blood and violence, but its hampered by some questionable storytelling techniques from director Quentin Dupieux.” In a bit of irony, one of the spectators was played by Daniel Quinn, who starred in a movie called Scanner Cop where he had psionic powers and could make people’s head’s explode, just like the tire. The movie had a limited release, making about $100k off of a $500k budget.

This is one of the most honest movies you will ever watch because they tell you at the beginning of the movie that it makes no sense. So as long as you are fully aware of that, this movie can be entertaining to watch in a “so good it’s bad” kind of way. The acting was ok for the most part, though I admit that Roxane Mesquida, Shelia, could have done a better job. The story was complete nonsense and never explained, which is exactly it was supposed to be. I did think it was funny when Ballard was half-heartedly interviewing the inn’s owner when his alarm went off and he basically was like “Quitting time. I am so out of here.” The special effects were pretty good, especially in regarding the remote control tire, as I guess that was probably harder than you would expect to try and hide the hardware inside an empty, rolling tire. This is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination but it is worth a watch for the spectacle if nothing else.

Rating: 3 out of 5

adventure, horror, movie, movie review

June 16th, 2017 Movie – Rogue

rogue 2007

Ending the work week with a killer crocodile movie. Aside from Monday, this has been a pretty good week of movie watching for me. Now I had an interesting time with this DVD when I bought it. See, I picked this up at a Blockbuster during it’s out of business sell because I always need another killer crocodile movie to watch. Unfortunately, the disk I had was scratched up to the point that the end of the movie was unwatchable. So I wound up going to MovieStop and purchasing a copy there. However, that movie was also messed up but, unlike Blockbuster, I could return it and get another copy. So after three attempts at purchasing this movie, let’s see if it was worth it as I watch today’s movie, Rogue (2007).

The plot: In Australia’s Northern Territory, American Pete McKell arrives in a small town as part of his job as a travel journalist. After talking to his boss, where Pete complains about the airline losing his bags so he can’t finish his article, Pete boards a crocodile watching tour run by Kate Ryan, a wildlife researcher that works in Kakadu National Park. As they observe the crocodiles, Kate starts telling the group details about the saltwater crocodile but when some of the group get nervous, she assures them that the crocodiles won’t attack anything bigger than them. Suddenly a couple of locals, Neil and Collin, buzz the cruise in their own boat before pulling up next to it, and Neil partially stands on the boat in order to talk to Kate, as they have a history. After Pete and another passenger, Everett, ask Neil to leave, Kate starts to throttle forward, causing Collin so suddenly jerk his boat to the side and dumping Neil into the river and Kate and the tour group laugh as he is forced to swim over to his boat. After a couple more hours on the river, Kate is preparing to head back when Preston notices a flare in the distance. After several other members of the group see a second one, Kate tries to radio her base but is unable to reach them due to their being in a canyon so, despite the protests of some of the group, she tells the group that they have to investigate the flare and off assistance if needed. Kate steers the boat towards the location of the flare and they start looking but don’t see any signs of people. Just before they turn back and head for home, Kate spies a boat that has recently been sunk when suddenly, something large strikes their boat, causing it to start leaking. Kate steers the boat towards a nearby island and everybody disembarks but several of the group begin arguing and complaining about what happened. Kate grabs some of the survival bags from the boat and looks for the radio but she doesn’t get a signal from the hand held or the boat. One of the passengers, Russell, realizes that they are on a tidal island and that it will be underwater soon. He starts getting belligerent and wants to swim to the main land but Kate and Everett stop him. As they get a signal from the radio, they head back to shore but Everett is suddenly grabbed and dragged underwater while nobody is looking. Everyone is in shock at what happened and Kate heads back to the boat to look for some flares but they have floated off into the middle of the river. Neil and Collin show up and buzz the group but when they notice they are in trouble, they turn around and start to head towards them when their boat is knocked into the air and crashes back into the water. Neil surfaces and swims to the island but as he looks around, there is no sign of Collin. Realizing that they are in the territory of a large crocodile and they won’t last long when the tide comes in, Neil ties some ropes together and swims across to the other side, then ties the rope to a tree to serve as a suspension bridge, so they can make their way across. Mary Ellen, Everett’s wife, is the first person to attempt to cross but she ends up panicking and freezes half way. Allen, who is there with his sick wife Gwen and their daughter, Sherry, gets impatient and has Sherry climb onto the rope and he follows her, then starts yelling at Mary Ellen to move. Pete and Kate yell at Neil to try and help Mary Ellen move but when Neil goes to grab the flashlight that he dropped, he is killed by the crocodile. As the tree Neil tied the rope too falls into the water, Mary Ellen, Sherry, and Russell all swim back to the island but as Allen apologizes to Kate for his actions, he is suddenly grabbed by the crocodile and flung into the river and it then grabs him and drags him away. As everyone is in shock at what happened and fearing for the worst, Pete goes on the boat for the first aid kit and notices the anchor. Grabbing the anchor, Pete says that he plans on hooking the crocodile, giving them enough time to swim to shore. Realizing that it is their only chance, the others agree and want to use Kevin, Kate’s dog, as bait but Kate refuses to let them. As Gwen yells at Kate for refusing to sacrifice Kevin for their well being, Simon pulls some dead ducks from the shoreline that they can use as bait. After setting the trap, Pete chooses to stay behind and man the hook and Kate leaves Kevin with him while she leads the others across the river. When the crocodile takes the bait, Pete yells out to the others and Kate has them start swimming across, with Russell helping Gwen across. As Pete prepares to go, the line suddenly goes slack and he warns Kate, who is the last one to swim across. Kate yells at the others to run and after they do, Pete, holding onto Kevin’s leash, starts swimming towards her, just as the crocodile grabs her and drags her away. Pete tries looking for Kate but when he finds no sign of her, he tries to locate the others when Kevin suddenly runs off. When Pete runs after him, he ends up falling down into the crocodile’s lair, where he finds Neil’s body floating in the water. Pete sees Kevin sitting near Kate’s body and when he goes to check on her, he discovers that she is alive, though badly wounded. Suddenly, Kevin runs back up to the entrance to the lair and as Pete grabs Kate’s body, he hears Kevin yelp in pain before a crunching sound is heard. Pete manages to hide with Kate as the crocodile makes it’s way into the lair, swallowing what’s left of Kevin before appearing to fall asleep. Grabbing Kate, Pete quietly tries to make his way out of the lair, checking on the crocodile every now and then. When Pete notices the crocodile has disappeared, he barely has enough time to get out of the way as it lunges out of the water at him. Taking shelter beneath the roots of a large tree, Pete tries to lure the crocodile away from Kate, forcing it to chase after him. He tries to fend it off with a large branch but the crocodile bites it and snaps it in two. Pete hides between some rocks but the crocodile lunges after him and as Pete tries pushing it’s head away from him, it bites off two of his fingers. Pete is able to grab a bone shard and jab it into the crocodile’s eye, driving it away from him but it simply swims over to block the entrance to the lair as it watches him. When Kate suddenly groans in pain, the crocodile turns it’s attention towards her and tries to get her. Pete throws a rock at it to lure it away from Kate, then grabs the branch, which now has a pointed tip, and braces it against the rock as the crocodile approaches him. The crocodile leaps out of the water to attack Pete and ends up spearing itself in the head with the branch, killing it. Pete crawls out from the crocodile’s body and, after grabbing Kate, makes his way out of the lair. After catching his breath, Pete starts carrying through the marsh until he comes across the rescue party that had found the others. After getting his wounds tended too, Pete approaches the stretcher that Kate is on and after a brief bit of small talk, Kate thanks him for saving her life before she is airlifted away to the hospital. As the credits roll, the screen focuses on the wall of the bar Pete entered at the beginning of the movie, where a news article of Pete killing the crocodile is pinned to the wall.

Rogue (2007) met with high praise from the critics, holding a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While there isn’t a critical consensus on the site, the critics all felt that the movie was well shot while praising the location for adding to the tension in the film. The crocodile in the movie was based on a the true story of Sweetheart, a 5.1 meter saltwater crocodile that was responsible for attacks on numerous boats during a 5 year period but never killed anyone. Though it received plenty of critical acclaim, the movie was a failure at the box office, earning $4.6 million off of a $26.9 million budget.

This is one of the better killer crocodile movies that I have seen, and I have seen quite a few. The acting was pretty good, with Michael Vartan (Pete) and Radha Mitchell (Kate) doing great jobs in their roles, while all of the supporting cast were equally good portraying the various emotions and stresses that the group was suffering. The story was really good and did a good job in expressing the desperation and panic that the group was in, ratcheting up the tension in the film right up to the very end. The special effects were pretty good and the crocodile itself, aside from the large size, was pretty realistic looking, though the end scene of Pete killing the crocodile was a little weak compared to the rest of the film. A well done movie that is worth watching.

Rating: 4 out of 5

adventure, horror, kaiju movie, movie, movie review, sci-fi

June 13th, 2017 Movie – Rodan

rodanFor me, there is no better way to start the day than by watching a Toho kaiju movie. Now today’s movie was always one of my favorite Toho monster movies as a kid. Like many kids, I was a bit of a dinosaur nut and here was this movie about a giant Pteranodon attacking a city. Of course, being a Toho monster meant that Rodan would find it’s way into the Godzilla series, which gave me even more chances to see him. So let’s go ahead and watch Toho’s resident high flyer in action as I watch today’s movie, Rodan.

The plot: In the mining town of Kitamatsu, the miners are preparing for the morning shift in the mine when a fight breaks out between two workers, Goro and Yoshizo, but it is quickly broken up and the men head down into the shaft. A short time later, a call comes in to the headquarters that part of the mine has flooded and Shigeru Kawamura, one of the mine’s safety engineers, quickly heads to the mine to investigate. When Shigeru gets down to where the workers are, he learns that Goro and Yoshizo are missing so he leads a group down to try and find them as well as figure out where the water came from. The group eventually come across the body of Yoshizo and quickly take him back to the surface and take him to the doctor’s office, where the doctor says he was killed by a sharp object. Some of the men believe Goro killed Yoshizo, as he has not been seen since the flood, but Shigeru tells them not to jump to conclusions until the police have finished investigating. As they leave the doctor’s office, Shigeru sees his fiance Kiyo waiting for him and she asks if the rumors about Goro, her brother, are true but he tells her to have faith in Goro. Later, two workers and a police officer are standing at the water’s edge of the tunnel to see if Goro comes out when they hear a splash in the water. Heading into the water to investigate, they hear a strange noise followed by more splashing when suddenly, the worker in front starts screaming as he is dragged underwater. The police officer fires his pistol at their attacker but he too is dragged under and killed, while the second worker is killed while trying to to radio for help. After the bodies have been recovered, the doctors say that the men were killed by the same weapon that killed Yoshizo but they have no idea what could have done it. That night, Shigeru is trying to comfort Kiyo after Yoshizo’s wife yells at her for Yoshizo’s death when they are attacked by a giant insect. They quickly run and Shigeru calls for help and when the police get there, they see the creature and start firing at it but their bullets seem to have no effect as the insect charges at them. With more officers and people coming to help, they soon track the insect to the top of a hill but it manages to kill two police officers before making it’s way back to the mine. Heading into the mine, the police bring some machine guns to use on the insect but even the machine guns have no effect so they are forced to retreat back towards the surface. Shigeru releases the mine cart and crashes it into the insect, killing it, but as they are moving the debris from the crash, a second insect appears. The police begin firing at it but it has no effect when a cave in suddenly occurs, killing the insect and trapping Shigeru inside the mine. Dr. Kashiwagi examine the body of the insect and say it looks like a giant prehistoric dragonfly larvae called Meganulon. Suddenly, a tremor occurs and they learn an earthquake occurred somewhere between the mine and the nearby volcano, Mt. Aso. As the scientist go to examine the site of the earthquake, they see Shigeru stumbling around in the newly formed crater. Taking Shigeru back to the village, they find that he is in a state of shock, causing him to become mute and giving him temporary amnesia. As Kiyo cares for Shigeru, Kashiwagi and the other doctors try to work with him in regaining his memory but to no avail. Meanwhile, a JSDF plane reports to it’s base about an unknown object traveling through the air at supersonic speeds. The pilot is ordered to investigate but as he gets close, the object suddenly reverses course and destroys the plane with a supersonic attack. As the JSDF examines the wreckage and pilot’s remains, they learn of another plane being attacked by the object. As reports come in of the object flying over the area, from Beijing to Manila, the news reports feel like it is impossible for the object to be in different places so close apart and theorize that there are two of them. A Honeymooning couple heads to Mt. Aso to take some pictures when they are attacked by the flying object. As the police examine the items left behind, they develop the pictures from their camera and see a strange wing in one of the frames. Izeki, a newspaper reporter, takes the picture to Kashiwagi to look at, and he and his assistants say it resembles the wing of a Pteranodon. Meanwhile, Kiyo shows Shigeru some bird eggs that are starting to hatch and he regains his memory of what happened inside the cave. Speaking with Kashiwagi, Shigeru tells them that he saw a giant egg hatch and a giant baby Pteranodon was eating the Meganulon that were inside the chamber before flying off. Shigeru leads Kashigawi and some other men to the chamber where the egg was and they find a piece of the egg shell but are forced to run when another cave in occurs. After examining the shell fragment, Kashiwagi is able to estimate how large the egg was theorizes that nuclear testing possibly lead to the giant size and wakening of the creature, which they are calling Rodan. Heading towards Mt. Aso, the group see Rodan appear at the base of the volcano and the police chief sends one of his men to report what is going on but Rodan takes off and uses it’s sonic boom to destroy the jeep. the JSDF mobilizes some planes to attack Rodan but their weapons have no effect and it heads towards Fukuoka. Landing in the city, Rodan begins destroying the city and the JSDF mobilizes tanks and rocket launchers to combat the giant monster but to no avail. As Rodan uses it’s wings to generate powerful gusts of wind that destroy buildings and push the JSDF vehicles away, a second Rodan appears and begins flying over the city before both Rodans leave the city and head back to Mt. Aso. Using a helicopter to examine Mt. Aso and finding the Rodans’ nest, the JSDF plan on bombing the mountain and causing a cave-in that will trap the monsters inside the mountain. One of the geologists says that their plan will cause Mt. Aso to erupt and the commander says that will work to their advantage, believing the lava will kill the monsters. The JSDF evacuate the area, then begin firing at the volcano in an attempt to bury the monsters. The Rodan’s are able to escape but when the Mt. Aso proceeds to erupt, one of the Rodans is overcome by the fumes and ends up falling to the ground, where it is set on fire by the lava. As Shigeru, Kiyo, Kashiwagi, and the others watch, the second Rodan descends to the ground and lands near it’s dying mate, then catches on fire as well and the assembled people watch as both monsters are consumed by fire and die.

Rodan met with mostly praise from the critics, holding a 70% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While there isn’t a critical consensus on the site, the critics seemed to enjoy the movie but did feel the plot was a bit tedious. This was the first Toho kaiju movie to be filmed in color, though Toho’s first color film was released earlier in the year. Like many other of Toho’s kaiju movies, Rodan found a large audience outside of Japan, especially in the US, though there were changes made just like the other kaiju movies that were shown in the US.

This was always my favorite non-Godzilla Showa era kaiju movie. The acting was pretty good, with a good mix of drama in the early going followed by the usual panic/antics that occur during a kaiju movie. The plot was decent, though it was a bit disappointing because Rodan didn’t really show up until almost 2/3 of the way through the movie, while the first 30 minutes was focused on the Meganulon. The Rodan suit was actually pretty incredible and it is a shame that this suit wasn’t used in the Godzilla series, where we wound up with a googly eyed monster in the later films. A fun movie to watch and enjoy, even if you are not a kaiju fan.

Rating: 4 out of 5

horror, movie, movie review, sci-fi

June 5th, 2017 Movie – Robocroc


It’s time, once again, for my favorite game to play; “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Or Can He?” After the last disappointing movie, not so much a disappointing movie but that he had such a limited role in it, I am hoping for a much better showing today. So I honestly don’t recall when this was shown on Syfy, I am sure it did have a debut showing, but I obviously did not see it then. I wound up buying it with a bunch of other B-movies during an Amazon binge so I honestly had no idea if it was going to be good or not. Luckily, it did wind up being good but judge for yourself with today’s movie, Robocroc.

The plot: A top secret military project involving nanobots is shot into space for testing but the rocket malfunctions and the payload ends up being ejected before the rocket explodes. The payload lands in Adventure Cove, a combination water park/zoo, and infects Stella, a prized saltwater crocodile. Later that morning, Chef is feeding the various animals when he notices the trail of smoke heading towards the crocodile pen. When he gets there and calls out to Stella, she comes charging at him and he is forced to run as she smashes through the fence of her enclosure and Chef eventually hides in a storm drain. Later, Duffy, the head zookeeper shows up to work and is approached by the park’s owner Marshall and told about Stella and Chef being missing. As they head to Stella’s enclosure, they are joined by Jane, the zoo’s new biologist but when they get to the enclosure, they find it roped off by the military, led by Colonel Montgomery and a scientist named Riley. Riley refuses to let them into the enclosure, saying that they are searching for pieces of a wrecked plane, but when Duffy and Jane begin talking about Stella, Montgomery agrees to let them tranquilize Stella first before they go in. Duffy tranquilizes Stella and after he and Jane check on her, they tell the military they have one hour to find what they were looking for before she wakes up. Duffy and Jane start looking for Chef and find one of his shoes in some bushes and the other inside a drain pipe, indicating he is still alive. Jane then finds a patch of Stella’s skin and Duffy notices a metallic shine to it so Jane places it in a bag to examine later. Meanwhile, the recovery team find the capsule but inform Riley that the payload had ejected upon impact. Suddenly, Stella wakes up and, showing patches of metal underneath her skin, begins attacking the recovery team. Duffy tries to get some answers from Riley about what is going on but she ignores him and they learn that Stella has managed to get inside the lion enclosure. Meanwhile, Duffy’s son Rob and his friend Hud are at the waterpark and when Hud videotapes two girls, Sydney and Jules, the girls get mad and their boyfriends proceed to throw the two boys into one of the pools. Back at the zoo, Duffy spots Chef in the drain pipe inside the lion enclosure and he and Jane head inside the enclosure to rescue him. As they are trying to head back out of the enclosure, the lion starts to chase after them but Stella suddenly attacks it, allowing them to get away. After seeing Chef into an ambulance, Duffy tries to help Jane get over the shock of what has happened by showing her some of the scars he received in his job and telling her to always be careful around nature. Riley and Montgomery are trying to locate Stella but are having no luck and Duffy and Marshall explain that Stella can be anywhere due to all of the water in the park being interconnected. Back at the water park, Rob and Hud are trying to have some fun, though Hud is still mad about the two guys throwing them in the pool, when Sydney and Jules’ boyfriends see them and proceed to lock them in one of the restrooms. Stella continues to go through the various pipes, killing several people in the area before she makes her way into the water park, where she begins attacking the guests. When they receive word of her being in the park, Montgomery orders Marshall to shut down the park in order to keep her trapped in there and Marshall reluctantly does so. Meanwhile, Sydney and Jules had gone to look for their boyfriends and after finding them, the four kids leave the bathroom only to see the carnage that has occurred outside. They try to find some help but are find themselves trapped and unable to call for help. Back at the mobile HQ, Montgomery and Riley begin arguing over what to do about Stella, with Montgomery wanting to kill it but Riley refusing to allow Stella to be destroyed, as it is her life’s work. When Duffy demands to know what is going on, threatening to show the piece of skin to the press but Riley threatens to have them arrested if he does that. Montgomery then explains to Duffy and the others exactly what the nanobots were supposed to be capable of but they for this test, they were only given the most basic order; to survive. Back at the water park, Jules’ boyfriend is killed by Stella and as they panic over what happened, Sydney’s boyfriend says he knows who might be able to help and they head back to the bathroom to free Rob and Hud and asks for their help. Meanwhile, after Stella takes out a helicopter that was searching for her, Duffy offers to capture Stella alive and contacts Nigel Evans, one of the Australians that helped him capture Stella originally, and they head down into the lake with two divers to try and find her. Unknown to everyone else, Riley has managed to gain control of Stella and secretly programs her to attack the divers. Duffy and Nigel manage to escape and head back to the surface and Montgomery decides to electrify the lake, rendering Stella inoperable. Rob manages to get through to Duffy and tells him about being trapped in the park and Duffy and Jane go to get them out. Meanwhile, Stella comes back online and kills Marshall, then heads back to the park and kills Jules. Rob and the others manage to escape on ATV’s and head back to the water slide, which they climb to get out of Stella’s reach but Stella shows up and starts climbing after them. When Duffy, Jane, and Nigel reach the park, Nigel tries to distract Stella but ends up being killed when she does a death roll while he is on her back. Jules’ boyfriend is killed as the kids try to slide to safety but Rob, Sydney, and Hud manage to escape. Duffy tells them to head to the pump house and stay there but they head down into the sewers and try to get out of the park that way. Duffy and Jane meet back with Montgomery and Riley and head after Stella, who has made it to the town and manages to escape into the sewers. Duffy and Montgomery take an EMP device with them and head into the sewers after them. On the surface, Jane is keeping in touch with them when something interferes with their comms and she realizes that Riley is helping Stella but when she confronts her, Riley punches Jane in the throat and heads down into the sewers and Jane follows after she recovers. Duffy runs into the Rob and Sydney, who are helping Hud as he had fallen and twisted his ankle, and tells them to get somewhere safe, then keeps trying to get in touch with Montgomery, who encounters Stella and is seriously injured. When Stella returns to finish off Montgomery, he sacrifices himself by using a grenade to try and stop Stella. Riley confronts Duffy and tries to shoot him but Jane pushes her and knocks her down, right into the path of an oncoming Stella. Seeing Stella approaching, Duffy arms the EMP and places a recording of the music Chef plays for feeding time inside the briefcase and throws it towards Stella. Stella grabs the briefcase, as well as Riley’s hand, and drags them further into the sewer when the EMp goes off, killing Stella and Riley. Duffy and Jane head back to get the kids and they help Hud make it to the ladder so they can leave and Rob and Sydney end up kissing while Jane admits to being attracted to Duffy.

Once again, Parker Lewis can’t lose, bringing his record to 5-1-1. This was a pretty decent B sci-fi movie to watch. The acting was ok, with Corin Nemec (Duffy), Steven Hartley (Montgomery), and Dee Wallace (Riley) doing great jobs in their roles. The main story was pretty good with the nanobots merging with the crocodile to make a killing machine, and the government scientist refusing to stop the project no matter what happens. However, the little side story of Rob, Hud, and the other kids really didn’t make much sense except to serve as one minor segue to keep the plot moving some and the blossoming romance between Rob and Sydney just felt completely contrived. The special effects were pretty good for a low budget movie and I did like how Stella gradually became more metallic and robotic throughout the movie until it eventually became entirely robotic. So a fun movie to watch and shows Parker Lewis can still be the hero.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5

action, horror, martial arts, movie, movie review, sci-fi

June 4th, 2017 Movie – Robo Vampire

robo vampire

Ahh, my favorite bit of false advertising when it comes to movies. Take a look at the poster for this movie. Pretty awesome, right. I mean, you have Robocop holding some guy in a headlock while firing a machine gun. What’s not to like about that. Well, when I finally got a chance to watch it, man was I in for a disappointment. See for yourself.robo vampire suit
See, this is what you wind up getting in the movie. Definitely a bit of a disappointment, but let’s see if the rest of today’ movie is just as disappointing as I watch Robo Vampire.

The plot: Two soldiers are leading their prisoner through am old graveyard when one of them trips and accidentally knock open a casket covered in holy seals. As the soldier starts to get up, a hand reaches up out of the crypt and a vampire attacks and kills him, then kills the second soldier as he is struggling with the prisoner. Elsewhere, some drug smugglers are bringing in some drugs when they are confronted by an anti drug unit and forced to flee. At his headquarters, Cole, the boss of the drug operation, is yelling at his henchmen about Agent Tom Wilde and his Anti-Drug force. He tells them that he has hired someone to train vampires to kill Tom, and find a new way to smuggle their heroin. At a temple, two men, Tony and Ken, are stuffing packets of drugs into coffins when the vampires inside the coffins wake up and start attacking them. The doctor that is training the vampires manages to rescue Tony and Ken, using wards to subdue the vampires, and afterwards, examines the drugs and finds that they are actually rice powder and says that Boss Cole will punish them. As Cole informs his workers about the new way they will be smuggling their drugs, a woman is shown cutting open a cow’s stomach and placing drugs inside before sealing it closed. As the doctor is creating another vampire beast for two of Cole’s men, he is attacked by a ghost, who is seeking vengeance on him for turning her love into a vampire beast. As the ghost gets the upper hand over the doctor, the doctor wakes the vampire beast and has him fight the ghost but he stops when the ghost is able to get him to recognize her. As the doctor grows upset, one of Cole’s men suggests giving them the wedding that the two lovers were denied in life and the doctor agrees to do this provided that both the ghost and vampire agree to do his bidding and the ghost accepts. The next day, Tom gets a tip from a double agent named Sophie about a drug run and he heads out with a team to stop them. Two of Tom’s agents are killed, as are the two bodyguards but the doctor is able to summon two vampires to kill Tom and the remaining agent, then drives away. Tom’s body is recovered and a scientist is given permission to use his body to create an android to continue the drug task force’s operation. Meanwhile, the doctor and Richard, one of Cole’s lieutenants, discuss the fact that they have a traitor in their midst and the doctor suggests killing every drug task force officer the encounter. Cole’s men capture Sophie, who was undercover posing as an assistant to a priest that was a front for the drug smuggling. Worried about Sophie possible being tortured and giving up classified information, the task force hires someone to head to the Golden Triangle and rescue her from Mr. Young, Cole’s partner. Meanwhile, the doctor and Richard continue their operations and when they are stopped by some of the task force, the doctor summons a vampire to deal with them. Suddenly, the android Tom shows up and the doctor and Richard make a run for it as Tom begins fighting the vampire. Meanwhile, the team to rescue Sophie is ambushed by Young’s men but they find themselves rescued by a mercenary named Andy, whom Ray, the team leader, had contacted about joining the mission due to his knowledge of the region and his own reason to take down Cole. Ray, finds one of the men that was holding Sophie hostage and manages to capture him. As he starts to interrogate him, the man’s mocking causes Ray to almost kill him but Andy stops him at the last second. Meanwhile, Tom is continuing to track down Cole and his men when he is attacked by 4 vampires. Tom manages to fight them off only for Cole’s men to blow him up with a bazooka so the scientist is forced to rebuild him. Ray and the team continue searching for Sophie and after an encounter with some of Cole’s men, they find the people of a nearby village had been completely killed off. Elsewhere, the doctor is performing the marriage ceremony for the ghost and vampire and as they are consummating the marriage, Tom shows up. The ghost begs him not to kill them and Tom, spurred on by memories of his own love, chooses to let them live. As he leaves, the ghost and vampire attack him but he is able to fend them off and trap them inside a coffin. Meanwhile, Ray and Andy’s sister, May, had snuck off to be alone and find themselves chased by Young and some of his men. They try to get away but end up being captured and tortured just like Sophie was but one of the worker girls chooses to help them escape. At the same time, Andy leads the rest of the team to rescue them and two members are killed but they are able to free Ray and the others, rescue Sophie, and blow up Young’s base. Cole is complaining about Young’s defeat and asks the doctor to help him re-establish his empire but before they get started, Tom shows up. The doctor summons his vampires and Tom ends up fighting them throughout the city. Meanwhile, the doctor is attacked by the ghost but he manages to kill her. Seeing Tom finishing off the last of his vampires, the doctor summons some more and as Tom fights them, he plans to use his magic to make them stronger but the ghost returns and kills the doctor, allowing Tom to kill the last of the vampires and leave the city.

This is the most confusing, ridiculous movie I have seen in quite a while, and it is absolutely hilarious because of it. The acting was ok but the dubbing was pretty atrocious at times, which really added to the humor of the movie. The funniest part though was how the vampires moved, because they would hold their arms straight out and just hop around to move. I almost literally was rolling on the floor laughing at that. The story was a confusing mess, as it kept switching back and forth between the robo-warrior Tom and Ray’s mission to rescue Sophie. It honestly felt like two separate movies were being smashed together to try an make one full movie but they left out half of the important plot elements. The special effects were about as low budget as you would expect, from the cheap looking robot suit to the fact that you could see some wires for the vampires in some scenes, like when Tom uses his flamethrower to kill a vampire and you see the flames catch the wire holding the dummy on fire. There were also several times where you can blatantly see the dummies being blown up or thrown around which was really funny. Not a great movie by any standards but definitely funny in a bad way and worth watching if you want to laugh at something completely ridiculous.

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5