comedy, fantasy, movie, movie review, romance

January 18th, 2018 Movie – Splash

splash

So we come to an end to the movies that were purchased/gifted over the holidays and I am sure you are thinking this is an interesting movie for me to own. Well, this movie was bought as a gift due to an inside joke/nickname I was given. Years ago, when I was roommates with my friend Emily, a commercial for the TV show Charmed came on, showing Alyssa Milano’s character becoming a mermaid. Emily asked how one’s become a mermaid and my wife at the time responded that one becomes a werewolf when bitten by a werewolf. Without missing a beat, Emily turns to me and asks why I bit Alyssa Milano, to which my response was, “Why wouldn’t I?” Anyways, that response led to Emily calling me a mermaid, which has stuck to this day, though I did get her back with my own nickname for her. Anyways, in honor of the nickname, and because she felt I needed to own this movie, this was one of the movies she got me for Christmas. So let’s have some fun with today’s movie, Splash.

The plot: In 1964, young Allan Bauer is on the Cape Cod ferry with his family. As his family head to another part of the ship, Allan sees something in the water and jumps in. While underwater, a girl approaches him and grabs his hand and the two smile at each other, with Allan able to breath underwater, but their connection is broken when a crew member dives in to save Allan. As they take him back aboard the ship, Allan continues to stare out at the girl, who is staring back at him from the water, but no one else sees her and when Allan is led inside the ferry, she dives back underwater, revealing that she is a mermaid. 20 years later, Allan runs a fruit and vegetable warehouse in New York City with his irresponsible older brother Freddie, when his girlfriend calls and tells him that she is leaving him. After attending a coworker’s wedding, Freddie takes Allan to a bar to drink his sorrows away and as Freddie tries to arrange a double date with two women he picked up at the bar but Allan decides to head to Cape Cod, saying it relaxes him. The next morning, Allan is walking along the beach when he encounters eccentric scientist Walter Kornbluth and asks him for a ride to the island, as he was dropped off on the wrong beach, but Walter is paranoid that Allan is there to spy on him and steal his research so he refuses to help him. One of Kornbluth’s workers directs Allan to a man that will take him to the island and on the way there, Allan admits that he can’t swim, causing the man to try and scare Allan but he ends up stalling out the motor. As the man swims back to shore to get another boat, Allan attempts to fix the motor and gets it working but ends up falling overboard as the boat goes out of control and is knocked unconscious when the boat strikes his head. Allan comes too on the beach with a massive headache and as he looks around, sees a blonde, naked woman staring at him and calls out to her. The woman doesn’t answer but approaches him, then grabs him and kisses him before diving into the water. As the woman swims away, Allan calls out to her to come back but she doesn’t respond. The woman, who is a mermaid, finds Allan’s wallet on the ocean floor, where it fell when  he was knocked unconscious, and swims away with it only to encounter Kornbluth, who tries to take a picture of her but she quickly swims away. Reaching her underwater home, the mermaid finds New York City on a map and begins swimming towards it. The mermaid arrives at Liberty Island, with her fins transforming into legs when she is out of the water, and causes a commotion by walking around naked. The police arrive to take her into custody and when they discover she has Allan’s wallet, they give him a call about her. Allan quickly rushes to the police station, leaving Freddie to handle a meeting with a new client, and heads down to the police station to pick her up. Allan takes the woman back to his apartment, where she constantly tries kissing him, but he has to head back to work and turns the TV on, telling her he will be back later and take her to dinner. When Allan arrives back at work, Freddie is surprised by Allan’s new attitude and his willingness to let him have more control over the business. Back at his apartment, the woman starts learning how to speak some English by watching TV and heads out to a department store, where she ends up buying some new clothes and learning more English before Allan finally finds her. As they are walking back to his apartment, Allan tries to find out more about the woman and she decides to call herself Madison and tells him she is in town for 6 days. That night, Madison takes a bath in the middle of the night but when Allan goes to check on her, she quickly dries her tail so that he doesn’t see her as a mermaid. The next day, Kornbluth continues searching for the mermaid but when he sees one of his workers reading a tabloid with a picture of the naked Madison on it, he recognizes her as the mermaid he saw and heads to New York City. As Allan continues to fall in love with Madison, Freddie tries get Allan to admit that he is in love with her but he refuses to admit it to himself, as he has never really been in love with anyone. Meanwhile, Kornbluth heads to the National History Museum and tells them that he has proof that mermaid’s exist but his mentor says he can’t believe he is stuck on that nonsense idea. Korbluth decides to prove that the mermaid is real and goes looking for Madison to splash her with water but mistakenly splashes another woman by mistake, causing her husband to assault Kornbluth. During dinner, Allan asks Madison to marry him but she doesn’t answer. As they are ice skating afterwards, Allan asks her again and she tells him no, saying she wants to make the most of the 3 days with him but she has to leave. As Allan and Madison start to argue about the matter, she leaves and Allan tries to apologize but she runs off before he can catch her. As Alan searches the city for Madison, Madison heads to the water and prepares to head back to the ocean but thinks back as to why she came to look for Allan in the first place and heads back to him. Madison agrees to marry Allan and he wants to get married the next day and Madison agrees to it, saying she will tell Allan her secret before they get married. Remembering that they are to attend a Presidential dinner that night, the two head there, unaware that the injured Kornbluth is there trying to expose Madison. After Kornbluth is escorted outside by the secret service, Madison tells Allan she is ready to tell him her secret and they leave, but Kornbluth sees them and manages to spray Madison with the water he was carrying, exposing her as a mermaid to Allan and everyone else. Allan and Madison are quickly grabbed and taken to a government lab for testing, and when they are placed together, Allan tries to apologize for keeping it a secret but Allan doesn’t respond. When it is apparent that Allan is not a mermaid, he is dropped off back at his apartment, where reporters are waiting for him and try to get him to talk about his relationship with Madison. Freddie shows up and takes Allan out of there and as they get alone to talk, Allan starts questioning what he really felt for her and Freddie calls him out on it, reminding him how happy he was when he was with Madison. Meanwhile, Dr. Ross, Kornbluth’s rival, is heading up the research of Madison and is making plans to dissect her, which shocks Kornbluth and when he voices his objection, Ross tells him that he shouldn’t even be there as he doesn’t consider him a member of his team. Allan, realizing he does love Madison and tracks down Kornbluth to find out where she is being held. Kornbluth, who feels guilty about his role in what is happening to Madison, helps sneak Allan and Freddie into the lab by having them pose as Swedish scientists. Allan and Kornbluth then sneak Madison out of the lab, leaving Freddie there to take the heat when it is discovered she is gone. Ross has the military go recapture Madison and Kornbluth tries to delay them, saying he caused the mess, but he is unable to stop them. Allan and Madison reach the docks and Madison tells Allan that she was willing to stay with him forever. When Allan says he wishes that he could go with her, she tells him he can, telling him that she was the one who saved him as a boy, but that he would never be able to come back. When the military gets there, Allan tells Madison he loves her and she needs to leave but as she waves goodbye, he yells out to her and jumps in after her. Madison swims back to Allan and kisses him, allowing him to breathe underwater, and when some divers attempt to capture them, they quickly rip off the divers’ breathing gear then swim away. Allan takes off his jacket and kisses Madison before they swim off to an underwater kingdom.

Splash was highly praised by the critics, holding a 92% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “A perfectly light, warmly funny romantic comedy that’s kept afloat by Ron Howard’s unobtrusive direction and charming performances from Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah.” The movie was the first to be released under Walt Disney’s Touchstone Pictures label, which was created in order to release movies with more mature content that were deemed not appropriate for the flagship banner. The movie was a box office success, earning $69 million off of an $8 million budget.

This is a pretty decent movie but not one I would watch every day. The acting was good, with Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah doing a good job in their roles of Allan and Madison respectively. I also liked John Candy (Freddie) and Eugene Levy (Kornbluth), who added some pretty good comedic and serious scenes to the movie. The story was essentially a take off of “The Little Mermaid”, with the mermaid falling in love with a human and wanting to be with him, only not as depressing a tale as the original story. The special effects involving Daryl Hannah’s mermaid tail were pretty decent in the water scenes, but not as much when she was on land. It’s a decent 80’s rom-com but not my normal cup of tea.

Rating: 3 out of 5

Advertisements
Standard
comedy, horror, movie, movie review, sci-fi, The Asylum

January 17th, 2018 Movie – Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

sharknado 5

For me, one of the highlights of the summer is always Sharknado week on Syfy. This past year had several really fun movies, some of which have yet to be released on DVD, aside form today’s movie. Every year they seem to be going bigger and bigger with these movies and I enjoy every one of them but I know that the train will end up going off the rails soon. So let’s enjoy this while it lasts and have some fun with today’s movie, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming.

The plot: In a cave close by Stonehenge, Nova discovers a mural depicting a history of sharknados and contacts her team waiting above and tells them to contact Fin Shepard. Fin, along with April ad their son Gil, are in London for a meeting with NATO about the sharknado threat when Fin gets Nova’s call and goes to meet her. April and Gil are shown the secret lab where British scientist are working on anti-sharknado weapons and Gil is given a helmet that will allow him to survive inside a sharknado. Back at Stonehenge, Fin descends into the cavern and Nova shows him the mural and tells him that sharknados have appeared in the past but humanity fought back and won. An artifact called the Harness of Dakuwaqa is in the cavern and she had Fin brought there to help her get it. Making their way through the booby traps, the find the artifact and grab it but set off a chain reaction leading to the formation of a sharknado. Fin and Nova head back to London, with April saving them when their helicopter is attacked by sharks. Nova commandeers a bus and heads towards Buckingham Palace and when they get there, April flies off to try and stop Big Ben from being destroyed. Fin has Nova look after Gil while he leads the palace guards in a charge to rescue the Queen, who is trapped inside the palace, but despite Nova’s best efforts, Gil ends up being sucked up into the sharknado and disappears. When they regroup, Nova apologizes for what happened and both Fin and April are upset that she lost their son. Nova is upset with herself but receives a signal from Gil’s helmet showing he is alive and currently in Holland. Nova convinces Fin to head to the NATO meeting, as the best minds on the planet are there to discuss the sharknado problem. When another sharknado forms and attacks the meeting, Fin, April, and Nova are directed towards a specialized blimp piloted by Dr. Angel and they had out after the sharknado with Gil in it but Dr. Angel is killed and the Blimp catches fire and crashes over Switzerland. Fin, April, and Nova manage to get out before the crash and seeing some ski equipment, he hands April a ski and tells her to spin and form a vortex that will attract the sharknado that Gil is in towards them. The idea works but it also causes an avalanche and Fin, April, and Nova are forced to ski/snowboard to safety. With the sharknado moving away from them, Fin, April, and Nova get on a dog sled and use it to get close to the vortex before cutting the dogs free, allowing the sled to get sucked into the vortex. Inside, Fin and the others see Gil and try to grab him but are unable to and as Gil disappears again, Fin, April, and Nova find themselves somehow transported to Australia and surrounded by sharks. A helicopter shows up and throws a ladder down for them to climb to safety but as April tries to protect Fin, she is bitten in half by a shark. When they reach shore, Nova leads Fin towards the Sydney Opera House, which serves as the headquarters for her sharknado Sisterhood, telling him that they will be able to repair April. Nova then goes to contact her Sister in the China area overseeing the removal of the Nuclear waste from the last sharknado attack in America, as China had overtaken the project, and Fin is shocked to discover that it is his cousin Gemini, causing him and Nova to get into an argument. In the China Sea, a sharknado attacks the ship, absorbing the nuclear waste material into it. Back in Australia, the rebuilt April reunites with Fin and is told her flight systems no longer work and that if she receives to much of a charge, her circuits could overload. When they get a signal that the sharknado Gil is in is heading towards them, Nova has the Opera House transform into a battle station to defend Australia from it. Fin and April head to the bridge to try and bungee jump into the vortex to save Gil, with April secretly stealing the artifact from Nova before they leave. Fin and April manage to jump inside but are unable to grab Gil, who disappears into the vortex, and Fin and April end up transported to Brazil. They are picked up by a man named Rodolfo, who works for Nova, and he takes them to a woman named Vega so she can explain about the artifact, unaware that they are being followed by a mysterious man named Zico. At Vega’s place, she explains that the artifact could be used to summon a sharknado but that it should be returned to Stonehenge. While they are talking, Vega’s assistant grabs the artifact and hands it to Zico and when they discover it is missing, Fin and April chase after him. As the sharknado hits the city, Fin and April follow after Zico and they end up driving through the vortex and arrive in Rome. Fin and Zico start to fight but Zico ends up being killed by some sharks and the artifact is swallowed. Fin kills the shark and takes the artifact back but the sharknado disappears, leaving them with no idea what to do. April throws some coins into the Trevi Fountain and they are approached by an emissary of the Pope, who gives Fin a special chainsaw to help him save the world. Fin and April decide to try and summon the Sharknado to them so they can save Gil and they manage to grab him but a shark slams into them and they lose their grip on Gil and end up landing in Japan. As they check the montier to make sure Gil is alive, they see that the sharknado that had absorbed the nuclear material had mutated into a giant blob of sharks which the media dubs Sharkzilla. Nova and her Sisters fly over Sharkzilla and jump into it in an effort to rescue Gil, while the military fire missiles at Shakzilla to try and destroy it. The explosions disperse the blob but Gil is sucked into the vortex again while Nova falls to the street, where she ends up dying in Fin’s arms, apologizing for failing to save Gil. As more sharknados attack the world, Fin calls his son Matt, who tells him that Claudia, The Colonel, and Grandma are all dead just before he is killed as well. Fin and April end up in another sharknado and are transported to Egypt, where they discover hieroglyphics showing how the ancient Egyptians fought against sharknados. Realizing that the artifact is a key to a hidden chamber, they find the machine the Egyptians used and activate it, stopping the sharknados across the world but the machine doesn’t shut down and begins making even stronger sharknados. April notices a staff which serves as a key for the machine and tells Fin to grab it, then decides to try and absorb the excess energy from the machine in order to shut it down, sacrificing herself in order to do so. Carrying April’s head around in the hopes of being able to restore her, Fin searches for any survivors among the wreckage of the city and is approached by a man in a Humvee, who turns out to be an adult Gil. Gil explains that the sharknados had sent him back in time and he had been working on a way to get back to him, able to figure out how to use them as a time machine. Gil then says that they have to go back to the beginning in order to save April and the rest of their family so Fin gets in the Humvee and they head off.

This was another fun installment in the series but watching it now, I can admit that it felt a little weak. The acting was decent for the most part, though Tara Reid still seems bad (especially when she is screaming). I loved the cameos, with several of them being very funny (like Geraldo Rivera opening a tiny safe and finding it empty). The story honestly felt a little weak, as it felt like they were struggling to come up with a way to make the sharknados bigger and badder. I did like the nod to Indiana Jones that they had in the beginning of the movie and the obvious Back To The Future nod at the end but I felt like they could have done more with the movie then use it as a time travel gimmick. The special effects were good, and I did like the “Sharkzilla” aspect, which really made me laugh. A fun movie to watch but it does make me a little worried for how they will handle the next one.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Standard
crime, dark comedy, horror, movie, movie review

January 12th, 2018 Movie – Otis

otis

Well, we have about another week’s worth of movies that I got over Christmas and I am hoping that they keep getting better. Today’s movie is one that my friend Mark gave me. When my friend’s buy me movies, they tend to help feed my love for the completely cheesy, campy variety of movie. Mark will go along with that too but he also tends to buy me movies that are interesting or usually get better reviews than some other movies (though he did get me the Leprechaun 4-pack of movies so he is not completely without faults in this regard). Anyways, today’s movie is one of his picks and one I am looking forward to watching so let’s get started with Otis.

The plot: As an alarm wakes up a young girl named Kim, she is called by Otis, the man who has kidnapped her and has her chained in the room. Otis taunts her about what will happen that night, torturing her to get the responses he wants but Kim eventually yells at him and hangs up the phone. She then proceeds to cover up the camera’s Otis uses to watch her before going to hang herself. Otis races down to stop her only to find Kim had tricked him and she had actually pulled the chain free from the floor and uses it as a weapon to attack him. Otis tries to stop her and during the struggle, Kim falls into a bathtub and is electrocuted when a lamp falls into the water. Otis unplugs the lamp and after yelling about the 6 weeks wasted on her, he proceeds to saw her body into pieces. Some time later, Will and Kate Larson are talking about daily life while watching the news, where the Larson family is pleading for their daughter’s safe return, though the news anchor says she is most likely the latest victim of the serial killer. Meanwhile, their daughter Riley is dancing in her room in her underwear, when she notices someone watching her from the bushes outside her window. Heading out there, she discovers her brother Reed and his friend had been videotaping her and she quickly grabs the camera and takes it inside to show her parents. Sitting across from Reed, Will asks Reed what his problem is, as this is the latest in a string of incidents that he has done. When the doorbell rings announcing their food is there, Riley goes to get it and pays the delivery man, who happens to be Otis. Otis gives Riley the pizza and after she leaves, he smells the money she gave him, and a light shines on him as he has found his next victim. The next day, Will and Kate get onto Reed again about his grades and his antics at school, and he tries to deflect attention onto Riley before he leaves. Riley leaves to go to school when she is confronted by Otis, who quickly shoves a sack her into a sack and places her in his car, then knocks her out to keep her from screaming before driving away just as Riley’s parents leave the house. Riley comes too and finds herself chained to a bed and when the phone rings, she begs for help only to find it is Otis on the other end, who calls her Kim. Riley yells at him and tries to find a way out but Otis tortures her by turning the lights in the room super bright, burning her, and keeps telling her to say her name is Kim. That evening, Reed comes home to find his parents talking to a police officer and they question him about the fact that he put up pictures of Riley on the internet. Will receives a phone call from Otis, who tells him that he is dating his daughter Kim and asks for his permission to take her to prom, and says that if he plays along, his daughter will be returned to him, shocking everyone there. The next day, Otis talks to Riley, who discovers that she has been dressed in a cheerleader’s uniform, and when she refuses to say what he wants, he enters the room and yells at her to play along. Back at the Lawson’s house, the FBI are setting up to monitor any calls coming into the house so they can track the killer, informing Will and Kate that there have been 5 victims now, but Reed is more concerned that they are tearing up his room and computer than he is for his sister’s safety. Back in his lair, Otis is dressed in a football uniform and asks Riley to cheer for him when a sensor goes off and he quickly takes her back to her room and chains her to the floor, warning her to keep quiet. Otis then heads outside and is confronted by his brother Elmo, who yells at him for being late to work and the condition of their parent’s old house. When Otis asks about Kim, Elmo yells at him some more, saying Kim want’s nothing to do with him as his obsession with her has her freaked out when she caught him licking her underwear. Heading inside the house, Elmo stops when he notices a box containing his pictures of him in his football uniform and gets upset at the coach for never playing him, then chastises Otis again before leaving. That night, Otis calls the Lawson’s house again, this time talking with Kate, and the FBI attempts to trace the call. Reed tries to tell his dad that they won’t be able to save Riley, as they were unable to save the previous girls, but Will tells him to let them do their job, as they are all unaware that Otis was calling from right outside their house. Otis continues to go on pretend dates with Riley while her family continues to worry. When Otis calls the Lawson’s house again and tells Kate that he plans on having sex with Kim, Kate starts yelling out at him, surprising Reed with her venom, before Otis hangs up and Kate worries about what will happen to Riley. In his lair, Otis, calls Riley and asks if she is ready for prom, and she replies that she is and has her dressed picked out, saying everything Otis wants to hear. Otis has turned his garage into a makeshift prom and starts dancing with Riley, then puts her into the car and starts kissing her. Trying to keep from being raped, Riley tries to please Otis by giving him a hand job but when Otis ejaculates prematurely, he freaks out and drags her back into her room, and knocks her out, then leaves. As Otis heads outside, locking the shed that he keeps Riley in, he is confronted by Elmo, who asks what Otis is doing and proceeds to verbally abuse him. Meanwhile, Riley comes too and, realizing that Otis did not secure the chain to the floor, works on trying to escape. Riley uses the underwire from her bra to short out the electrified grate covering the air duct and proceeds to climb out through it and manages to escape as Elmo continues to berate Otis. Back at the Lawson’s house, they are all getting pissed off at Agent Hotchkiss, who is being too cavalier about the situation. As they talk outside, they get a call from Riley, who tells them she escaped and tells them who kidnapped her and where she was being held. Kate tells Riley to lock herself in the bathroom of the supermarket that she is at, as she will be sending an ambulance to pick her up, and then tells Riley not to repeat what she told them. After hanging up the phone, they are approached by Hotchkiss, who asks what is going on and they tell him that Riley had just called them and is okay. The Lawsons head to the hospital to see Riley before the doctor asks to speak with them. As they leave the room, Hotchkiss tries to question Riley about her kidnapper but she doesn’t tell him anything. Meanwhile, the doctor tells the Lawsons that Riley had suffered some head trauma and the hemorrhaging could cause some paralysis. That night, Will wants to let the police deal with Otis but Kate and Reed want to take justice into their own hands and convince Will to go along with them. They head to Otis’ house and wait for him to come home so they can attack him. Elmo shows up, bringing some groceries for Otis to eat and the Lawsons, mistaking him for Otis, proceed to attack him and knock him out. They then take Elmo to the garage and proceed to torture and beat him, with Will reluctantly helping them but when Kate says that Riley could be pregnant with Otis’ kid, Will gets into it. Back at the hospital, Hotchkiss is sitting in Riley’s room and when Riley wakes up, he questions her again and Riley tells him Otis’ name. Hotchkiss calls the Lawsons and tells them that Riley gave him a description of Otis and they realize that they have been torturing the wrong man. When they discover that Elmo is dead, they freak out and figure out what to do, eventually deciding to dump the body in a dumpster. When Otis returns home, he finds the mess in the garage and after trying to figure out what happened, he watches the feed from his video cameras and sees what they did to Elmo. At the hospital, Riley wakes up to find her family there and as she notices their guilty expressions, realizes they went after Otis themselves but doesn’t say anything when Hotchkiss shows up. Hotchkiss asks to speak with the Lawsons and tells them that they found Otis’ lair and how he had motion activated cameras that captured everything. As the Lawsons start feeling nervous, prompting Kate and Reed to pull out a knife and throwing star respectively. They are temporarily relieved when Hotchkiss says they cameras were facing the wrong way so they couldn’t see anything but they had the audio. Hotchkiss then says that he doesn’t plan on turning them in, only wishing that he could have gotten a piece of Otis himself. When Riley is brought home, she questions them about what happened and they admit that they killed Elmo by mistake, which horrifies Riley. As they argue about what they should do, Reed goes to get a shotgun and makes plans to kill Otis, placing an order for a pizza but Riley tells him that Otis never raped her. When the pizza gets there, Reed fires the shotgun repeatedly through the door but when the door falls off the hinges, Riley tells them that the delivery guy isn’t Otis.

This was a pretty good movie but there were some aspects that reminded me of a couple of other dark comedy’s I have watched. The acting was pretty good, with Daniel Stern (Will) and Illena Douglas (Kate) playing off each other very well as parents. I also felt that Jere Burns was rather creepy in his portrayal of FBI Agent Hotchkiss while Ashley Johnson (Riley), Jared Kusnitz (Reed), and Bostin Christopher (Otis) all did great jobs in their roles. The story was pretty good, with Otis basically reliving the glory days he felt his brother should have had, as well as living out his fantasy with his longtime crush Kim. The second half of the story, where the Lawsons decide to get some vigilante justice, was a little disturbing, but did have some humor to it to try and make it a little less gruesome. The only thing that I didn’t like was the lack of a real ending, as Otis basically just disappears and nothing else really comes of the whole situation except for Reed mistakenly killing someone else. The special effects were ok but the big thing was the dialogue, which really helped telling the story in this movie. This is a good movie and definitely well worth watching if you are a horror fan.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Standard
comedy, fantasy, horror, movie, movie review

January 11th, 2018 Movie – My Name Is Bruce

my name is bruce

Before you get confused, yes, I know that I didn’t post a review for yesterday. There were some issues and everything I had written before I went to work didn’t save for some reason so I will redo it over the weekend. Now for today’s movie, this is the last movie in the Bruce Campbell three-pack of movies I got for Christmas and honestly my favorite one out of the bunch. I remember first seeing this a couple of years ago and laughing my as off as I watched it because of it’s over-the-top antics. So let’s have some laughs with today’s movie, My Name Is Bruce.

The plot: In the town of Gold Lick, Oregon, Jeff and Clayton are heading out to the cemetery to meet up with two girls, Big Debbie and Little Debbie, and Taylor is poking fun at Jeff’s fandom of Bruce Campbell. When they get there, the two pair off with the girls and try to hook up with them, though Little Debbie seems less than open to Jeff’s advances. As he is looking around the graveyard, Jeff notices a medallion on a mausoleum and removes it, unleashing Guan Di, a Chinese war god and protector of the dead. Jeff runs back to his car, warning Clayton and the Debbies that they need to leave, but Guan Di proceeds to kill Clayton and the two Debbies so Jeff drives off and tries to figure out what to do. Elsewhere, Bruce Campbell is finishing filming Cave Alien II and after signing some autographs for some fans, he leaves the set and heads to a nearby bar. At the bar, he argues with his agent, Mills Toddner, but makes up with him after Mills says that he got him a  birthday surprise. Returning to his trailer, Bruce proceeds to get drunk to celebrate his divorce being final but then gets depressed and calls his ex-wife Cheryl, who talks with him for a few minutes before hanging up so she can fool around with Mills. Later that night, Jeff knocks on Bruce’s trailer and begs for his help in dealing with Guan Di but Bruce refuses to help so Jeff hits him over the head with a baseball bat and kidnaps him. Back in Gold Lick, Guan Di continues to kill people in town, though he spares one kid who was eating some bean curd. When Jeff arrives in town with Bruce, Bruce is upset and starts yelling about them kidnapping him but when Jeff says his agent said he was free that day, Bruce thinks the whole thing is the surprise Mills planned for his birthday and treats it as if it is another movie, though he doesn’t see any cameras or a script. Bruce starts flirting with Kelly, Jeff’s mother, as the mayor gives a presentation about the history of the town and the legend of Guan Di. Heading to Jeff and Kelly’s place to get cleaned up, Bruce then heads to the local bar, where the town throws a feast in his honor. Bruce continues to try and flirt with Kelly, who is repulsed by his actions, but the mayor talks with her and tells her to be nice as Bruce is their last hope. Kelly starts being nicer to Bruce and they end up talking and getting closer but before they kiss, the mayor shows up with some other towns people and says it’s time to go kill Guan Di. Heading to the local gun store, Bruce has the town arm themselves and they head out to face Guan Di. When the mob finally confronts Guan Di, Bruce realizes that the whole situation is real and quickly runs away, stealing a kids bike and an old lady’s car to try and escape, only to find himself back in town. Bruce eventually is able to stow away in the back of a pick-up truck heading out of town as the rest of the town chases after him, calling hima  coward. Bruce returns to his trailer only to have his dog turn on him and Cheryl has asked for an increase in alimony and filed a restraining order against him. Hearing a knock on the door, Bruce opens it to find Kasey, a singing prostitute, which was the birthday surprise Mills had gotten him. As Bruce talks with Kasey, he gets a phone call from Jeff, who thanks Bruce for forcing him to own up to his mistakes and says that since he was the one who released Guan Di, he has to be the one to stop him. Feeling guilty for letting Jeff face Guan Di on his own, Bruce has Kasey take him back to Gold Lick, where he finds Kelly burning all of Jeff’s Bruce Campbell memorabilia. Bruce apologizes to Kelly for his actions and when he tells her that Jeff when off to face Guan Di on his own, She quickly gets in her truck and Bruce hops into the back to go rescue him. When they reach the graveyard, they see Guan Di about to kill Jeff and Bruce distracts it by shooting it. As Guan Di chases after Bruce, Jeff tries to come up with an idea to stop Guan Di by reading script ideas from the various movies Bruce was in. Meanwhile, Kelly remembers the story of Guan Di and heads to Wing’s shack and steals his bean curd. Kelly throws a container of bean curd to Bruce, saying that Guan Di was also the protector of bean curd, and Bruce uses it to safely get away. They then come up with a plan to use a cardboard likeness of him to lure Guan Di back to the mine, then blow it up with the dynamite that Jeff had brought with him. Bruce distracts Guan Di with the bean curd while Jeff and Kelly set up the dynamite but Guan Di doesn’t fall for the cardboard likeness so Bruce sacrifices himself and tackles Guan Di into the mine. Jeff is hesitant to blow up the mine with Bruce still in it but Kelly convinces him that it is the right thing to do and the blow up the mine. Bruce emerges from the rubble and places the medallion onto the debris, sealing Guan Di inside, then heads over to Jeff and Kelly to celebrate only for Guan Di to reemerge and come towards them. The scene freezes, as this was all a movie, and in the viewing room, Bruce talks with Ted Raimi about the cliched ending to the movie and suggest that they give a horror movie a happy ending for once. Bruce is then shown to have married Kelly and Jeff has been accepted to Harvard. As the movie ends, Bruce breaks the 4th wall and asks if there could be a better ending, only to have Guan Di burst through the wall and attack him.

This is such a funny spoof of B-movies that is always good for a laugh. Bruce Campbell was great in this movie, as was Grace Thorsen (Kelly) and Ted Raimi, who played multiple roles including Mills, Wing, and the Italian painter that was constantly fixing the sign to display the town’s population after people were killed. The story was really funny, spoofing B-movies for their over-the-top antics and essentially poking fun at itself the entire time. One of the funnier moments was when Frank, the gun store owner (played by Timothy Patrick Quill), and a Dirt Farmer (played by Dan Hicks) and they comment about how if Jeff was going to kidnap someone, it should have been the blacksmith from Army Of Darkness or Jake from Evil Dead 2, who were played by the actors respectively. The special effects were exactly what you would expect, which made the movie even funnier when Bruce, while filming Cave Alien II, commented on it being too over-the-top. It is incredibly stupid and silly but it is a lot of laughs and well worth watching for the humor in it.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Standard
comedy, fantasy, horror, movie, movie review

January 8th, 2018 Movie – Leprechaun 4: In Space

leprechaun 4

Okay, I think we can safely say that this is where this series has jumped the shark. I remember hearing about this movie years ago, long after I thought the franchise had already ended, and thinking that it made absolutely no sense. I mean, what would a Leprechaun be doing in space, and how did he get there in the first place. Of course, I feel like this was the start of several other horror icons showing up in space; from Dracula to Jason Voorhees. Well, let’s see how good, or bad, this movie is as I watch today’s movie, Leprechaun 4: In Space.

The plot: A group of space marines are preparing to head down to a nearby planet and kill an alien that has been disrupting mining operations for the past 6 months. As Sgt. Metal Head Hooker begins briefing his men on the mission, he notices Dr. Tina Reeves in the room and questions why she is there. When she tells him she was assigned to the team as a medical/science officer, he contacts Dr. Mittenhand, the ship’s commanding officer to confirm what she said, then assigns Books Malloy to serve as her chaperone/bodyguard. Meanwhile, on the planet’s surface, the Leprechaun has captured the princess Zarina and attempts to seduce her in order to wed her and claim the throne for himself. Zarina is against the idea but the Leprechaun tempts her by offering her gold and jewels, appealing to the princess’ greed as her father had given most of his kingdom’s riches to the people, which Zarina is against as the lack of money has people calling her “common”. The marines enter the Leprechaun’s but when one of them kills an alien creature, the Leprechaun is alerted to their presence. Zarina says it is probably men sent by her father and the Leprechaun asks if she will leave with them but Zarina says she will choose to stay with the Leprechaun and his riches. When one of the marines enters the chamber and starts grabbing some of the various treasures, the Leprechaun sneaks up behind him and kills him. The rest of the marines were alerted to the dying man’s screams and rush into the chamber and begin attacking the Leprechaun, eventually killing him by blowing him up with a grenade. As Tina checks on the injured Zarina, who had lost her hand in the explosion, one of the marines, Kowalski, decides to pee on the Leprechaun’s corpse only to have the Leprechaun’s essence flow up the stream and enter his body. The marines head back to the ship and as Tina tends to Zarina’s injuries, she realizes who she is and says that helping her can improve relations with her people. Meanwhile, Metal Head is overseeing the storage of all the treasure they found in the cave when Dr. Mittenhand contacts him and says that they are to stay in orbit around the planet and act as security until a mining team arrives. Metal Head argues that their assignment ends at midnight but Mittenhand says that nobody is allowed to leave the ship before signing off. As the rest of the marines start drinking and unwinding in the ship’s cantina, Kowalski sneaks off with Delores, the only female marine, so they can have sex. As they start fooling around, Kowalski suddenly starts screaming in pain and collapses to the ground as the Leprechaun emerges from his groin. Delores checks on Kowalski but when she finds him dead, she attempts to shoot the Leprechaun but he shoots the gun out of her hand and attempts to attack her but she manages to get away. Back in the cantina, Books is talking to his friend Sticks about how he likes Tina when Delores enters the room and tells them about the Leprechaun. In the med bay, Mittenhand’s assistant Harold is examining Zarina’s body when he notices that her hand has regenerated and Mittenhand, who was observing from a viewscreen, tells him not to say anything about it to anyone. The marines and Tina head out to where Kowalski’s body is and begin searching for the Leprechaun. Metal Head has Books and Mooch check the waste disposal area and Tina warns against it, as the chamber contains flesh eating bacteria,  but when he insists, she has the men don protective suits and sends them in, keeping an eye on things from the control panel. The two split up to look for the Leprechaun but the Leprechaun slashes Mooch’s suit, exposing him to the bacteria, and Books drags him out of the chamber but is too late as Mooch is reduced to a skeleton. Metal Head and the others contact Mittenhand and tell him that since the Leprechaun just wants Zarina, they should give her to him in order to spare the rest of their lives. Mittenhand refuses and when Metal Head and the others threaten to leave, Mittenhand emerges from his hidden compartment, revealing himself to be a cyborg, with most of his body robotic parts, and manages to convince Metal Head to stay on board and kill the Leprechaun. As the Marines and Tina begin searching for the Leprechaun, Mittenhand and Harold are in Mittenhand’s secret lab, where they test some of Zarina’s blood on some of Mittenhand’s skin cells. When it grows a new finger, Mittenhand is excited and plans to use Zarina’s blood to help grow him a new body. Books and Tina locate the Leprechaun and contact Metal Head so they can help take him out but the Leprechaun attacks them, forcing them to retreat, where they meet up with Metal Head and Delores. Meanwhile, Sticks and Danny lost contact with the others and Danny decides to save himself but he encounters the Leprechaun and ends up getting killed. Back in the lab, Harold begins draining some of Zarina’s blood as Mittenhand rants about how he will be reborn and even more impressive than he is now. The marines continue searching for the Leprechaun when Delores gets cut off from the group and is confronted by the Leprechaun. She shoots the Leprechaun, seemingly blowing him up, but he quickly regenerates and knocks her off the railing, then smashes her hands until she falls to her death. The Leprechaun tracks down where Zarina is being held, then tricks Harold into opening the door so he can enter the biolab. Mittenhand confronts the Leprechaun and distracts him long enough for Harold to stab it in the back but the Leprechaun uses his magic to kill Harold, then prepares a punishment for Mittenhand. The Leprechaun rouses Zarina, who screams when she first sees him but then recognizes him and, commenting on how Mittenhand was draining her blood, asks the Leprechaun to kill him. The Leprechaun says he has something better planned and proceeds to mix up some items with Zarina’s blood, then injects it into Mittenhand’s head. The marines show up in the lab and begin shooting at the Leprechaun, who escapes with Zarina, but when they follow after them, the Leprechaun uses his magic to strap explosives to Metal Head and hold him hostage. He then takes control of Metal Head and has him escort him and Zarina to the shuttle. Books, Sticks, and Tina chase after them, not noticing that Mittenhand has disappeared. When they reach the cantina, they discover the Leprechaun has turned Metal Head into a woman and sends her to attack them, while the Leprechaun and Zarina head to the cargo hold to retrieve the Leprechaun’s gold. Meanwhile, Mittenhand is shown to have mutated and as he works on backing up his files, begins calling himself Mittenspider. The Leprechaun and Zarina reach the cargo bay and the Leprechaun places a force field around the shuttle to prevent anyone from taking it, then activates the ship’s self destruct before he starts searching for his gold. Hearing the alert for the self destruct, Books sends Sticks to cancel the self destruct but he gets trapped in Mittenspider’s web. The Leprechaun finds his gold and is upset that it has been shrunk down, then knocks out Zarina, as he has grown tired of her constant complaining. Books and Tina confront the Leprechaun and during the fight, Tina accidentally hits the Leprechaun with Mittenhand’s enlarging ray, causing him to become giant. Books tells Tina to go help Sticks while he deals with the Leprechaun and as she makes her way through the ventilation shaft, Mittenspider attacks her but she is able to get away. Tina eventually reaches the control room and sees Sticks suspended in the web but Mittenspider attacks her. She manages to kill it by freezing it with liquid nitrogen, then shooting it. Back in the cargo hold, Books finds Zarina and carries her to safety, then tells Tina to open the outer cargo bay door, causing the Leprechaun to be sucked out into space and explode. Books heads to the control room and when they try to figure out the password, Books suggest “wizard”, as Mttenhand had compared himself to the Wizard of Oz. The manage to cancel the self destruct at the last minute, and Tina and Books embrace and kiss before Sticks points their attention to the pieces of the Leprechaun, and they see one of it’s hands extend it’s middle finger towards them.

I have to admit, this wasn’t that bad of a movie as far as B-movies go. The acting was ok, with Warwick Davis doing his usual good job as the Leprechaun. The rest of the actors were ok but honestly, nobody really stood out. The story was interesting but kind of bounced around between several different themes, which made it feel sloppy at times. The biggest thing that I wished they would have explained is how the Leprechaun wound up on an alien planet in the first place. I did think the whole Mittenspider bit was a little much but got a kick out of the nod to The Fly when he starts saying “Help me!” before Tina shoots him. Unfortunately, the special effects were a little weak but they kind of added to the slight charm of the movie. It’s not the worst cheap B-movie out there but it can be a little entertaining to watch.

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5

Standard
comedy, fantasy, horror, movie, movie review

January 7th, 2018 Movie – Leprechaun 3

leprechaun 3

So everyone’s favorite homicidal leprechaun has found himself relegated out of theaters and in the video stores. To be honest, I am not that surprised about that, because that seems to be the way for many horror and sci-fi movies that spawn multiple sequels. What does surprise me is that this was the highest selling direct-to-video movie of 1995. That absolutely blows my mind and actually makes me curious to see just what I am getting with today’s movie, Leprechaun 3.

The plot: In Las Vegas, a terrified one-armed, one-eyed, one-legged man enters a pawn shop with a large sack and tells the shop owner, Gupta, he needs money to get out of town. Gupta opens the sack to reveal a strange statue with a medallion around it’s neck. The man tells Gupta the statue is a “good luck charm” and warns him not to remove the medallion. Gupta pays the man $20 and after he leaves, Gupta takes the medallion off of the statue and examines it. Thinking it is cheap junk, Gupta puts the medallion around his neck and turns around to find the statue is gone and a pot of gold is sitting on his counter in it’s place. As Gupta goes to examine the gold, the Leprechaun, which had been imprisoned in the statue, jumps on his back and bites his ear. Claiming Gupta to be a greedy thief after his gold, the Leprechaun knocks him down and bites off one of his toes but when he goes to kill Gupta, Gupta holds up the medallion and the Leprechaun backs away. Telling Gupta to keep it away from him, the Leprechaun grabs his pot of gold and heads down into the basement, not noticing one piece of gold falling out of the pot as he leaves, and Gupta quickly locks the door behind him. Meanwhile, Scott McCoy is driving into town and as he stares at all of the lights, he almost hits a woman named Tammy Larsen, who was trying to hitch a ride to work due to car trouble. After checking to see what was wrong with her car, Scott offers her a ride to the Lucky Shamrock casino where she works and the two start talking. Back at the pawn shop, Gupta looks up leprechauns online and decides to try and kill it and keep the gold for himself. As he heads to the basement, he finds the shilling and pockets it, missing the computer saying that he gets a wish for each piece of Leprechaun gold he possesses. In the basement, the Leprechaun realizes he is missing a shilling and hides his pot inside Gupta’s safe, then makes plans to find his missing gold. When Gupta enters the basement, the Leprechaun uses a statue to attack him but when he goes to finish him off, Gupta shoves the medallion in the Leprechaun’s mouth, then makes his way out of there as the Leprechaun recoils in pain. Back at the casino, Tammy thanks Scott for the ride and he asks her to help sneak him inside, as he is not 21 yet, and she reluctantly agrees. As Scott wanders around the casino, Tammy gets ready for work as a magicians assistant but when the magician, Fazio, says he wants to try a new act involving setting the box Tammy is in on fire, the casino owner, Mitch, nixes the idea and then demotes Fazio, wanting Tammy to end up being the headliner. Back in the casino, Scott gets dazzled by all of the gambling going on and decides to take his cashier check for tuition and housing and use it to start gambling. Back at the pawn shop, Gupta tries to make a bargain with the Leprechaun, giving him the medallion in exchange for half of his gold, but when Gupta relinquishes the medallion, the Leprechaun kills him. Back at the casino, Scott loses all of his money and Loretta, the table runner, tells him to go to the pawn shop and pawn his grandfather’s watch so he can try to win his money back. Scott heads to the pawn shop only to find it a mess and Gupta lying dead behind the counter. Scott calls the police and as he hangs up, he notices the shilling on the computer and picks it up, waking the computer from sleep mode. When the computer talks about getting a wish from a piece of gold, Scott wishes he was back at the casino on a winning streak and he is transported back there, just before the Leprechaun can kill him. At the casino, Scott is confused but finds himself on a winning streak, despite Loretta’s efforts to rig the table against him. Eventually, the owner shuts the table down and comps Scott a room at the casino, hoping to win back some of Scott’s money later that night or the next day. Scott runs into Tammy and tells her what happened and she is upset that he gambled but when Scott says he wants to split his winnings with her, she tells him to head up to his room and she will meet him after her show. The Leprechaun tracks down Scott and enters the casino, playing a trick on Fazio as he passes by him. When Fazio goes to speak with Loretta, she points out Scott and tells him his winning streak and asks that he steal the gold coin he uses as a good luck charm. In his room, Scott is getting cleaned up when Fazio sneaks into his room and steals the shilling, then punches Scott when he tries to stop him before quickly leaving. As Scott stares at the doorway, the Leprechaun appears with Scott’s room service order and demands his shilling. The Leprechaun proceeds to bite Scott and Scott grabs a knife and stabs the Leprechaun in the head, then throws him out the window. Unfortunately, some of the Leprechaun’s blood mixes with Scott’s blood and begins turning him into a Leprechaun. Back in the casino, Fazio meets up with Loretta and tells her he got the coin but didn’t get the money and Loretta grabs the coin from him as Mitch shows up and tells Fazio to get to work. Seeing the gold coin, Mitch grabs it from Loretta and they start arguing, Mitch wishes that Tammy would sleep with him. Tammy, who is nearby, is suddenly overcome with lust and approaches Mitch, saying she wants to sleep with him, and Mitch quickly leaves with her and heads to his room. Realizing that the coin’s powers work by wishing for something, Loretta sneaks up to Mitch’s room and steals the coin from him, then quickly leaves the room. With the coin no longer in his possession, Tammy comes to her senses and attacks him, then quickly gathers her clothes and leaves as Mitch fires her. As Mitch tries to comfort himself, the Leprechaun sneaks into his room and uses his magic to make a dream girl for Mitch, which comes out of the TV and starts seducing him. Meanwhile, Scott begins randomly speaking in random limericks and craving potatoes. When Scott spots Loretta and asks if she has seen Tammy, she tells him she is in Mitch’s office and a jealous Scott starts to head up there only to encounter a crying Tammy in the elevator. Scott asks her what’s wrong and she says nothing that hasn’t happened before only she was fired and asks him to forget it but Scott refuses, saying that if they don’t do something then Mitch will just do it again to someone else and Tammy goes with Scott up to Mitch’s office. Back in the office, Mitch realizes the girl he is making out with is actually a robot and he is electrocuted. When Scott and Tammy enter the office and see the body, they are confronted by the Leprechaun but Scott throws a bust at it and they escape out the fire escape just as two mobsters that Mitch owes money too enter the room. The mobsters go to confront the Leprechaun but the Leprechaun quickly kills them, then senses his shilling and smells Loretta’s perfume, heading off to find her. Outside, Tammy asks what they are going to do about everything but Scott begins going through some more changes and asks Tammy to help him. Back at the casino, Loretta wishes that she had her younger body back and once her wish is granted, she goes to show it off to Fazio. Explaining what happened to him, Fazio quickly grabs the coin and runs out of the room, then wishes for himself to be the world’s greatest magician. Back in the dressing room, Loretta continues to admire her new body when the Leprechaun appears and begins inflating her chest, lips, and butt. Loretta tries to escape but her widened proportions cause her to get stuck in the door and she ends up exploding. Scott and Tammy head to the pawn shop to see if there is anything there to help them deal with the Leprechaun. When Tammy picks up the medallion, Scott recoils in horror and tells her to put it away. Scott then tells her something is calling out to him and he finds the pot of gold. Tammy says they should destroy it so they can kill the Leprechaun but Scott, becoming more like a Leprechaun, tells her they can’t destroy it. Tammy manages to slap Scott to his senses just as the Leprechaun appears and tries to kill them but they manage to get away and Tammy takes Scott to the hospital, stopping to grab the medallion on the way out. In the hospital, Scott begins changing more and more and is placed into isolation as doctors try to treat him. Sensing Scott turning into another Leprechaun and not wanting any competition for his gold, the Leprechaun makes his way to the hospital to kill him. Tammy gets paged down to the morgue and when she gets there, she finds the mortician dead and is captured by the Leprechaun. Meanwhile, the doctors discover Scott’s money and decide to spend order more needless tests on him but Scott comes too and uses his magic to subdue the doctors and as he gathers his money, he senses the Leprechaun and heads out to confront him. In the morgue, the Leprechaun asks Tammy about his shilling and when she says she doesn’t have it, he threatens to cut off her nose but Scott stops him and the two confront each other but Scott manages to free Tammy and she chases off the Leprechaun with the medallion. The Leprechaun heads to the casino to get the shilling from Fazio, as Scott told him who took the shilling, and Tammy and Scott follow to try and stop him. Fazio is in the middle of an act when the Leprechaun appears and traps Fazio in a box and proceeds to saw him in half. Scott and Tammy show up and tell the crowd to get out of there and Tammy tries to grab the coin but the Leprechaun grabs her. Scott threatens the Leprechaun with a flamethrower and the Leprechaun tries to reason with him, offering the pot of gold if Scott will join him. Tammy pleads with Scott not to listen and Scott turns the flamethrower on the gold, destroying it and causing the Leprechaun to burst into flames and be killed. Scott is returned to normal and Tammy kisses him and as they leave, she reveals that she had grabbed the last shilling, Scott says it is her call if she wants to use it but Tammy says she already has everything she could want and tosses the coin away as the two embrace and head out of town.

I don’t think the luck of the Irish could have helped make this movie more entertaining. The good news is that it isn’t any worse than the last movie, but that really isn’t saying much. Warwick Davis did a really good job in his role this time around and really seemed to be having fun with the character. Unfortunately, John Gatins (Scott) and Lee Armstrong (Tammy) were both kind of boring as the leads in the movie, with Marcelo Tubert (Gupta) and Caroline Williams (Loretta) making for much more intersting characters. The story was kind of interesting and I liked having it set in Las Vegas, as there is probably no better symbolic location of greed than Vegas. I will say that the whole bit about Scott turning into a leprechaun seemed stupid and honestly felt like it was basically a way to add some more time to the movie. The special effects left a lot to be desired and I am going to chalk that up to the fact that this had a limited budget due to being direct-to-video. It is a bit of mindless time killing entertainment but there are probably better things to wast your time with.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Standard
comedy, fantasy, horror, movie, movie review

January 6th, 2018 Movie – Leprechaun 2

leprechaun 2

As much of a fan of horror movie that I was back in my teenage years, and I admit I am still a fan now as an adult, I will admit that this one completely slipped by me when it was in theaters. Then again, I was only moderately impressed with the original Leprechaun so I don’t think it is that much of a slight on me to not catch this one. Anyways, I remember catching glimpses of this movie every now and then on late night TV back in the day but never really got around to watching the entire movie in one sitting. I guess it is fortunate that my friend decided to get me the 4-pack of the first 4 Leprechaun movies for Christmas. So lets see how good of a movie I am in store for with today’s movie, Leprechaun 2.

The plot: On March 17th, 1894, a man named William O’Day is running through the woods when he is suddenly choked and dropped to the ground. A Leprechaun appears and taunts him, as he has placed a magic collar on O’Day as punishment for trying to steal the Leprechaun’s gold. The Leprechaun tells him that as this is his 1000 birthday, he is able to choose any woman to be his bride when the chosen girl sneezes three times and says that once he is wed, he will grant O’Day his freedom. O’Day agrees to help the Leprechaun obtain his bride but when he sees the girl the Leprechaun chose, he is horrified to discover it is his own daughter. O’Day begs the Leprechaun to choose someone else but the Leprechaun begins blowing through the underbrush, causing the girl to sneeze twice. When she sneezes a third time, O’Day says “God bless you, my child.” and attempts to run but the Leprechaun stops him. He says that since O’Day stopped him from marrying his daughter, he has cursed his family and on his 2000th birthday, he will marry his descendant, then proceeds to kill O’Day. 1000 years later in Los Angeles, Bridget meets up with her boyfriend Cody, who works as a barker for a death-themed tour company run by his uncle/guardian Morty. The two plan on spending the afternoon together but when they find Morty drunk at a bar, Cody is forced to give the tour, bringing an unhappy Bridget along with him. As they go through the tour, they pass a homeless man, who happens to scare the tourists, but when the homeless man lays down by a tree, his whiskey bottle is mysteriously dragged into the tree. The man sees this and goes to grab it back only to be attacked by the Leprechaun, who notices the man’s gold tooth and grabs it from his mouth to add to his own collection. Back on the tour, Cody stops at the Go-Kart track where they were supposed to meet with their friends and Bridget gets out and storms inside, with Cody trying to follow after her. Bridget is greeted by Ian, the manager, who starts flirting with her and has someone cover his shift so he can hang out with her. When Cody enters, Ian mocks him as Cody tries to talk to Bridget and he promises that things will be different next time but Bridget tells him there won’t be a next time and walks off. A dejected Cody ends up running a red light and getting pulled over by the police and arrested for driving without a license. Morty heads down to pick up Ian and as they are leaving, they see the homeless man being brought in, telling the cops he was attacked by a leprechaun. Later that night, Ian drops off Bridget at her house and tries to convince her to invite him in but she refuses. As he is leaving, he suddenly hears Bridget calling out to him from the garage. Bridget says she is sorry and wants to make it up to him and begins removing her shirt but as Ian approaches her, it is revealed to be a trick by the Leprechaun and Ian ends up being killed by the overturned lawnmower the Leprechaun’s magic had made to look like Bridget. Meanwhile, Cody heads to Bridget’s house and brings her some flowers to apologize and as they talk, they don’t notice the Leprechaun sneaking into the house. The Leprechaun makes Bridget start sneezing and when she sneezes the third time, Cody goes to say “God bless you” but the Leprechaun causes the phone cord to wrap around his neck, stopping him. As the Leprechaun appears, Cody is able to cut himself free and confronts him but the Leprechaun drops a pot rack on him, knocking him out. Bridget tries to run and call for help but the Leprechaun says he is claiming her as his bride, tossing a gold collar around her neck. When the Leprechaun uses his magic to bring her closer to him, she knocks over his pot of gold. As the Leprechaun goes to gather his gold, a gold coin rolls along the floor into Cody’s hand, rousing him from unconsciousness. Bridget helps Cody up and they try to run but the Leprechaun knocks Cody down and grabs Bridget again. Cody throws a fire poker at the Leprechaun and the iron burns his hand when he catches it but he quickly disappears with Bridget. The Leprechaun takes Bridget to the tree where ‘he has made his home and reveals that Bridget is a descendant of O’Day. As he turns his back on Bridget and fixes a drink, she knocks him over the head with a rock and tries to run, only to find the skeleton of O’Day. The Leprechaun appears and uses his magic to wrap her in a blanket and take her to her bed. As he stands over her, he tells her that he must make some changes to her body to enable her to bear his children. As he tries to tempt her with his gold, the Leprechaun realizes he is missing a gold shilling and quickly gathers it all back into his pot. The Leprechaun plans on leaving to find his gold and Bridget begs him to let her loose, saying she want’s to look pretty for him when he gets back so the Leprechaun frees her and hands her a red dress to wear when he returns, then licks her face before leaving. At Bridget’s house, the police are there investigating Ian’s death and have found the note from Cody when he brought the flowers to Bridget but the Leprechaun grabs the note and heads off to Cody’s place. Meanwhile, Cody sees the cops talking to Morty and sneaks inside their apartment after they leave so he can talk to Morty. Morty doesn’t believe Cody’s story, despite Cody showing him the gold shilling, but the Leprechaun shows up and attacks them. Cody offers the Leprechaun the shilling back in exchange for Bridget and the Leprechaun agrees but Morty knocks a bookcase onto him, saying you can’t trust a leprechaun, and they escape out the fire escape, with the Leprechaun unable to follow due to the wrought iron bars on the window. Cody and Morty head to the bar to hide and while Cody uses the restroom, he is approached by a little person dressed as a leprechaun, who offers him one of his chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil. Noticing the little person’s gold tooth, Cody remembers the homeless man’s story at the police station and goes to tell Morty that he knows where Bridget is but Morty tells him the Leprechaun is here, pointing to the end of the bar. The Leprechaun sits next to them and demands his coin, mocking Cody’s demand to return Bridget by saying she is a married woman. Morty attempts to trick the Leprechaun by having a drinking contest with him but while the Leprechaun is drinking liquor, Morty is actually drinking soda and water. The Leprechaun becomes to drunk to properly use his magic and Morty grabs him but the Leprechaun is able to turn on the jukebox, distracting Morty enough to allow the Leprechaun to hit him over the head with a bottle and escape. Meanwhile, Bridget keeps trying to find a way out of the Leprechaun’s lair but his magic makes the place like an unending maze, where she constantly appears back in the main chamber. She eventually finds a box buried in the ground and retrieves an awl, which she keeps to use against the Leprechaun when he returns. The Leprechaun heads to a coffee bar to sober up but when the manger tries to get him to pay his bill, the Leprechaun thinks he is after his gold and kills him. Cody gets an idea and they head to the go-kart place, which has a wrought-iron safe, and make plans to capture the Leprechaun. When a security guard captures Morty, Morty is able to knock him out but is then attacked  by the Leprechaun. Cody calls out to the Leprechaun and when he goes through the doggy door after him, he ends up entering the safe, which Cody had placed in front of the opening. Cody quickly closes the door but when he goes to get some two-by-fours to help load it into the car, Morty locks him inside the storage closet. Morty then yells that since he captured the Leprechaun, he gets three wishes and uses his first wish to wish for the Leprechaun’s pot of gold. The Leprechaun fulfills the wish, but causes the pot of gold to appear inside Morty’s stomach. Scared to die from the gold inside him, Morty uses his second wish to free the Leprechaun and his third to wish the gold out of his stomach and the Leprechaun proceeds to rip open his stomach to get his gold back. Cody breaks free of the storage room but is arrested by a police officer for Morty’s death. As he is being taken to the police car, they hear a girls voice coming from the go-kart track and Cody tries to warn him but the police officer heads out there and ends up being killed by the Leprechaun in a modified go-kart. When the Leprechaun tries to kill Cody, he can’t and Cody realizes that the Leprechaun’s magic won’t hurt him as long as he has the shilling and heads off to rescue Bridget. The Leprechaun returns to his lair to prepare for Cody’s arrival and Bridget tries to seduce him and when he is distracted, stabs him with the awl but, since it is not made of wrought iron, it breaks and the Leprechaun has her tied up by some tree roots. Meanwhile, Cody reaches the tree and heads inside but ends up being attacked by O’Day’s skeleton. Cody manages to free himself and finds Bridget, who had used the awl to remove the collar from her neck, and the two try to get out of the lair, with the Leprechaun chasing after them. When the continue to find themselves in the main lair, Cody comes up with an idea when he gets separated from Bridget. When he goes looking for her, he finds her and she tells him that she found a way out. Cody wants to leave but Bridget says that he should leave the coin, as that is what the Leprechaun wants, kissing him to try and convince him. Cody hands Bridget the coin but she transforms into the Leprechaun and mocks him for giving him the coin. The real Bridget begs him not to hurt Cody but the Leprechaun uses his powers to toss Cody away. Bridget runs to Cody and says that he killed him and the Leprechaun goes to take Bridget away but Cody sits up and throws the iron poker he was carrying into the Leprechaun’s chest. He then reveals that the coin he gave the Leprechaun was the chocolate coin from the bar and Cody and Bridget quickly leave as the Leprechaun explodes. Outside the tree, Bridget asks Cody how he knew it wasn’t her and Cody says that the fake Bridget kissed different than her, then tosses the shilling away, saying it isn’t worth the trouble, as he and Bridget leave.

Leprechaun 2 was absolutely panned by the critics, holding a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While there isn’t a critical consensus on the site, most of the critics felt that it added nothing new to the original movie, which they felt was lacking to begin with. Despite the theme of the franchise, this is the only movie in the series to actually take place during St. Patrick’s Day. The movie made $2.3 million at the box office and would be the last one to be given a theatrical release, as subsequent sequels would be relegated to direct to video status.

Ok, this was boring with a capital BOR. I honestly taking a nap while watching this movie because there wasn’t really much going for it. The acting was ok, with Warwick Davis doing a good job reprising his role as the Leprechaun and I actually liked Sandy Baron as Morty. However, the two leads of Charlie Heath (Cody) and Shevonne Durkin (Bridget) were just boring. The story added a slight twist regarding the whole marriage aspect but for the most part, it was still the Leprechaun going after a missing piece of his gold. The one thing I did like was that they added the whole iron being anathema to members of the Fey race, which includes leprechauns. The special effects didn’t seem as good as the original movie and just looked overly weak at best. Chalk up one more victim to the “Sequel’s Curse” and just avoid this one.

Rating: 2 out of 5

Standard