So in 2012, we had the fun movie that that proposed an interesting tale of Abraham Lincoln fighting vampires. Now had they been the stupid emo glittery kind of vampires, that movie would have made a fortune at the box office but alas, they did not think of that. Now to be honest, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter sounds like an Asylum film all on it’s own but it wasn’t, yet the idea for a mockbuster was definitely worth looking into and there is only one classic monster villain that would be able to compete against vampires. So that leads us to today’s movie, Abraham Lincoln Vs Zombies.
The plot: One night, Nancy and Thomas Lincoln are running through the woods at night when they are attacked by zombies and one of them bites Nancy before Thomas kills it and they continue their escape. Sometime later, young Abraham Lincoln is chopping firewood when he hears a gunshot. Racing inside the house, he sees that his dad shot himself as he was unable to kill his wife, who was strapped to the bed so she couldn’t infect anyone else. Lincoln picks up a nearby scythe and approaches his mom, saying he loved her before swinging the scythe and taking off her head. Years later, Lincoln is making plans to head to Gettysburg, to speak at memorial event but Mary Todd has reservations about his going. Later, Edwin Stanton meets with Lincoln and tells him that the mission to take Fort Pulaski had failed and of the 30 men who had gone, only one man, Eckert, had returned and he seemed to have been driven mad by the experience. Lincoln, accompanied by Stanton and two members of his secret service, questions Eckert, who tells them that they were attacked by walking dead who proceeded to eat their flesh. After leaving the room, Lincoln orders a squad of 12 secret service agents to go to Fort Pulaski and find out what is going on and, if possible, take control of the fort in order to prevent the spread of an infection that is worse than any disease they ever faced. Suddenly, Eckert breaks free from his restraints and though he is shot twice in the chest, he doesn’t die and proceeds to kill one of the secret service agents. Lincoln attacks Eckert and cuts off his head, then proceeds to tell Stanton that he will lead the mission to Fort Pulaski, and Stanton is to not let anyone, including Mary Todd, know that he has left the capital. After taking a train as far as they can go, Lincoln and his men stop for a briefing, where he tells them about the success of their blockade against the Confederacy and that capturing the fort is vital. Reaching the fort, the make their way inside and soon come under fire from the Confederate soldiers inside the fort. When one of the secret service agents notices a soldier stumbling behind them, he approaches the soldier only to be attacked and is bitten in the face. Lincoln beheads the zombie and then shoots the wounded agent, causing his men close by to question what he is doing. Lincoln orders the gate closed but when one of his men tries to do it, he is shot by the Confederate soldiers, and more zombies enter the fort and begin feeding on him. As the secret service begin dealing with the zombies, Lincoln tells his men to shoot them in the head as he kills another zombie attacking another of his men. Regrouping, Lincoln explains to his men that if they are bitten, scratched, or have any of the infected blood get into their mouths or eyes, they will become infected and in 24 hours, be turned just like those people are. Splitting up, 2 men manage to secure the gates while Lincoln and the others search for the Confederate soldiers. They soon find them hiding in a cellar, under the command of General Stonewall Jackson, and Lincoln convinces him to surrender. Jackson asks Lincoln to explain his actions in murdering unarmed civilians and though Lincoln tries to convince him that they were no longer human, Jackson insists that they were merely sick and needed medical help. Jackson refuses to help secure the fort so Lincoln orders him to be imprisoned and then he and his men secure the fort and make plans on what to do next. Deciding to try and send word for help, Lincoln leads a group of men into town to try and use the telegraph at the train station. making their way quietly into town, the reach the station and two agents, Pike and John Wilkinson, head inside to see if telegraph works. They spot the telegraph and Pike goes to see if it still works when he is attacked and killed by Zombies. Wilkinson runs for it and tells Lincoln, who orders his men to retreat. They take shelter in a house when suddenly, one of his men is shot in the leg from someone hiding in the cellar. Wilkinson and the other agent head downstairs to confront the shooters, which turns out to be two women. When Lincoln goes downstairs, he recognizes one of the women as Mary, who slaps him as she recognizes him and as he goes to bring his wounded man for treatment, she explains to her daughter that she knows Lincoln and they were once in love. As Mary and her daughter treat the wounded man, Mary introduces her daughter Sophia, Annika (a young woman that works for Mary), and Teddy Roosevelt (a young boy who they took in). Lincoln and one of his men create a diversion while the others sneak out the back and head towards the fort. Reaching the fort, Annika is bitten before she can get inside and is shot by Agent Brown, who is keeping watch at the fort. Inside the fort, Wilkinson starts questioning Lincoln, and some of the agents are turning to his side. Meanwhile, Lincoln takes Mary with him as he speaks with Jackson, who is upset about Lincoln bringing a prostitute (Mary) into the fort but Lincoln says they have more important matters to discuss. Taking Jackson to see the “prisoner” that he has locked up, Lincoln informs those present that he had faced this disease once before as a child and they were forced to kill every infected member of his town in order to prevent the disease’s spread. Jackson refuses to help Lincoln but another Confederate soldier, Pat Garret, tells Lincoln of a nearby plantation where they can get tools to make into weapons and agrees to lead Lincoln there. When Lincoln asks for volunteers, Wilkinson and some other men refuse to go but Mary and Sophia and Teddy agree to go with the few men that do volunteer. Reaching the plantation, they head into the barn and start grabbing tools but as they are leaving, a rooster crows and they are forced to run from the zombies. Finding themselves corners in the woods, the group starts fighting and Mary ends up getting some zombie blood on her face but before they are overrun, they are saved by Wilkinson and some of the agents from the fort. Reaching the safety of the fort, Lincoln tries to comfort Mary about what will happen to her while the rest of the men work on sharpening the weapons from the plantation. The next day, Lincoln discusses the strategy about killing as many of the zombies that they can in the nearby town but Wilkinson refuses to take part so Lincoln leaves him along with some other agents to guard the fort while he takes the other agents, as well as Garret, Sophia, and Teddy, to fight the zombies. In the fort, Wilkinson goes to see the zombie prisoner and recognizing him as a former friend, goes inside the cell and begins telling the zombie that he is really a secret agent and sets him free but when the zombie attacks him, he is forced to kill it. Back in town, the agents are slowly picked off, leaving Lincoln, Garret, Sophia, and Teddy the only survivors to make it back to the fort. Inside the fort, Lincoln is praying for what he did and Wilkinson is about to kill him but stops and walks away, saying that if he killed while he prayed it would surely send his soul to Heaven. Garret speaks with Jackson and manages to convince him that what Lincoln is doing is what’s best for not just the Confederacy, but the country as a whole and Jackson speaks with Lincoln and shows him a hidden stash of gunpowder, as well as tells him of secret tunnels they can use to escape. Coming up with a plan, they prepare to lure the zombies into the fort and then blow up the gunpowder in order to kill them all. However, the fuse is extinguished and so Jackson decides to sacrifice himself to relight the fuse, with Lincoln and Agent Brown barely managing to escape before the blast. As the other survivors emerge from the escape tunnel, they are joined by Lincoln and Brown, and Wilkinson storms off at hearing that Jackson had died. Mary, knowing that she will soon turn herself, decides to go with Lincoln to die and says goodbye to Sophia. Lincoln heads up to Gettysburg to deliver the Gettysburg address and 18 months later, he heads to a secret barn where Mary has been kept alive so doctors can study the disease. As Lincoln tends to Mary, she scratches his arm and he is forced to kill her. The doctor wants to tend to Lincoln but he instead asks for a pen and paper, then sends the doctor with a message to Wilkinson, who Lincoln knows is really John Wilkes Booth, telling him where he will be that evening, thereby setting the stage for his assassination so that he will not spread the disease.
I know it is a mockbuster and I know it is a B-Movie but guess what, I liked this movie better than the big budget movie. Bill Oberst Jr, did a great job as Abraham Lincoln, much better than Benjamin Walker did, and I was also impressed with Jason Vail (Wilkinson/Booth) and how he portrayed him. The story was interesting and did have a couple of historical inaccuracies, primarily the fact that Stonewall Jackson had died before the battle of Gettysburg and that Teddy Roosevelt and Pat Garret were much younger than the ages portrayed in the film. I did like how the ended the movie, with Lincoln getting infected and setting up his own death in order to preserve the country, as well as letting John Wilkes Booth finish his mission. The special effects were fairly low budget as you would expect but the makeup involved with the zombies was really good so that did help matters. I’m not saying everyone will like it but if you want to watch Abraham Lincoln fight monsters, than this movie put more effort into being entertaining with a much smaller budget.
Rating: 3 out of 5
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