action, comedy, movie, movie review, sports

Flashback Review: June 17th, 2014 Movie – Cannonball Run II

cannonball run 2

Yes, I know I am late with this one. Unfortunately, I had a long day at work yesterday and had started to watch the movie when I was asked to help on a service call that night in exchange for not having to go in today, which I accepted. Anyways, today’s movie is one of the numerous sequels that had come out in the 80’s. I remember seeing Cannonball Run II as a kid, and thinking it was really funny. After rewatching it, I realized that I was mixing parts of The Cannonball Run with this movie in my memory, which was kind of disappointing. Now let’s go through and sort out my memories.

The plot: One year after losing the Cannonball Run, Sheik Abdul ben Falafel is chastised by his father for bringing shame to their family, as they are known for having the fastest of everything. The king orders him to go back to America and win the Cannonball Run this year but when the Sheik says there isn’t a Cannonball Run this year, the king tells him to just buy one. In America, Jill Rivers and Marcie Thatcher are still racing along the highways in a Lamborghini, this time it starts off as white but after dodging a couple of cops, they have a construction crew spray off the white paint to reveal the car is actually red and continue heading on the highway towards the start of the Cannonball. Meanwhile, J.J. McClure and Victor Prinzim are working as stuntmen and Victor is set to act as a human bomb, with J.J. convincing him that everything will be fine but if he is scared, he can always have “Him” do the stunt. J.J. walks off but as he hears the newscaster talking about how famous Victor will be for pulling off the stunt, he decides to take Victor’s place, only to find Victor has changed into Captain Chaos. After convincing Captain Chaos to let him do the stunt, J.J. goes through with it but the bomb drops early and skips across the parking lot, through a Winnebago and a jet, before finally crashing through the target, the net, and into the hay behind them. Victor rushes over with the paramedics and as J.J. exits the bomb, Victor says they can do that 10 times a day and be billionaires quickly, then starts ripping up the Sheik’s invitation to the Cannonball but J.J. chastises him for the idea. As some of the other former Cannonballers head out to California to start the race, Morris Fenderbaum owes $30,000 to Don Don, the son of Mafia Kingpin Don Canneloni. Don Don’s men head to the hotel and confront Fenderbaum and JAmie King about the money and Fenderbaum tells them that they are in the Cannonball Run and the prize is $1 million. As the mobsters question who would sponsor such a race, the Sheik walks in and sees Fenderbaum and Jamie and greets them. Fenderbaum tries to point out the men with guns but the Sheik sees the men’s shoes and gives them a pile of cash, telling them to buy a shoe store to get some better shoes. Meanwhile, Don Don is visited by Hymie Kaplan, another gangster who is friends with Don Canneloni. Hymie is there to collect the money that Don Don owes him, which totals over $9 million, but Don Don doesn’t have that much money on him so Hymie tells him he has until tomorrow to get the money. As the race is getting ready to start, Mel and his cousin Tony head to their Uncle Cal’s auto dealership to get a car. He tells them that he will let them use his promotional limousine so long as they take his orangutan with them, which acts as the limo’s driver. Meanwhile, J.J. and Victor are at a diner talking about what they would do with the prize money when they are approached by Betty and Veronica, two women who are dressed as nuns as part of “The Sound Of Music” show that they are part of but have grown tired of working the small time and decided to try and latch onto them, thinking they are rich. Victor believes the ladies are really nuns and agrees to let them sit with them and they talk briefly before Betty and Veronica leave. At the race’s starting line, J.J. and Victor show up dressed as an Army General and Private respectively, driving a souped up car from a military motor pool. They are approached by Betty and Veronica, who ask them for a lift to New York and Victor convinces J.J. to let them come. As they head to the car, they run into Fenderbaum and Jamie, who are dressed as cops, and after taunting J.J. and Victor, they tell the nuns that their disguise won’t work, as they tried it last year as priests, but J.J. tells them that they are real nuns. The Sheik gives a speech and then starts the race and Victor, changing into Captain Chaos, tells J.J. he will get him the win, then tells Betty to sit up front with him and let Veronica sit with J.J. in the back. As the race commences, Don Don tells his men to kidnap the Shiek so they can use him to get the money he owes Hymie and they attempt to kidnap him during the race, first using a car with pincers to grab onto the Sheik’s bumper and then using a helicopter with a magnet underneath it, but both attempts fail. Meanwhile, J.J. and Victor both find themselves attracted to Veronica and Betty respectively, while both “nuns” have been somewhat flirting with the men, but as Victor asks about their order again, Betty says it has been a long day and they should get some sleep now, pulling up a curtain between the front and back seats. The next day, they are pulled over and the sheriff doesn’t seem to buy the story J.J. and Victor are telling him. When the sheriff’s nephew, Pvt. Homer Lyle, shows up on his 3-day leave, J.J. tell him he is being drafted to drive their car to Connecticut and Lyle agrees. The sheriff wants to call it in but as he heads to his car, Betty and Veronica lean out the window and tell the sheriff that their mission is very important and he believes them. The sheriff offers them an escort to the county line and as they are getting in their cars, J.J. tells him to look out for two men dressed as cops driving a Corvette, telling him that they are Commies, and the sheriff puts the word out, but Fenderbaum and Jamie have a police scanner in their car and realize J.J. is trying to set them up again. They manage to cause the police chasing them to crash, then catch up to J.J.’s car and make them spin out. While Jill and Marcie continue burning out their cars and swindling people out of their sports cars, Mel and Tony take turns driving the car but when the orangutan ends up in the back with Tony and starts acting up, Tony goes up front with Mel, saying it is safer, leaving the orangutan to actually drive the car. Team Mitsubishi, the giant Arnold and his mechanic Jackie, stop at an open fruit/vegetable market, where Jackie proceeds to beat up the bikers that are harassing the owners. When the owners’ daughter invites Jackie to dinner, Jackie starts to accept but Arnold grabs him and says they have a race to finish. Elsewhere, J.J.’s group stop for gas and food and Betty and Veronica take the time to change out of their nun costumes, much to the surprise of J.J., Victor, and Homer. Realizing that they were played, J.J. smirks and tells Veronica to get in the car, where they proceed to start kissing, and a short while later they leave Homer on the side of the road, thanking him for his service. Jill and Marcie’s second car breaks down and when the tow truck operator keeps staring at them instead of the car, they end up taking his tow truck when he tells them the engine in it, and the driver as well. As more hijinks with the Cannonballers occur, Don Don’s men manage to capture the Sheik and take him to the Pinto Ranch. When the Cannonballers find out, Fenderbaum is forced to admit that they owe the Canneloni family money but suggests they go see the King for help. They head back to Las Vegas, where they meet with Frank Sinantra, and after explaining the situation to him, he helps them come up with a way to get into the ranch. J.J., Victor, and Fenderbaum disguise themselves as belly dancers, with Jamie as their agent, and they pass themselves off as a dance act. After the act, as Don Don is giving them contracts, Hymie enters and demands his money. Don Don hands him the $1 million prize money that the Sheik had, then tells Don Don he wants the rest in the morning. J.J., Victor, and Fenderbaum manage to get the money from Hymie and after meeting back with Jamie, they go to find the Sheik, only to find him being pampered by some of the women at the ranch. Hymie’s men capture them but the other Cannonballers crash through the doors and a fight breaks out. When the dust settles, all of Don Don’s and Hymie’s men are beaten but the Sheik tells everyone that he is now partners with Don Don, as he has decided to purchase the Pinto Ranch. When Hymie reminds Don Don about the money he owes him, Don Don speaks with the Sheik, who gives him $18 million. The Sheik then tells everyone that he is doubling the prize money and everyone gets back in their cars to finish the race, with Frank Sinatra deciding to join in. When the race finishes, the Sheik loses again and as his father berates him, he says that it is Doctor Van Helsing’s fault for injecting something in him for his ulcer. When his father says he has one last chance, with another Cannonball set to take place the next day, the Sheik tells his father he can’t lose, as he hired the winner of the race to be his co-driver. He then introduces his father to the winner, which turns out to be the orangutan, who proceeds to kiss the King.

Cannonball Run II met with poor results from the critics, currently holding a 13% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While there isn’t a critical consensus on the site, the critics felt that the movie was uninspired and the laughter felt forced. With the appearance of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., and Shirley MacLaine, many people feel that it is the last feature film of the Rat Pack, as this was Sinatra’s and Martin’s last film. Cannonball Run II barely made a profit, earning $28 million off of an estimated $20 million budget and when a third movie was announced, Jamie Farr was the only person to reprise his role in it.

Yeh, this was rather disappointing of a sequel. The acting was ok but a lot of the interactions felt a little forced, even with the pairings of Burt Reynolds (J.J.) and Dom DeLuise (Victor) and Dean Martin (Jamie) and Sammy Davis Jr. (Fenderbaum). The story was incredibly weak, both with the premise for the new race and the side plot with Don Don and Hymie. The comedy felt like it was just a rehash of everything from the first movie but all of the timing for the jokes felt off and watered down in some cases. This really is a bad attempt to copy off the success of the first film.

Rating: 2 out of 5

adventure, drama, movie, movie review

Flashback Review: May 8th, 2014 Movie – Black Water Gold

black water gold

Years ago, while on a family vacation, I remember seeing some sort of movie about a people searching for treasure and being chased by pirates or something. Unfortunately, I never found out the name of the movie so I could watch it again later. So any time I see a movie about people diving for treasure and bad guys trying to get it for themselves, I always watch it to see if it is the movie I saw but so far, no luck. Now I had bought the Creature Features collection for some other movies but when I read the description for Black Water Gold, I thought that maybe I had lucked out and finally found the movie. Alas, that was not the case so the search must continue.

The plot: Ray Sandage is scuba diving and attempting to poach some fish at a reserve to sell to a customer when he hears a commotion coming from the water’s surface. Looking up, he sees a large boat chasing down a smaller boat, with the men in the smaller boat jumping to safety before the larger boat runs into and destroys the smaller one. As the men begin trying to swim the safety, the larger boat circles around and the people on board begin shooting at the swimmers, killing them both, before leaving the area. Ray swims over to the wreckage of the smaller boat and after checking the name, pokes around and takes a dive bag from it before leaving the area himself. Swimming to shore, he makes his way to his dune buggy to get out of his gear but when he sees a police boat in the area, he quickly grabs his tanks from the beach, gets in the car, and leaves, as he is on a restricted beach. After managing to evade a cop that has harassed him before, Ray returns to his boat and examines what he had found on the wreckage, only to discover it is artifacts from a sunken ship called the Hidalgo. Knowing the significance of the discovery, and the riches it contains, Ray contacts his friend Christofer Perdeger to talk to him about helping in figuring out exactly where the wreckage is. Christofer says they will need to bring in Alejandro Zayas, a historian and diver who has been researching the Hidalgo in hopes of finding it himself and says that he will take the credit and 80% of the reward, leaving Ray with the remaining 20% and Ray reluctantly agrees. Elsewhere, Roger, the man that killed the others, heads to the boat owned by Lyle Fawcett and tells him and his female associate Thais about what happened and Lyle gets upset, as the men they killed were the only ones that knew where the Hidalgo was. Christofer goes to see Zayas, who is diving in a cave and shows him the gold piece that Ray gave him and Zayas excitedly agrees to help them. The three men, along with Christofer’s assistant Eagan Ryan, head to Nassau and while Christofer and Zayas begin trying to figure out where the Hidalgo might have sunk, Ray, using a fake name as the police are looking for him, attempts to rent a boat and supplies. As he speaks with Mr. Kefalos, who had rented the boat that had been destroyed, Ray tries to subtly find out where the men had been diving but Kefalos is suspicious of Ray and doesn’t reveal anything. Later, Kefalos goes to see Lyle and tells him that the man that killed his men is there, as he had received word from the police and was told to keep a look out for him. Lyle and Roger go to the cabin, under the guise of calling the police, and Lyle chastises Roger but says that this could work in their favor. Meanwhile, Christofer and Zayas are going over the letters from the survivors of the Hidalgo and have determined where it must have sunk. Getting their gear loaded onto the boat, they prepare to sail that night but, after a run in Ray had with the police and his getting Eagan involved, Christofer wants to delay sailing out and clear up the issue with the police. Zayas argues against it and when he refuses to budge, Ray knocks him out and then tells Zayas to head out. After Zayas and Ray put Christofer in the cabin, Eagan cares for him and explains how he had ruined his own diving career saving her when she had too much nitrogen in her system and had started going down too deep. In the morning, Lyle, Thais, and Roger are having breakfast while discussing Ray and the others with Kefalos, and Lyle is upset about the fact that the original information about the Hidalgo he had gotten from Kefalos appears to have been wrong. Ray and the others reach Black Key and as Ray and Zayas begin suiting up to go diving, Ray and Christofer end up arguing about their methods, with Christofer getting angry that he can’t go himself. Ray and Zayas don’t have much luck and Zayas says that he wants to check out an underwater cave that is close by. Ray and Zayas argue about his going to the cave, and later Christofer argues about his reasoning as well. When Zayas says that Christofer shouldn’t hate him because he can no longer dive and suggests sending Eagan down there with him, Christofer admits his mistake to Eagan and agrees to send her down. As Zayas and Eagan explore the cave, Ray dives down to search the surrounding sand for artifacts. On the surface, Lyle’s boat arrives and Roger and the crew begin firing at Christofer, the captain, and the young deck hand Jason, forcing them into the water. Hearing the shots, Ray, Zayas, and Eagan swim up to their friends and drag them underwater, sharing their own air supply from the scuba tanks, and take them into the cave for safety, which has an air bubble inside. On the surface, Lyle has Roger place some dynamite on the boat and they blow it up, planning to radio in a false claim about an accident, but Kefalos, who had accompanied them, is uncomfortable about the ordeal. After waiting for the boat to leave, Ray and the others swim to shore and Jason goes to look for some fresh water and supplies. Meanwhile, Christofer’s hearing has been severely damaged after being forced to dive down but he is able to tell them that he knows where the Hidalgo is and that the cave was the secret. Jason returns and says that there is a village nearby with boats that will help them so they ehad there. The next day, Ray asks the village chief to send one of his boats to Nassau to alert the authorities about what is going on when they get word of Lyle’s boat returning. Ray then has some of the fishermen head out and start chumming the water to fish for sharks, preventing any of Lyle’s men from being able to dive safely. Meanwhile, Ray, Eagan, and Zayas prepare to head out themselves to search for the compressor from their ship so they can recharge their scuba tanks. The three go in at night so there would be less chance of being spotted but unfortunately, Roger sees the torches they are using and alerts Lyle, who decides to head out there to deal with them. Ray, Eagan, and Zayas find the compressor and start using some of the remaining air from their tanks to fill up a balloon so they can float it to the surface. Meanwhile, Christofer, the captain, and Jason notice that Lyle’s boat had spotted the others and, grabbing a rifle, they start making their way out into the water to help their friends. When Lyle and Roger have spotlights directed down into the water, Ray and the others quickly put out their torches and split up to avoid Roger and Lyle, who go after them with spear guns. Ray manages to swim through a tunnel and uses the compressor to block the other entrance but as he swims back to the surface, he finds the Hidalgo. On the surface, he finds that Christofer and the others have taken over the ship and he tells him about the discovery. The next day, the police are arresting Lyle and Roger for the deaths and Thais tells Ray that she will testify on his behalf to clear up the matter. Christofer and Zayas agree to work as partners on researching the Hidalgo and the artifacts within while Ray decides to take his share of the money and leave the area.

This was a pretty disappointing movie to be honest. The acting was good, with Aron Kincaid (Ray), Ricardo Montalban (Zayas), Bradford Dillman (Lyle), and Keir Dullea (Christofer) all did good jobs in their roles. Lana Wood (Eagan) was ok but I thought that France Nuyen’s character of Thais was the most interesting one. The basic plot of the story was just that, basic. People find evidence of a sunken treasure and go to look for it while some other, more ruthless, people are after it as well. However, the story just kind of felt lazy and boring, without any real drama being felt throughout the movie. The special effects with the diving was ok but over all this was just boring as hell. So it wasn’t the movie I was looking for and wasn’t even that good of a movie as compensation.

Rating: 2 out of 5