horror, movie, movie review

November 3rd, 2019 Movie – Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood

friday the 13th 7

Well, Halloween has come and gone, but there are still plenty of Friday The 13th movies left to watch and review. So let’s continue our journey along the shores of Crystal Lake with today’s movie. Now this was another movie in the series that I watched pretty early on. In fact, It might have been listed as a “New Release” at Blockbuster when I rented it (ok, my mom and step-dad rented it but let’s not worry about the details). Even when I first watched it back then, my first thought was that they were getting pretty ridiculous with their ideas on this movie. I am curious to see how bad this movie is now so let’s dive right into today’s movie, Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood.

The plot: As Jason Voorhees’ body continues to lie chained to a rock at the bottom of Crystal Lake, a young girl named Tina Shepard is at a nearby cabin with her family. When she sees her father being abusive towards her mother, Tina runs from the cabin and gets into a boat on the dock. As her father comes out on the dock and pleads with Tina to come back, Tina yells at him to go away, then, utilizing a telekinetic ability she didn’t know she possessed, accidentally causes the dock to fall apart and send her dad into the water, where he is buried under the debris and drowns. Years later, a teenage Tina and her mother Amanda are driving back to their cabin at Crystal Lake, where they are meeting Tina’s psychiatrist, Dr. Crews, who suggested going there in order to help Tina get control of her powers. Upon arriving at the cabin, Crews wants to get started with his experiments immediately and as he films the tests, he tells Tina that her powers are connected to her emotions and he brought her here so she could deal with the guilt she feels over her father’s death. That night, after trying to convince Amanda that they should leave, Tina runs out onto the dock, reliving the death of her father and apologizing to him. Sensing something under the water, Tina uses her powers to unwittingly resurrect Jason and  when he bursts from the water, Tina sees him and faints. Amanda and Crews finds her on the dock and after bringing her inside, Tina tells them what she saw but Crews thinks it is just a hallucination brought on by her guilt. Meanwhile, Michael and Jane are heading to Crystal Lake, as Jane has arranged a surprise party for him there, when their car breaks down and as they walk to the cabin, Jason kills them both. At Crystal Lake, Michael’s cousin Nick invites Tina to the party, where she meets Melissa, Russell, Sandra, Eddie, Ben, Kate, Robin, Maddy, and David. As she is hanging out, Tina suddenly has a vision of Jason killing Michael and rushes from the house, only to see a tent stake driven through the door frame of her porch. She tells Amanda and Crews what she saw, as well as about the stake, but when Crews goes to check, the stake is gone. Meanwhile, Jason kills another couple that is camping out in the nearby woods. The next day, Nick, who is attracted to Tina, goes over to see her and they end up talking by the lake’s shore. Tina tells him about her father’s death and how she was in a mental hospital, unaware that Melissa, who wants to hook up with Nick, overhears her. Later, when Tina goes to the house to see Nick, Melissa uses Eddie to help her tease Tina, causing Tina to use her powers to break Melissa’s pearl necklace. That night, Tina continues pleading with Amanda and Crews that she wants to leave and when Crews argues against it, a frantic Tina telekinectically throws a TV at him. Tina rushes from the house and runs into Nick, who apologizes for what Melissa did. Tina asks Nick if Michael ever showed up and when Nick says no and shows her a picture of Michael, Tina tells him that Michael is dead before Amanda goes to tell Tina to pack so they can leave. Meanwhile, Jason arrives at the lake and kills Russell and Sandra as they are going for a swim in the lake. Crews takes a walk in the woods and discovers Michael’s body, then races back to the house, where he finds that Amanda had discovered Crews was trying to exploit Tina’s abilities for his own purposes. As the two argue, Tina overhears them and steals her mom’s car keys and leaves but as she is driving, she sees a vision of Jason killing Amanda and ends up crashing the car. Back at the party cabin, Melissa starts flirting with Eddie in order to try and make Nick jealous but Nick simply leaves to go look for Michael. Meanwhile, Maddy, upset that Robin is hooking up with David, decides to give herself a makeover so she can seduce David but as she wanders outside looking for him, she discovers Russell’s corpse and ends up being killed by Jason in an abandoned barn. Tina recovers from the crash and heads through the woods to get back to her cabin, encountering Nick along the way, and the two go looking for her mom and Michael, eventually finding Michael’s body. Back at the cabin, Jason kills Ben and Kate, who were having sex in a van outside, then cuts the power to the cabin before heading inside. Melissa tells Eddie the truth about why she was flirting with him, then sneaks out of the cabin to find Nick while Eddie sulks, unaware that Jason has entered the cabin and kills David, Eddie, and Robin. Tina and Nick return to Tina’s cabin and when she learns what Crews was up too, Tina starts to lose control of her powers again but Nick is able to calm her down. Finding Crews newspaper cuttings about Jason, Tina tells Nick that he is what came out of the lake and Nick wants to get the others to help her find Amanda so they can all leave together but while he heads to the other cabin, Tina leaves to look for her mom. Elsewhere, Amanda and Crews had gone looking for Tina and after finding the car, Amanda goes running through the woods calling out for Tina. Crews tries to convince Amanda to go back to the house when they encounter Jason and Crews sacrifices Amanda so he can escape. Back at the cabins, Nick finds Eddie’s body and races back to Tina’s cabin only to find her gone and Melissa there instead. In the woods, Tina encounters Crews, who tells her to come with him, but when she notices the blood on his clothes, she demands to know what happened and he tells her that Amanda is gone. Tina leaves to find her mom, and Crews ends up being killed by Jason. Tina finds Amanda’s body, as well as Kate’s, Sandra’s, and Maddy’s, and as she heads back to the cabins, she is confronted by Jason. Tina uses her powers to fight Jason, first by electrocuting him, then by bringing the porch of Russell’s cabin down on top of him. Tina heads back to her cabin and tells Nick about her mom and Jason but Melissa thinks she is lying and goes to leave, only to be killed by Jason. Tina continues to use her powers against Jason, eventually setting him on fire and both Tina and Nick run from the house before it explodes. As the recover on the dock, Jason attacks them again, knocking Nick unconscious and tossing Tina aside. As Jason moves towards Tina, she uses her powers one last time and is able to summon her father, who wraps a chain around Jason and drags him back into the lake. In the morning, the authorities have arrived and work to put out the remainder of the fire, while Nick and Tina are loaded into an ambulance to be taken to the hospital.

Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood met with negative reviews from the critics, currently holding a 32% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “As lumbering and bereft of conscious thought as its unstoppable star, Friday the 13th Part VII – The New Blood finds the franchise in desperate need of the title ingredient.” After the release of Friday The 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, Paramount pictures sought a partnership with New Line Cinema to create a crossover with Nightmare On Elm Street’s Freddy Krueger but after several failed concepts, screenwriter Daryl Haney suggested an idea akin to Jason vs Carrie, where Jason would battle a teenager with psychic abilities. The movie was a modest success at the box office, earning $19.1 million off of a $2.8 million budget, which was slightly less than it’s predecessor but still enough for the studio to release another sequel the next year.

Yeh, over 30 years couldn’t help this movie as it is still pretty ridiculous. The acting was pretty boring to be honest, with the only person that did a good job was Susan Jennifer Sullivan (Melissa), but that was because her role was to be a bitch and she played that part perfectly. The story idea was actually pretty neat on paper, because it kind of added to the supernatural aspect of the movie (yes, I know telekinesis isn’t supernatural but it does fit the theme sometimes). Unfortunately, what ended up on film didn’t quite live up to expectations as the story seemed to move to slowly to really build up any steam to get excited about. Having Tina struggle with her powers throughout the first part of the movie, then suddenly able to fully control them when she is fighting Jason felt like a cheap way to try and ramp up excitement but lacked any real believability in it. The special effects were a little weak when it came to Tina’s telekinesis, as it looked like something from the 70’s instead of the late 80’s. I will say that the makeup for Jason’s costume was good, as he looked even more decayed since he had been in the lake for several years, with portions of his ribs and spine showing to indicate how the fish and aquatic life had been feeding on him while he was underwater. It’s good for some laughs because of the ridiculousness of it, but it’s honestly a poor entry to the series.

Rating: 2 out of 5

action, adventure, movie, movie review, sci-fi

January 16th, 2018 Movie – Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force

roller blade warriors - taken by force

Ok, I know what you are thinking. I said I was done with the Roller Blade Seven movies yesterday, and technically that is true. However, if you have ever bought a movie on Amazon, you know that sometimes they will recommend another movie to go with it. That was the case with this movie, which I decided to buy along with the Roller Blade Seven Trilogy during a drunken Amazon night. Funny thing is that this movie was actually directed by the same man that directed the Roller Blade Seven trilogy. So let’s see what this earlier work looks like with today’s movie, Roller Blade Warriors: Taken By Force.

The plot: In an apocalyptic future, Karin Crosse, a warrior nun, is escorting a young psychic named Gretchen Hope to a monastery, killing off the occasional mutant that attacks them. Meanwhile, Streak and Karp are preparing a sacrifice for the psychic creature that there boss uses but when the creature discovers that the woman they brought it was actually a man, it eviscerates him and throws his body outside the building. Rinaldi tells them to find a virgin for the sacrifice and they grab Marachek and Kosai and head out into Hell’s Anvil to find one. When Karin’s horse dies, they find an old bicycle and use their robes to fashion a sail so they can continue to their destination. After stopping to get some water at a small oasis, Karin wants to keep moving but Gretchen convinces her to let her rest for a while. Elsewhere, a trio of rollerblade warriors, led by Karin’s sister Sharon, reach a crossroads in the desert and the rookie, Miko, asks to explore on her own. At the same time, Streak and the others meet up with Johnny Topp, who leads Streak and Marachek to a slave trader that has some women fr sell. While they are gone, Kosai smells a woman nearby so he and Karp go look for her. They find Miko and attempt to capture her but when Miko resists, Kosai ends up killing her. Sharon and Valijean go looking for Miko and after finding her body, go seeking vengeance on her killers. They find Streak, Marachek, and Johnny returning with some slaves and attack them, killing Johnny and chasing off Streak and Marachek, then free the slaves and take them to their mission. Karin and Gretchen make camp for the night but Gretchen wakes up screaming that there is evil around them. Streak and the others have found Karin and Gretchen’s bike and begin hunting for them. Karin attacks and kills a miner that was nearby but Karp throws a rock at her head and sends her falling off the cliff. Rinaldi and the others grab Gretchen and take her back to Abadon. Gretchen, who wasn’t dead, begins receiving psychic contacts from Gretchen and heads out to rescue her. At the same time, Mother Speed senses that Gretchen is in danger and sends Sharon and Valijean out to rescue her. Karin reaches Abadon and is stopped by the gate keeper, Old Turkel, and is forced to kill him when he refuses to let her enter. Taking Turkel’s sword to replace her broken one, Karin heads inside to find Gretchen and is pointed towards the saloon, where Streak is known to hang out. After Karin gets in a fight with a miner named Lyle, the leader of Abadon, Rinaldi, shows up and offers to help her find Gretchen. As they walk around the palce, Rinaldi explains that Abadon is an abandoned uranium mining facility but it has been shut down long ago. When Karin gets images of Gretchen being raped, Rinaldi grows angry and says they should split up to find her. Rinaldi heads to a room where Gretchen is being molested by Karp, Kosai, and Marachek and proceeds to beat them, then asks where Streak is. Streak is back at the saloon talking with Tawny and trying to convince her to side with him when he kills Rinaldi and takes over. When Rinaldi enters the saloon, Streak tries to pull a knife on him but Karin enters and cuts his hand, allowing Rinaldi to shoot Streak. Karin says she came back because the feelings from Gretchen were strongest here and Rinaldi says that Streak killed her and dumped her in the well full of nuclear waste. Rinaldi takes Karin to a room in the saloon so she can rest and Tawny asks him why he doesn’t kill her but Rinaldi says that he likes her and plans on using her. Rinaldi then dons his protective radiation suit and grabs Gretchen from the back room and takes her into the stacks, where he chains her to a frame as the sacrifice. Receiving more psychic visions, Karin yells to be let out of the room and Tawny opens the door and leads Karin to the stacks, explaining about the creature and why women are sacrificed to it. When they reach the stacks, Tawny asks Karin to spare Rinaldi, as she loves him and is pregnant with his child, and Karin assures her that her mission is to rescue Gretchen. Heading inside the stacks, Karin locates Gretchen and sets her free but as they try to escape, Rinaldi locks the door. He then hears Tawny calling out for Karin and after accusing her of betraying him, shoots her. Back in the stacks, Karin and Gretchen are chased by the creature and Karin begins fighting with it, seemingly killing it. After Karin and Gretchen make their way out of the stacks, the creature follows them but and jumps at them but they dodge it’s attack and it ends up falling to it’s death. As Karin and Gretchen try to figure out a way out, they are confronted by Karp, Kosai, and Marachek. Karin and Gretchen are joined by Sharon and Valijean and the three warriors split up and deal with the three men. When Rinaldi shows up to confront Karin, she skates after him and Rinaldi tries to shoot her with his robotic arm but misses and Karin is able to grab it and kill him with his own weapon. The four women then leave Abadon and head to the mission, where Mother Speed welcomes Gretchen to the sisterhood and tells her to prepare for her role as a roller blade warrior.

Well, I will say this, at least this movie had a straight forward plot. That being said, this is honestly nothing better than some cheap sexploitation movie. The acting was bad, with several of the characters coming off as robotic sounding. The story kind of made sense but really felt weak and seemed to leave some plot holes that never get explained. The special effects were pretty weak while the fight scenes were so slow paced that they just felt boring. Well. hopefully I learned my lesson after this series of movies and will refrain from buying some that are this bad to watch.

Rating: 1 out of 5

comedy, movie, movie review

October 19th, 2017 Movie – South Beach Academy

south beach academy

This right here is what you would call an unwanted bonus movie. I say that because I had no intention of buying this movie, it just happened to be the second movie in a double feature disc that I bought. Now I bought this disc because I wanted Rock ‘N’ Roll High School Forever and this was the only way I could get it. I have my ideas on what this movie is about so let’s see if this movie matches them as I watch South Beach Academy.

The plot: Harry Spencer is sneaking onto a yacht to rescue his girlfriend from Johnny Staccato, a minor mob boss. As he confronts Johnny, Harry monologues about how he wound up in this predicament. One week ago, his brother Billy came to town and met a girl named Harley, who he managed to get a date with. Harry teaches volleyball at South Beach Academy, which is owned by his uncle Gene. Gene has placed a bet with Johnny on the volleyball match that is going on and keeps telling Johnny’s muscle, Pigiron, to increase the bet. During the match, Harry sees Shannon McSorely running on the beach and is amazed when she hits an errant volleyball back into the match. Shannon stays to watch the match, which Harry’s team is winning, until all of the bets are in. Johnny’s muscle signals the girls on his team and they immediately start beating Harry’s team, eventually winning the match. Afterwards, Harry goes to talk with Shannon, who tells him he was set up to lose that match and reveals that she used to be on the US volleyball team. Billy shows up and interrupts them but quickly leaves as Harry arranges to meet with Shannon later. As they walk along the pier, she tells them about how she got conned into a scam which resulted in her not being able to compete in the Olympics. Later that night, Billy and Harry go to a bar, where Harley works as a singer, and while Billy goes closer to the stage to watch Harley, Harry sees Shannon and goes to talk with her. The next day, Johnny shows up at the academy to collect his money and offers Gene a rematch, saying if Gene’s team wins, he will forgive his initial bet and give him 2 million dollars, but if Johnny’s team wins, he gets the deed to the academy. Harry tells Gene not to do it, and Gene says he will just pay Johnny the money in the morning but when Johnny continues to taunt Gene, Gene ends up making the bet. As Harry talks with Gene later about the bet, Gene says he knows Shannon used to be an Olympic volleyball player and was hoping Harry could get her and her former teammates to play for his team. Harry reluctantly agrees to talk to Shannon about it and she is angry that he wants to use her like that but finally agrees, as Johnny was the one that ran the scam on her and she wants to get payback. As Harry and Shannon go try to recruit the other members of the team to help, they are attacked on the beach by some of Johnny’s men but are helped out by Shannon’s former teammate Dominique. After meeting the last member of the team and getting her to join, the girls start practicing for the match. The night before the match, Shannon invites Harry to her house for dinner and they start to make out but Shannon stops before it goes too far, wanting to wait till after the match. After Harry leaves, Shannon finds Johnny in her house and when Harry calls Shannon later that night, Johnny ends up talking with Harry and revealing that Shannon has been working with him. The next day, the match commences and Harry’s team tries their best without Shannon but are losing. When Pigiron goes to taunt Gene, Shannon uses that time to try and explain herself to Harry, saying that Johnny had promised the information to free her brother from jail if she went along with his scheme. However, because of her feelings for Harry, she decides to go against Johnny’s wishes and play for Harry’s team. Harry’s team mounts a comeback and starts to win but Pigiron returns and grabs Shannon and takes her away and Harry goes after her, which brings us to the start of the movie. As Johnny brags to Harry about how he has been manipulating Shannon, Shannon manages to kick Johnny in the face and knock him out. Harry and Shannon return to the match and Harry’s team wins. At the celebration party, Harry reveals that he had taped Johnny’s confession which they can use to free Shannon’s brother and Harry and Shannon end up walking along the beach and having sex, as well as Billy and Harley.

Yup, this is exactly what I thought it would be; a cheap, boring T&A movie. There really isn’t much going for this movie. The acting was pretty bland and honestly did nothing to get me interested in the movie. The story was poorly written, and the pacing was kind of a messed, bouncing between the main story and Billy’s constant showing up in a strip club. Harry’s narrating the movie at times was pretty annoying, while Corey Feldman was honestly annoying all the time. His “calling” the volleyball match was absolutely ridiculous. Another thing that was kind of annoying but also funny at times was the random scenes involving a “drill sergeant” who was teaching girls various beach activities throughout the movie. This is the kind of movie that you would expect to watch late at night when you were teenager but not exactly worth watching now.

Rating: 1 out of 5