comedy, horror, movie, movie review, sci-fi, The Asylum

January 17th, 2018 Movie – Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

sharknado 5

For me, one of the highlights of the summer is always Sharknado week on Syfy. This past year had several really fun movies, some of which have yet to be released on DVD, aside form today’s movie. Every year they seem to be going bigger and bigger with these movies and I enjoy every one of them but I know that the train will end up going off the rails soon. So let’s enjoy this while it lasts and have some fun with today’s movie, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming.

The plot: In a cave close by Stonehenge, Nova discovers a mural depicting a history of sharknados and contacts her team waiting above and tells them to contact Fin Shepard. Fin, along with April ad their son Gil, are in London for a meeting with NATO about the sharknado threat when Fin gets Nova’s call and goes to meet her. April and Gil are shown the secret lab where British scientist are working on anti-sharknado weapons and Gil is given a helmet that will allow him to survive inside a sharknado. Back at Stonehenge, Fin descends into the cavern and Nova shows him the mural and tells him that sharknados have appeared in the past but humanity fought back and won. An artifact called the Harness of Dakuwaqa is in the cavern and she had Fin brought there to help her get it. Making their way through the booby traps, the find the artifact and grab it but set off a chain reaction leading to the formation of a sharknado. Fin and Nova head back to London, with April saving them when their helicopter is attacked by sharks. Nova commandeers a bus and heads towards Buckingham Palace and when they get there, April flies off to try and stop Big Ben from being destroyed. Fin has Nova look after Gil while he leads the palace guards in a charge to rescue the Queen, who is trapped inside the palace, but despite Nova’s best efforts, Gil ends up being sucked up into the sharknado and disappears. When they regroup, Nova apologizes for what happened and both Fin and April are upset that she lost their son. Nova is upset with herself but receives a signal from Gil’s helmet showing he is alive and currently in Holland. Nova convinces Fin to head to the NATO meeting, as the best minds on the planet are there to discuss the sharknado problem. When another sharknado forms and attacks the meeting, Fin, April, and Nova are directed towards a specialized blimp piloted by Dr. Angel and they had out after the sharknado with Gil in it but Dr. Angel is killed and the Blimp catches fire and crashes over Switzerland. Fin, April, and Nova manage to get out before the crash and seeing some ski equipment, he hands April a ski and tells her to spin and form a vortex that will attract the sharknado that Gil is in towards them. The idea works but it also causes an avalanche and Fin, April, and Nova are forced to ski/snowboard to safety. With the sharknado moving away from them, Fin, April, and Nova get on a dog sled and use it to get close to the vortex before cutting the dogs free, allowing the sled to get sucked into the vortex. Inside, Fin and the others see Gil and try to grab him but are unable to and as Gil disappears again, Fin, April, and Nova find themselves somehow transported to Australia and surrounded by sharks. A helicopter shows up and throws a ladder down for them to climb to safety but as April tries to protect Fin, she is bitten in half by a shark. When they reach shore, Nova leads Fin towards the Sydney Opera House, which serves as the headquarters for her sharknado Sisterhood, telling him that they will be able to repair April. Nova then goes to contact her Sister in the China area overseeing the removal of the Nuclear waste from the last sharknado attack in America, as China had overtaken the project, and Fin is shocked to discover that it is his cousin Gemini, causing him and Nova to get into an argument. In the China Sea, a sharknado attacks the ship, absorbing the nuclear waste material into it. Back in Australia, the rebuilt April reunites with Fin and is told her flight systems no longer work and that if she receives to much of a charge, her circuits could overload. When they get a signal that the sharknado Gil is in is heading towards them, Nova has the Opera House transform into a battle station to defend Australia from it. Fin and April head to the bridge to try and bungee jump into the vortex to save Gil, with April secretly stealing the artifact from Nova before they leave. Fin and April manage to jump inside but are unable to grab Gil, who disappears into the vortex, and Fin and April end up transported to Brazil. They are picked up by a man named Rodolfo, who works for Nova, and he takes them to a woman named Vega so she can explain about the artifact, unaware that they are being followed by a mysterious man named Zico. At Vega’s place, she explains that the artifact could be used to summon a sharknado but that it should be returned to Stonehenge. While they are talking, Vega’s assistant grabs the artifact and hands it to Zico and when they discover it is missing, Fin and April chase after him. As the sharknado hits the city, Fin and April follow after Zico and they end up driving through the vortex and arrive in Rome. Fin and Zico start to fight but Zico ends up being killed by some sharks and the artifact is swallowed. Fin kills the shark and takes the artifact back but the sharknado disappears, leaving them with no idea what to do. April throws some coins into the Trevi Fountain and they are approached by an emissary of the Pope, who gives Fin a special chainsaw to help him save the world. Fin and April decide to try and summon the Sharknado to them so they can save Gil and they manage to grab him but a shark slams into them and they lose their grip on Gil and end up landing in Japan. As they check the montier to make sure Gil is alive, they see that the sharknado that had absorbed the nuclear material had mutated into a giant blob of sharks which the media dubs Sharkzilla. Nova and her Sisters fly over Sharkzilla and jump into it in an effort to rescue Gil, while the military fire missiles at Shakzilla to try and destroy it. The explosions disperse the blob but Gil is sucked into the vortex again while Nova falls to the street, where she ends up dying in Fin’s arms, apologizing for failing to save Gil. As more sharknados attack the world, Fin calls his son Matt, who tells him that Claudia, The Colonel, and Grandma are all dead just before he is killed as well. Fin and April end up in another sharknado and are transported to Egypt, where they discover hieroglyphics showing how the ancient Egyptians fought against sharknados. Realizing that the artifact is a key to a hidden chamber, they find the machine the Egyptians used and activate it, stopping the sharknados across the world but the machine doesn’t shut down and begins making even stronger sharknados. April notices a staff which serves as a key for the machine and tells Fin to grab it, then decides to try and absorb the excess energy from the machine in order to shut it down, sacrificing herself in order to do so. Carrying April’s head around in the hopes of being able to restore her, Fin searches for any survivors among the wreckage of the city and is approached by a man in a Humvee, who turns out to be an adult Gil. Gil explains that the sharknados had sent him back in time and he had been working on a way to get back to him, able to figure out how to use them as a time machine. Gil then says that they have to go back to the beginning in order to save April and the rest of their family so Fin gets in the Humvee and they head off.

This was another fun installment in the series but watching it now, I can admit that it felt a little weak. The acting was decent for the most part, though Tara Reid still seems bad (especially when she is screaming). I loved the cameos, with several of them being very funny (like Geraldo Rivera opening a tiny safe and finding it empty). The story honestly felt a little weak, as it felt like they were struggling to come up with a way to make the sharknados bigger and badder. I did like the nod to Indiana Jones that they had in the beginning of the movie and the obvious Back To The Future nod at the end but I felt like they could have done more with the movie then use it as a time travel gimmick. The special effects were good, and I did like the “Sharkzilla” aspect, which really made me laugh. A fun movie to watch but it does make me a little worried for how they will handle the next one.

Rating: 4 out of 5

action, movie, movie review, thriller

August 9th, 2017 Movie – Shark Lake

shark lake

Amazon definitely has my shopping trends pegged. Anytime I go on their site, they always point out movies that I would be interested in, or already own. Today’s movie is one such item that popped up on my feed a year or two ago. Since Dolph Lundgren has kind of had a career revitalization with The Expendables movies, I decided to go ahead and pick this movie up. Let’s see if that idea was worth it as I watch today’s movie, Shark Lake.

The plot: At Alpine Lake, the police, led by Meredith Hernandez, are raiding the home of Clint Gray, a black market dealer in exotic species. When they enter the house, they find Clint’s young daughter Carly in her bed but Clint tries to escape in his van. As he is driving, Clint calls his client to try and arrange delivery of the cargo he is carrying but as he tries to evade the police, he ends up crashing into the lake and as he swims to shore, a shark is seen swimming out of the crashed van behind him. Clint is captured by Meredith and her partner and as they are writing up the reports, Meredith is keeping an eye on Carly and asks who is coming to pick her up and her partner tells her Child Services, as she has no living relatives aside from Clint. 5 years later, Clint is paroled from prison and Meredith, who has adopted Carly, begins receiving calls from Child Services about arranging supervised visits between Carly and Clint. Carly goes to her old partner Lewis Galloway, who is now the police chief, and asks him to do something to help keep Clint away from Carly, as she feels Clint would be a danger to Carly. Lewis tells her it is the law but relents and says he will see what he can do. Meanwhile, an old man panning for gold on the lake shore is killed and when his wife gets to his body, she finds the arm had been ripped off. When Meredith gets there, Lewis tells her the wife believes it was a bear attack but Meredith is unsure that that was what happened. Elsewhere, Clint returns to his home to find to men waiting for him saying that their employer, Don Barnes, wants to meet with him. Clint refuses to go and when they try to use force, Clint breaks the arm of one man while grabbing the gun from the other one, then forces them at gunpoint to leave the house. Meredith and Carly go out for lunch and as they are eating, Carly is asking questions about the attack, as one of the kids from school had been talking about it. A man sitting nearby overhears their conversation and as Carly goes to the restroom, he introduces himself to Meredith as Peter Mayes, a marine biologist who is testing some gear at the lake. That night, during a bonfire party at the lake shore, two kids go off alone into the water but as they are fooling around, the boy is killed. The next day, Peter is diving in the lake and comes across the arm of victim, which he takes back to show Meredith. Meredith and Peter head to the lake, where Lewis is holding a press conference about the capture of a bear in the area, and warn everyone to get out of the water, just as a parasailer has her foot bitten off. Later, Peter is explaining to Lewis about how bull sharks can live in the lake but Lewis wants to know how it got there, as there are no rivers or streams connecting the lake to a waterway. Meanwhile, Clint stops by Meredith’s house to speak with Meredith but after her mother tells him she isn’t there and he isn’t welcome there, he leave, but not before he sees Carly watching from the top of the stairs. The next day, Don and his men pay a visit to Clint, and Don is upset about the bull shark being in the lake, as Clint was supposed to deliver the shark to Don 5 years ago. Don demands that Clint capture the shark, threatening Carly as a means of convincing Clint to meet his demands. Meanwhile, Meredith goes to see Lewis about getting a restraining order for Clint but he is busy talking to Garreth Lee, a shark hunter who was brought in to capture the shark, but Meredith feels like Garreth is too arrogant for his own good. After Lewis refuses to give her the restraining order, Meredith heads to Clint’s house but find him gone, as he has already headed out on the lake to try and hunt the shark. Meredith keeps looking around the house, eventually finding a photo of a bull shark on Clint’s basement wall as well as a bullet, which she later determines goes to a Soviet underwater assault rifle. Meanwhile, Lewis goes with Garreth and his cameraman out onto the lake to hunt the shark and when they find it, Garret and his camerman head into the water to go after it, only for Garreth to be attacked and killed by two other sharks they weren’t aware of, while the cameraman is killed by the first shark. Meredith had gone to Peter’s hotel room to voice her suspicions about Clint being responsible for the bull shark being in the lake 5 years ago and as they watch the video of Garreth’s attack, he explains to Lewis that the bull shark was pregnant when it went into the lake and apparently two of it’s pups survived. Meanwhile, Carly sneaks into Meredith’s office and looks up Clint’s address and then sneaks out of the house and rides her bike there while Meredith’s mother is walking the dog. Meredith goes out for a drink with Peter after they fail to convince Lewis not to post the bounty on the sharks as it will end up with more deaths on their hands. When they get back to Meredith’s house, Meredith heads inside but when she sees a shark heading for her mother in the lake, she quickly grabs a shotgun and kills it. When Meredith’s mother goes back into the house and finds Carly is missing, Meredith radios for an officer to go check Clint’s house as she drives over there with Peter. The officer doesn’t see Clint there at first but when Clint pulls up in his truck and heads towards his boat he follows him and tries to arrest him for Carly’s kidnapping. Clint is surprised to hear about Carly being missing but when Carly appears, having been hiding on the boat, and distracts the officer, Clint disarms him and then throws him off the boat before heading out into the lake. Clint then talks with Carly for a little bit and tells her that he has to take her home as her mom will be worried but when Carly asks why they are going the other way, he tells her they are taking the scenic route. Meredith and Peter arrive at Clint’s house just as he is leaving and they head back to the dock to get Peter’s boat to go after them. As they are leaving the harbor, they encounter a man on a jet ski that is going out to try and catch the sharks but the man ignores their warnings to stay out of the water. As Meredith and Peter search the lake for Clint’s boat, the jet ski crashes into their boat, knocking Peter out of it. Peter goes to help the jet ski driver but one of the sharks attacks the man and kills him while Peter swims back to the boat. With their boat sinking, Peter fashions himself a weapon to use as they try to swim the shore. They are attacked by one of the remaining sharks but Peter manages to stab it to death with his makeshift spear, only to be killed by the last shark. As the shark swims towards Meredith, she is pulled out of the water by Clint and dragged onto his boat. After demanding to see Carly, Meredith argues with Clint about having her out there but Clint says he was going to bring her back to Meredith, as he doesn’t have a problem with her raising Carly. When Meredith says that it is Clint’s fault that people died, Clint says he knows and that is why he is there to fix it. The shark starts attacking the boat and Carly is knocked into the water. Clint dives in to save her and as Meredith drags Carly onto the boat, Clint fends off the shark and ends up being bitten in the shoulder. After making sure Carly is safe, Meredith dives into the water and shoots the shark to save Clint. As they make their way to shore, Meredith tells Clint that he should go, as she doesn’t want him to be arrested again, but Clint says he is tired of running and chooses to stay and face the consequences. As his injuries are being tended to, Meredith pleads for leniency on Clint’s behalf to Lewis and Lewis agrees to release Clint in exchange for his help in providing information to capture Don.

This was a decent movie to watch. The acting was good, with Dolph Lundgren (Clint), Sara Malakul Lane (Meredith), and Michael Aaron Milligan (Peter) doing good jobs in their roles. The story was pretty good, doing a great job in explaining how the shark got into the lake. The human drama regarding Meredith’s fear and over-protectiveness of Carly regarding her father actually worked in well with the main plot, serving as a great way to close out the movie and bring Meredith and Clint onto the same page, as they both want to keep Carly safe. The one downside with this movie were the special effects regarding the sharks, as they definitely looked overly fake. Since the movie was made in a fairly serious tone, you couldn’t really laugh at them for being bad, unlike in some of the other over the top movies where the sharks are sometimes intentionally designed to look cheap just to up the ridiculous factor of the movie. Still, this isn’t a bad movie and is worth checking out if there is nothing else on.

Rating: 3 out of 5