comedy, movie, movie review

February 28th, 2018 Movie – Tomcats

tomcats

I am completely dragging ass this morning. Part of it is that I did not get a lot of sleep last night, kept waking up throughout the night so my brains is not exactly functioning at full capacity. Anyways, today’s movie is one that I bought for cheap for a pretty shallow reason. Shannon Elizabeth was hot. I know, not the best reason for buying a movie. Funny thing is, after buying it, I might have watched it once, maybe twice, in over 12 years. So let’s see if this movie is worth the $1.99 I spent on it as I watch Tomcats.

The plot: Seven years ago, Michael Delany is a groomsman at his friend Max’s wedding, as are Kyle Brenner, Steve, and the rest of their friends, known as the Tomcats. Michael is freaking out and makes a vow to stay single forever and Kyle, in an attempt to loosen him up, steals a bottle of wine from the gift table and the groomsmen and groom start drinking it, unaware that the bride’s sister had laced the wine with a erectile dysfunction drug, causing the guys to all have boners during the ceremony. Afterwards, Michael and the other Tomcats are commenting about Max and ragging on Steve, who they say will be the next one to get married and they end up starting a pool, putting several hundred dollars into it each year and the last man to stay single will get the pot. In the present day, Steve is getting married in Las Vegas leaving, Michael and Kyle as the last two single men in the pool. Michael had brought Shelby, the girl he is currently dating, to the wedding and as they are fooling around after the ceremony, he mistakenly thinks she wants him to say he loves her and breaks up with her, only for her to laugh and tell him what she meant. Michael is depressed over the break up and Steve tries to console him by saying there are plenty of women in the casino and after he leaves, Michael notices a redhead near the craps table. The bartender warns Michael that she is only interested in high rollers but Michael decides to give it a shot anyways and starts losing money at the table to try and impress her. Tricia sees this and gets Steve to try and stop Michael and Steve manages to convince him to stop before placing a $25,000 bet but when Michael hands the dice to the woman, she throws them down the table and loses and security escort Michael and Steve to the owner’s office. Inside, Carlos, the owner goes to show Michael a replay of what happened, during the course of which showing footage of two women together and Steve thinks one of them is Tricia. Finally showing the craps table, Carlos explains that the woman had been rubbing the dice on her breasts for luck for Michael while he was playing so when he handed them to her and she threw them, it constituted a throw for Michael, resulting in him owing $51,000 to Carlos. Michael and Steve return to Steve’s room, where Steve starts searching everywhere for the second woman while Tricia asks what happened and Michael tells her. Michael goes to see Kyle, who has a lot of money, and wants to ask him to loan him the money but before he can ask, Kyle tells him he hates people who borrow money. As they keep talking, Michael asks if he was ever in love and Kyle says maybe once, then talks about a bridesmaid he hooked up with at Max’s wedding. Michael goes to see Tricia and Steve, who thinks that Tricia is cheating on him with their maid, and asks if she knows where he can find Natalie. Tricia tells him where but Michael is surprised to find that she is a prostitute on a street corner. Michael hesitantly approaches her and starts talking with her only to discover she is an undercover cop when she arrests him. Michael is taken to the station, where Natalie and Officer Hurley start questioning him and Michael explains why he was looking for Natalie. Natalie says she doesn’t remember Kyle and lets Michael go, then shows up at Michael’s house the next day. She asks why he didn’t borrow the money from Kyle and when Michael explains, she tells him that she will help him in exchange for half of the money, as she wants to get revenge on Kyle for what he did when he took her virginity. Michael and Natalie begin watching Kyle so that they can figure out what he likes and dislikes. During the course of their observations, they end up getting closer and Michael starts to falling for her. After an awkward dinner with several of their friends, and their children, Michael and Natalie are walking on the beach and Natalie sets up a situation where Michael can kiss her. When he balks, Natalie arrests someone committing vandalism nearby and tells Michael to bring Kyle to her in the morning. The next day, Natalie is talking to Hurley while they are making a drug bust about how she is falling for Michael and thinks he likes her too but she isn’t sure so Hurley tells her to make Michael jealous to see find out his feelings. The next day, Michael and Kyle are wandering by the cosmetics counter when the bump into Natalie, who is pretending to work there. After speaking for a little bit, Kyle recognizes Natalie and Michael leaves the alone but ends up following after them on their date. When they get back to Kyle’s house, Michael attempts to watch them but Natalie destroys the microphone and turns the lights on in order to blind Michael, who was using night vision glasses to see them. Inside Kyle’s house, Natalie tells Kyle that she isn’t having sex with him that night and hands him a bottle of lotion and Kyle, thinks she is testing him. Natalie calls Michael and asks him to meet her and when he does, she tells him she is falling in love with Kyle. Michael is shocked and unable to come to grips with his own feelings for her, decides to sleep with the next woman he sees. He picks up a librarian named Jill and she takes him back to her house, where she is revealed to be a dominatrix who tends to team up on her subjects with her grandmother. The next day, Michael and Kyle are talking and Kyle asks Michael to check his crotch, as one of his testicles feels bigger than the other, but Michael refuses. They go to see Steve, who is a proctologist, and he reluctantly checks on Steve, who then refers him to a urologist, who tells Kyle he has testicular cancer. Kyle undergoes surgery to remove the testicle and as he is recovering, he asks Michael to bring him his testicle and Michael attempts to do so but breaks the jar and as he tries to chase down the testicle, it ends up being unknowingly eaten by the urologist so Michael places a walnut in a jar of water and hands it to Kyle. A few days later, Kyle invites Michael to lunch with him and Natalie, where he proposes to Natalie. During the bachelor party, Michael comments about Kyle having one last hurrah but Kyle says that he plans to keep sleeping with other women while Natalie is at home with the kids. Realizing he can’t let Natalie go through with the scam, Michael wants to stop the wedding but ends up being knocked out by a bowling ball. The next day, Natalie is at the city hall waiting for Michael to show up, as Tricia and Hurley both ask if she really wants to go through with this. Meanwhile, Michael wakes up and, unable to find his clothes, throws on a robe and heads to City Hall to stop the wedding, trying to avoid the cops as he was accused of being a flasher and peeping tom. Michael arrives at the City Hall and yells out to stop the wedding only to realize it is the wrong wedding, then sees Natalie’s bouquet and realizes she had gone through with the wedding. Getting the money from the pool, Michael pays back Carlos and runs into Kyle a few days later with another woman. After accusing him of cheating on Natalie, Kyle punches Michael, who asks what it was for. Kyle explains that on their wedding night, Natalie had knocked him out with a roll of quarters, as revenge for leaving her alone with a roll of quarters for a cab ride home, and she had the marriage annulled the next day. When Kyle says that he has a date that night with a redheaded librarian and had suggested a book to read, Michael gets a happy look on his face and tells him that book will change his life, then runs off. That night, Michael goes to the street corner where Natalie is working undercover again and speaks with her, offering her a proposal involving a house and a ring, with possibly kids and a dog. Some time later, they are shown to be getting married, with Michael telling her he loves her. Meanwhile, Kyle is shown to be shackled in Jill’s bedroom and Grammy approaches him while wearing a strap-on and Kyle seems to like it. Elsewhere, Steve discovers that Tricia was cheating on him with both their maid and his nurse but when she asks if he wants to join them, he happily rips off his clothes and does so.

Tomcats was panned by the critics, holding a 14% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critical consensus on the site is, “Why even bother? You already know if you’re going to see it or not.” Got to admit, that is really funny. After getting a producer, a script, two stars and a shooting plan, writer/director Gregory Poirior took the film to the newly formed Revolution Studios. Joe Roth, the studio’s founder, could not overlook this ready-made opportunity for the newly-formed company’s first project. Despite the bad reviews, the movie was a modest hit at the box office, earning $23.4 million off of an $11 million budget.

I know I was dragging ass this morning and this movie did not help me get any motivation whatsoever. This really isn’t a good movie because all of the juvenile aspects of it are just annoying. The acting was ok, with Shannon Elizabeth (Natalie) doing a decent job but Jake Busey (Kyle) and Jerry O’Connell (Michael) playing the almost non-stop juvenile roles was just annoying. The story was equally annoying and honestly just felt really weak. Honestly, the side story of Steve (Horatio Sanz) constantly trying to figure out if Tricia (Jaime Pressly) was cheating on him was more entertaining than the majority of this movie. I’m just going to go ahead and end this hear. This is a pointless comedy that doesn’t really have much redeeming it.

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5

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