comedy, horror, movie, movie review

April 11th, 2017 Movie – My Mom’s A Werewolf

my moms a werewolf

Man, was there ever a better time for some ridiculously cheesy movies than the 80’s. Take today’s movie for instance. I remember seeing the box for this movie in video stores and thinking it looked overly ridiculous, so of course I would end up renting it. It was as cheesy and corny as I could have hoped for, but I honestly didn’t think about buying it. Luckily for me, it was included in the Pure Terror box set, though I honestly don’t know why. Regardless, let’s see if today’s movie is as cheesy as I remember as I watch My Mom’s A Werewolf.

The plot: Leslie Shaber and her daughter Jennifer return home from the grocery store and while Leslie is struggling to get inside with all of the bags, Jennifer rushes inside. While on the phone with her dad, Jennifer finally opens the door to help Leslie, and she learns that her husband, Harry, won’t be home for dinner. After Leslie hangs up the phone, Jennifer leaves to go hang out with her friend Stacey so Leslie settles in on her couch with their dog to watch TV. Jennifer and Stacey go to a horror shop and Stacey convinces Jennifer to go get their fortunes told by a gypsy inside. The gypsy starts her act but suddenly tells Jennifer that she sees her in conflict with an animal and warns that she will be facing an unholy evil for the next few days, then hands Jennifer one of her cards before she leaves. Later that night, Harry returns home and Leslie tries talking to him about how they should do something together because she feels the excitement is missing from their marriage but Harry has already fallen asleep. The next day, Harry has some friends over to watch the game and completely ignores Leslie, who storms out of the house to go shopping. When she stops at a pet shop to buy a flea collar, she is startled by the owner, who gives her a set of collars on the house but when she leaves, he grabs one of the mice from a display case and eats it. As Leslie heads to her car, her purse is snatched and the thief runs off but the owner catches up to him and throws him into a truck of eggs and returns the purse to Leslie. Later, Leslie is having lunch at a restaurant and the pet store owner approaches her and asks if he can treat her to lunch. He introduces himself as Harry Thropen and the two place their orders and Leslie ends up venting about her husband. Meanwhile, Jennifer and Stacey are bringing some flowers to help cheer Leslie up when they see Leslie with Harry and try to get closer to listen to their conversation. Harry kisses Leslie but when their meal arrives, he suddenly leaves the restaurant, leaving Leslie with the bill. Jennifer and Stacey follow Harry but when he enters through the back door of his shop, they try to look inside but are chased off by a police officer. Leslie goes to the shop to yell at Harry but he invites her back to his bedroom and seduces her. As he is kissing his way down her body, he starts sucking on her toe before he bites it and Leslie quickly gets up and leaves. When she returns home, Jennifer tries to get Leslie to reveal what happened at lunch but Leslie doesn’t catch Jennifer’s subtle accusations. Later that night, Jennifer returns home to find Howard crying at the dinner table and she thinks it is because he found out about Leslie but he is crying tears of joy because Leslie, who is a vegetarian, cooked him a pot roast for dinner. After dinner, Leslie lays in bed waiting for Howard and manages to seduce him but afterwards, she is plagued by nightmares about Harry. The next morning, Howard goes to play golf and Leslie starts to get ready but when she brushes her teeth, she finds that she has grown a pair of fangs and thinks she is still having a nightmare. Realizing that she is awake, she looks for a dentist in the phone book and Jennifer tells Leslie that she saw her with another man at lunch but Leslie tells her she is imagining things. Leslie goes to the dentist and he tries to file down the fangs but is unsuccessful. Leaving the dentist’s office, Leslie stops by a butcher shop and orders some pork chops, then proceeds to eat them raw as she heads home. At the Shaber house, Jennifer is having a Halloween party and when Leslie shows up, the people think she is in costume. Heading into the bathroom, she sees that her arms and legs are covered in hair and she proceeds to try and shave it all off only for it to grow back in. Jennifer sees Leslie trying to sneak back to her room when the party is over and confronts Leslie about her strange behavior and realizes that her mom is becoming a werewolf. When Harry shows up at the house, Jennifer refuses to let him in but he mesmerizes her into thinking he is a friend and she lets him in before she leaves the house. Harry goes up to the bedroom and Leslie asks what he did to her. Harry tells her he had planned to kill her but changed his mind and decided to make her his mate so he could ensure his species survives. When Howard comes home, Harry quickly leaves, saying he will see her tomorrow while Leslie removes or breaks all of the lights in the bedroom so Howard can’t see her. When Howard sees Leslie in bed, he attempts to have sex with her but when he feels her legs, he thinks their dog is on the bed, and shoos the dog out when it does jump on the bed. Meanwhile, Jennifer goes to see Stacey and tells her about her mom, but Stacey thinks Jennifer is just making fun of her love for horror movies. Not knowing what to do and thinking back to the fortune teller, she goes to see her but Madame Gypsy doesn’t believe her either. The next day, Leslie looks normal and goes to her hair appointment but Jennifer and Stacey follow her and witness her as she starts to change. Stacey tells Jennifer that the only way to save her mom is to kill the one that turned her and Jennifer arms herself with garlic, holy water, and a cross but Stacey says that won’t work, As they approach the house, they see Harry outside and Harry mesmerizes Jennifer and heads inside the house. Inside, Leslie has transformed and attacks Harry but he transforms and begins fighting back. Meanwhile, Jennifer makes herself some armor and fashions a spear using a silver fork. Howard shows up and Jennifer tries to warn him not to head upstairs but he does and sees the two werewolves fighting and quickly backs out of the room. Jennifer heads inside as the police are called and manages to stab Harry but he doesn’t immediately die. Leslie starts to attack Jennifer but Jennifer manages to calm her down as the police, Howard, and Stacey enter the room and witness Leslie changing back to human as Harry dies. Leslie has no memory of what happened after going to the hair dresser and Jennifer proceeds to explain to everyone what went on. The next morning, the news arrives to report on the incident while Madame Gypsy shows up and uses the event to help promote herself. That night, Howard apologizes to Leslie for taking her for granted and the two make up. Meanwhile, Stacey calls Jennifer and warns her that according to Fangoria magazine, if an exorcism isn’t performed, the one that kills the werewolf becomes a werewolf. Jennifer says good night and hangs up but as she turns out the light to go to sleep, she is shown to have fangs and she quickly calls Stacey and tells her to come over and bring the magazine.

Yup, this movie is just as cheesy as I thought, and also just as stupidly funny. The acting was good, with Susan Blakely (Leslie), Tina Caspary (Jennifer), and John Schuck (Howard) doing good jobs in their roles. I also thought that Diana Barrows made for some good comedy relief as Stacey, but thought John Saxon played his part of Harry a little too stiffly. The story was pretty good, basically being a pretty light-hearted horror comedy, though the nitpicker in me had an issue with the whole mesmerizing bit, since I don’t recall ever hearing about werewolves having that ability. The special effects and makeup were pretty ridiculous but that actually added to the charm of this movie. Not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but it does provide some laughs and can be a good guilty pleasure movie.

Rating: 3 out of 5

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