Happy Thanksgiving everyone. So before I get ready to stuff myself on turkey, dressing, I might as well get today’s movie review over with. Alas, it is time to finish up the letter “P”, and this particular series of giant snake movies. One thing you have to love about the Sci-Fi/SYFY channel is that they love to show a good “Vs.” movie, and of course, I love to watch a good “Vs.” movie. Today’s movie essentially ties together two giant snake movies that were produced by the same company; Boa and Python. So let’s see how good of a movie they made as I watch Boa Vs Python.
The plot: In York, Pennsylvania, a transport plane arrives and unloads a large container from the plane into a tractor trailer. Once the unloading is complete, the man in charge, Ramon, makes a call to Broddick, a wealthy businessman who is financing the operation. Ramon tells Broddick that his package has arrived from Asia and Broddick says to call if there are any problems, then turns his attention back to his girlfriend Eve as they watch a luchador match between two wrestlers named Boa and Python. As the truck and it’s convoy head off into the night, they are forced to stop when whatever is inside the container wakes up and begins thrashing about. Ramon grabs a tranquilizer gun and has one of his men open a hatch so he can use it but when the hatch is opened, a giant tail bursts out and begins whipping around, striking anyone close by. Some of Ramon’s men start shooting at the tail and accidentally hit the control panel, causing the cage to open and Ramon prepares a bomb to kill whatever is about to emerge but he ends up being killed and the bomb explodes underneath one of the escort cars. The next morning, Broddick and Eve are on Broddick’s private plane when they learn of the accident and Broddick is upset at first, as he has arranged to have several wealthy people hunt the giant snake he had captured but instead, he has Eve call the men and says they are rescheduling the hunt to occur where the accident happened. At the accident site, FBI Agent Sharp arrives on the scene and after avoiding talking to local reporter Kent Humphries, he examines the container and finds a large scale on the floor. Continuing looking around, he sees an access tunnel that had been torn open and learning that it leads to the water treatment plant, which had called in that some workers were attacked by a giant snake, he orders the plant closed down and asks his partner to pull up the files on the Larson Project, a CIA op that went bad. Agent Sharp contacts Monica Bonds, a marine biologist that works with Navy dolphins, and they head to West Virginia to meet with Dr. Emmett, a herpetologist who has bred and raised a 70 foot Scarlet Boa named Betty. Meanwhile, Broddick picks up the other hunters (Tex, Foley, Danner, James, and Littlefield) and the fly off towards Philadelphia to hunt the snake. Back in West Virginia, Sharpe explains what he wants to do and Emmett reluctantly agrees to allow Monica to attach her equipment in order for them to hunt and kill the python. As the surgery commences, the python manages to get out of the plant and kills two teenagers, as well as Kent Humphries. When the surgery is complete and Betty recovers, Sharp has Betty transported and released into the tunnels, while he follows with Monica, Emmett, and a group of soldiers. Meanwhile, Broddick and his hunters have arrived in Philadelphia and head off into the woods after the python. As they split up, Foley gets impatient and rushes ahead and Tex chases after him but when the two of them get separated, Tex encounters the python and is killed. When the rest of the hunters arrive where Tex was attacked, Eve shows up and shows them where the python has gone into the tunnels and they head back to the vans to get more equipment so they con go in after it. In the tunnels, Monica’s equipment malfunctions due to the tunnel walls and as she tries to get it working again, the soldiers go on ahead of them and encounter Betty. Betty kills two of the soldiers before Emmett is able to get them on the radio and have them shoot the pipes and use the steam to cover their escape. Once the soldiers are clear, Monica is able to get the video feed back and they see Betty mating with the python before she loses it again. Emmett gets an idea to trap the snakes in a drainage tunnel but when they notice some other GPS signals in the tunnel, they go to warn whoever is in there only for Sharpe to accidentally be killed by Foley. As Emmett, Monica, Danner, and James go to check on him, Foley is killed by the python, which then kills Danner as he tries to shoot it. James shoots at the python while Emmett and Monica make a run for it and Emmett tries to get James to come with them but he stands there as the water rushes into the tunnel. Meanwhile, Broddick, Eve, and Littlefield find a nest of eggs but when Betty shows up, Eve drops one of the eggs and Betty kills Eve. Broddick and Littlefield try attacking Betty but Betty kills Littlefield and stuns Broddick, but not before he shoots her in the head and damages her camera unit. Emmett and Monica manage to hide from the python and they start to head back to the surface when they run into Broddick, who attacks Emmett before he gets arrested. When they arrive at the FBI’s base camp, the learn about the nest and see a video feed of the python eating the eggs. Discovering that an underground rave is occurring in the evacuated area of the city, they go to stop it as they realize the snakes are heading there and that Broddick has escaped custody and gone after them. Reaching the club, they find Broddick there attacking the snakes, and the soldiers, with a flamethrower and when he goes to attack Monica, Emmett shoots him with a tranquilizer and the two snakes rip him in half and eat the pieces. As the snakes continue fighting, they end up crashing through into the subway tunnels and the python starts to get the upper hand. Emmett uses a control spike in Betty’s head to electrocute her, throwing her off the tracks just as a train strikes the python and decapitates it. Emmett and Monica embrace but then discover that Betty has disappeared so they gear up and head back into the tunnels to find her and the remaining eggs and take them back to Emmett’s lab.
Though it was panned by the critics, this was a pretty entertaining movie to watch. The acting was ok, with several actors doing good jobs in their different roles. Though he wasn’t there long, I really liked Kirk B.R. Woller, who kind of played his character the same way that Clark Gregg plays Agent Coulson on Agent’s Of S.H.I.E.L.D. The story was pretty simplistic and did a good job of tying it into the previous Python movies, though there really wasn’t much of a way to tie it in to Boa. The special effects were decent and definitely better than Python 2. All in all, a fun movie to watch and laugh at.
Rating: 3 out of 5