Ahh, the teen sex comedy. These movies are always good for some mindless TV watching whenever they are on. I mean, the plot is generally the same for all of them and there isn’t much that you really have to pay attention too, just laugh at the crazy antics on screen. And to think, most of those comedies wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for today’s movie. I can remember seeing the case for this movie in the video stores all the time as I was a kid and of course, it would be one of those movies that I would also see on late night TV and would wind up watching several times thinking it was very funny. Let’s see if it still holds up as I watch today’s movie, Porky’s.
The plot: In southern Florida, Billy and Tommy are discussing a joke they are going to play on some of their friends as they drive to Angel Beach High School. After getting into the parking lot, they are joined by their friend Mickey, who is in on the joke, and they tell him that everything is ready. As they are walking to class, they are approached by Wendy, who is asking for Billy’s help in getting revenge on Pee Wee, another member of their group of friends. As she walks off, Billy explains to Mickey that they had set Pee Wee up on a date with Wendy and he was so eager to lose his virginity, he wore a condom on his date. During gym class, Tommy runs afoul of Beulah Balbricker, the head female coach, while Coach Roy Brackett asks Coach Fred Warren why they call Lynn Honeywell “Lassie” and Fred tells him to take her up to the equipment room. As they guys are getting changed in the locker room, Billy suggests asking Brian, a new kid in school, to come with them but their friend Tim says he doesn’t want a Jew around and Billy drops it. When Pee Wee sees that the girls are heading for the shower, he sneaks down into a crawlspace with Billy and Mickey so they can spy on them as they shower but they get there too late and have to be quiet so they aren’t discovered by Balbricker. That night, Tommy, Billy, and Mickey drive 5 guys, including Pee Wee, Tim, and Meat, to a shack out in the everglades. Inside, they tell the guys to get undressed and bring out an exotic dancer named Cherry Forever, who is there to sleep with them. Tommy and Billy head into the bedroom and Cherry starts moaning and pretending to have sex, while the two boys pour fake blood on a machete and Tommy. Cherry breaks a window and Tommy staggers out of the room, followed by a large black man, who works for Tommy’s father and is in on the joke. The man raises the bloody machete and scares off the other kids but most of them soon realize it was a joke. However, Pee Wee had run off down the road and is eventually picked up by two police officers, one of whom is Mickey’s brother Ted. The police take Pee Wee to the local malt shop to rejoin his friends and as they leave, Tim’s father, an abusive ex-con, shows up and berates Tim and tells him to go home. The next day, Wendy gives Pee Wee a giant condom as a gag gift and Tommy starts joking around with it but runs into Balbricker, who speaks with the head coach and has Tommy suspended for two games. That night, Tommy, Mickey, Tim, Pee Wee, and Meat head to Porky’s, a strip club in a neighboring county, and talk to the owner, Porky Wallace, about taking some of the girls into a back room for sex. Porky takes their money and instructs them to wait in a room but Porky pulls a lever and ends up dumping them into the swamp. Mickey goes back inside and wants to fight Porky but Porky has them all thrown out of his club. The county sheriff, who happens to be Porky’s brother, shows up and ends up extorting the rest of the boys money out of them before sending them home. When they get to Deadbeats, a local burger joint in their town, Mickey wants to go back and get even with Porky but his brother shows up and convinces him to go home. The next day in gym class, Tim trips up Brian and ends up getting suspended. After insulting him in the locker room, the two agree to fight after school and Brian gets the best of Tim before Coach Brackett breaks it up. Tommy and Billy talk with Brian afterwards to try and apologize for Tim’s behavior. That night, as the gang is at Deadbeats, Mickey shows up with his face all bruised up, having gone back to Porky’s to try and get revenge. When they try to take him to a hospital, Mickey breaks free and drives off and Billy and Tommy realize that they are going to have to keep an eye on him. The next day at school, Tim shows up with a black eye and bruise on his face and when Brian says it wasn’t because of the fight with him, he learns that Tim’s father beat him up for losing a fight to a Jew so he goes to speak with Coach Warren. Meanwhile, Roy tries to get Lynn to go to the equipment room with him but she refuses until they have a run in with Balbricker, and Lynn gets upset and grabs Roy and heads up the stairs. Inside the room, the smell of the equipment room excites Lynn and she jumps onto Roy and the two start having sex, causing Lynn to moan and scream real loud, which is heard by everyone in the gym. Later, Billy, Tommy, and Pee Wee sneak down to spy on the girls showering but when Pee Wee yells at a girl to move out of the way, most of the girls run but a few stay behind. Tommy tries teasing the girls by first sticking his tongue through the hole and then his penis but Balbricker shows up and grabs onto his penis but Tommy is able to get free and escape. Balbricker swears it is him and goes to the principal to organize a police style line-up so she can identify the “offending penis” due to a mole on it, but the coaches and principal end up laughing at the idea. Later that night, at a school dance, Tim’s father shows up to try and pick a fight with Brian but Tim stands up to his father and after he gets hit a few times, Ted steps in and stops the fight and makes him leave. Later, Mickey shows up badly beaten and has to be taken away in an ambulance. When Ted plans to head over to Porky’s, the boys all want to go too and Brian comes up with a plan. As Brian goes to look around Porky’s, Tim gets in the car with him and the two head off. A few nights later, the kids, along with Roy, head over to Porky’s and start cutting away the supports to the club, as well as sabotaging the sheriff’s police cars. They then call out Porky and when he steps outside, they end up causing the club to collapse. As the boys head back to Angel Beach, Porky chases after them, stopping to pick up his brother along the way, but when they cross the county line, they are greated by Ted as well as the school’s marching band and dozens of the students. Realizing the trouble he can get in because of underage kids being in his club, he stands by as he watches Ted damages his car, then forces his brother to agree to Ted’s demand that they simply let what happened be forgotten. As everyone celebrates, Pee Wee is upset because he doesn’t think he will have sex but Tommy tells him he made a bet with Wendy and since they pulled it off, she would sleep with Pee Wee. As Pee Wee and Wendy have sex, Balbricker is sneaking around in the bushes and attacks Tommy but as she pulls his pant’s down, she is pulled off by the police.
Porky’s met with negative response from the critics, holding a 30% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. While there isn’t a critical consensus on the site, Siskel and Ebert called it the worst movie of 1982 and criticized it’s objectification and degradation of women and the childish nature of its antagonists. While the movie was written and directed by an American, it was produced by a Canadian company, and would wind up being one of the highest grossing Canadian films in Canada’s domestic box office. The movie was a box office hit, earning $105 million off of a $25 million budget and would spawn two sequels, as well as influencing many teen sex comedies for years to come.
Yes, this is somewhat offensive on several fronts, but this is also a pretty funny movie. The acting was pretty decent although except for one or two instances, there really wasn’t much in the way of character development among the main characters. The story was entertaining and definitely showcased your average group of high school students and how they would joke around with each other, albeit somewhat exaggerated at times. Outside of the shower scene, there really wasn’t as much nudity as you would expect in this movie but the lack of nudity and sex actually made more sense as it helped illustrate the guys’, especially Pee Wee’s, constant desire to have sex but not being able to obtain it. There were a lot of funny moments, some made even funnier by the stuff going on in the background, like everyone’s reaction when “Lassie” starts moaning out while having sex. If you feel in the mood for a teen sex comedy, then this is definitely worth watching.
Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5