Ten years before we were introduced to the MCU, people actually got a chance to see Nick Fury in a made for TV movie. I remember the first time I saw this movie was purely by chance. I was channel surfing several years ago and happened to see some movie with David Hasselhoff wearing an eye-patch. I only had to watch for a few seconds before I realized who he was playing. I only saw the last 30 minutes or so of the movie that night and never got another chance to see it for quite a while. To be honest, I don’t know why I decided to buy this movie but I did so I have no choice but to see how good or bad Nick Fury: Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. really is.
The plot: At Trinity Base, a top secret cryogenics storage facility, two guards are staring at the frozen body of Baron Wolfgang Von Strucker when one of the guards, Private Vaughn, shoots the other one. Vaughn deactivates the defense grid and radios an approaching Hydra force that it is clear to proceed, before he sets off a gas bomb in the ventilation ducts to take out the remaining guards. As the Hydra forces make their way into the base, the wounded guard, Clay Quartermain, manages to kill some of them before he is shot again and the Hydra leader mocks his dying words to Nick. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents Alexander Goodwin Pierce and Contessa Valentina de Allegro Fontaine head to the Yukon to find Nick Fury, who was forcibly retired 5 years ago, and tell him that he has been reinstated. Nick refuses at first but when he hears that Hydra stole Strucker’s body, he changes his mind. Arriving at the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier, Nick is reunited with his friend Timothy “Dum Dum” Dugan, who escorts him to the science lab when they run into Director General Jack Pincer, who is not pleased to see Nick and threatens to fire him again if he acts up. In the science lab, Nick greets his friend Gabriel Jones and gives him a gun that is keyed to Nick’s bio readings before showing him a prototype of his new invention, a Life Model Decoy. In the meeting room, Nick watches the replay of Quartermain’s death and learns that the female Hydra leader is Andrea Von Strucker, Wolfgang’s daughter, and that along with her brother Werner, she is reuniting the Hydra splinter groups. Pierce asks why they stole Stucker’s body and Nick says it is because of the Death’s Head Virus, a lethal virus that was originally created during WWII and the only remaining remnants of it are inside Strucker’s body. Learning that Arnim Zola, the scientist that created the virus, is still alive, Nick decides to head to the Berlin, believing that Hydra will go after him next. At Hydra’s headquarters, Andrea is having a video meeting with the Hydra lieutenants, where she berates them for fighting with each other and questioning her authority before showing them the captured lieutenant based in London and shooting him as a to solidify her control over the organization. In Berlin, Nick and Contessa are waiting to meet with an Interpol agent when they find her dealing with a Hydra agent. As more agents come after them, Nick and Contessa lead the Interpol agent to the secret safe house. Inside, they find Kate Neville, a S.H.I.E.L.D. psychic, preparing to read Zola’s mind but she finds that someone has already been there and laid a psychic boobytrap for her. As Nick and Contessa discuss moving Zola to another location, the Interpol agent tells Nick to meet her alone as she feels the safehouse has been compromised. When the two alone, the agent incapacitates Nick and then kisses him before revealing herself to be Andrea and saying that the kiss is what will kill him before he passes out. Nick regains consciousness on board the helicarrier and is told that the poison is a synthetic version of tree frog poison. The only hope for a cure is to get a blood sample of the woman that kissed him, as she must have an immunity to it. Pincer shows up and starts yelling at Nick, who suddenly pulls out his gun and starts firing at a second Pincer that was coming up behind him. The second Pincer is a robot, which projects a message from Andrea saying that a bomb with the Death’s Head Virus has been planted in Manhattan and will be detonated unless she receives $1 billion. At a video conference with the President, Nick and the other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents explain the situation and while Pincer wants to simply bomb the Hydra base when they find it, Nick says that is a bad idea and suggests two teams, one to find the bomb and disarm it while the other team finds the base. Nick tells Contessa to find the bomb, which they believe will be hidden inside a truck with a refrigeration unit, while he, Pierce, and Kate go to the Hydra base, which they think might be on an island. As Nick speaks with Gabriel about loading the L.M.D. onto his plane, Pincer orders Nick not to go, saying he isn’t fit to lead a mission, and threatens to throw him in the brig if he does. Gabriel says he agrees with Pincer but Nick says there is no one better to lead the mission and heads off against orders, with Pierce and Kate agreeing to go along. Contessa and her team find a possible truck but discover that it is a decoy and keep looking. Meanwhile, Nick and his team find the island base but when a pair of heat seekers are shot at them, the three agents are forced to bail out. Loosing communications with Nick, Dugan has Contessa follow up on the last possible bomb location, which turns out to be a garbage truck. Pincer wants to blow up the truck but Dugan says that the winds would carry to virus to Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey so they need to disarm it. Back on the island, Nick and the others make it to shore and proceed to make their way inside the base but end up being captured. They are taken to Andrea, who tells Fury she plans to lead a new revolution before having them searched and placed in a meat freezer. Meanwhile, the garbage truck heads to a shipping yard and the Hydra team sets up to launch the missiles carrying the virus into the city. As the deadline approaches, Dugan tells Val to go ahead and secure the missiles and she does, killing Werner in the process. Back at Hydra headquarters, Nick pulls out a fake eyeball from his socket and, telling the others it is a small explosive, he uses it to blow the door to the freezer so they can escape. As they deal with the guards, Nick starts feeling the effects of the poison and tells Pierce and Kate to go ahead and finish the mission. As Andrea and Zola gloat over their plan, Nick manages to make it into their room and begins fighting with Andrea while Zola is incapacitated when he tries to use Nick’s gun against him. Andrea shoots Nick and bends down to gloat over the body only for Nick to speak up behind her, saying she just killed his L.M.D. Nick takes Andrea prisoner, then opens the chamber to let Pierce and Kate in before he closes it again. Nick has Pierce contact S.H.I.E.L.D. and after Kate manages to get the codes from Andrea’s mind, they stop the missiles from launching. As the helicarrier arrives to secure the base, a second countdown starts up but as they try to figure out what it is, Nick realizes it was merely a distraction as Andrea manages to escape with the frozen body of her father. Back on the helicarrier, Nick is given the antidote for the poison when Pincer approaches him and plans to bring up charges on Nick, prompting Nick to knock him out. Nick and Contessa patch things up and make plans to go after Viper and the rest of Hydra, as well as any other threats that occur, while in a secret Hydra base, Wolfgang Von Strucker is returned to life and walks off with his daughter to prepare a new plan to conquer the world.
Wow. That’s about all I can say. This is definitely not a good movie but there is something oddly entertaining about it. Maybe it is the somewhat over the top acting because that was definitely prevalent throughout the movie, particularly with Hasselhoff (Nick Fury) and Sandra Hess (Andrea). The story was ok, but kind of fell victim to having too many different things going on at once so that it seemed rather unfocused. The fact that this was a made for TV movie showed in the special effects area, as they were definitely some low quality work, especially the helicarrier. It’s not the worst comic book movie out there but for some reason, I find watching it very entertaining, but that might be because of how bad it is.
Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5