movie, movie review, Uncategorized

April 27th, 2016 Movie – Almighty Thor

almighty thor

No surprise here as to what today’s movie is a mockbuster of. The funny thing is, I am surprised that no one came up with the idea sooner. I mean, Thor is a figure from Norse mythology so even though Marvel has a trademark on their portrayal of him (I think this is the case but I am not 100% certain), any media can use the character. Still, most people tend to associate Thor with the Marvel character so I guess they wanted to wait before attempting something like this. Still, the announcement that Marvel would be doing a feature film of Thor was just what they were hoping for when the Asylum decided to make today’s movie, Almighty Thor.

The plot: The demon Loki opens up a portal to Asgard and begins attacking the Asgardian soldiers protecting the city of Valhalla. Odin, the king of Asgard, has been summoned to see the Norns but, feeling something evil is approaching, sends his sons Baldir and Thor back to Valhalla but they refuse to leave and continue following him. Inside the Norns’ cave, the three Norns tell Odin that Loki has come for the Hammer of Invincibility in order to bring about Ragnarok and that Odin will be unable to stop it. Odin refuses to believe it and leaves along with Baldir but Thor stays behind and tells the Norns that he doesn’t believe in fate. The three return to Valhalla and begin attacking Loki’s giant demonic dogs but during the battle, Thor is knocked unconscious when the demon he kills falls on him. Odin faces off against Loki and appears to get the upper hand but before he can kill him, Loki uses his magic to disappear. Loki continues to use his magic to confuse Odin and when Odin throws attempts to throw his spear at Loki, he actually kills Baldir instead. As Odin kneels in grief by his dead son, Loki uses the opportunity to stab Odin in the back but before he can claim the hammer, Odin knocks Loki aside and throws the hammer into a portal before he dies. Unable to find out from Odin where the hammer was sent, Loki sends his demon dogs to locate the hammer. Thor regains consciousness and races to the bodies of Baldir and Odin and as he tries to save Odin, Odin stops him and tells him where he sent the hammer and says that he must keep it from Loki. Enraged at the deaths of his family, Thor races off to challenge Loki but when he catches up to him, Loki toys with Thor while asking where Odin sent the hammer. Just before Loki can kill Thor, a Valkyrie named Jarnsaxa rescues Thor and leads him to safety. Taking Thor through a portal to a hidden training camp, Jarnsaxa shows plans on taking Thor to the Tree of Life in order to grab the hammer but when she sees that the portal is destroyed, she is at a loss as to what to do next. Meanwhile, Loki has arrived at the area where the training camp is located but even though he can hear Thor, he is unable to enter due to the protective spells. Jarnsaxa tries to train Thor in becoming a better warrior but before she can start, Loki’s demon dogs dig their way into the camp and they are forced to flee. Thor wants to ambush Loki but Jarnsaxa insists that he isn’t ready to face him and that they must go to Midgard, where they can find another way to the Tree of Life. Reaching the portal, they find that one of the demon dogs is guarding it but Jansaxa manages to lure it away so they can enter the portal. Before they can enter, Loki appears but Jarnsaxa uses an illusion to make Loki believe the ax she throws is the hammer, allowing them to escape. On Midgard, Jarnsaxa leads Thor to a safe house she has on Midgard, and shows him how to use a gun before they leave for where the portal is. Loki follows them to Midgard and uses his magic to track down where they went, but is unable to enter the safe house due to the runes protecting it. Jarnsaxa leads Thor to the portal and with his help, is able to open the portal to the Tree of Life. Leading Thor towards the heart of the Tree of Life, Jarnsaxa tells him that he must defeat the sentinel that guards the tree or he won’t be able to claim the hammer and stop Loki. Thor defeats the sentinel and makes his way to the heart of the Tree of Life, where he hears Odin’s voice telling him to take the hammer and use it to change his fate. Thor grabs the hammer and heads back to Midgard with Jarnsaxa and she says they should train so Thor will be better prepared to face Loki but Thor is impatient and since he has the hammer, believes he will be able to defeat Loki. Thor finds Loki but before he can attack him, Loki uses his magic to attack Thor. Jarnsaxa cuts off Loki’s hand and takes Thor to safety but Loki tries using his magic to mess with Thor’s mind. Thor leaves Jarnsaxa and heads off alone to track down Loki and upon finding him, manages to disarm Loki. Grabbing the bone Loki was using, Thor moves to destroy it but Loki says that if he does, he won’t be able to bring his father and brother back to life. Without the bone, Loki appears to melt away and Thor believes he has stopped Ragnarok from occurring. However, when he returns to the safe house and attempts to use the bone to bring his father and brother back to life, the bone dissappears to reveal Loki standing there. Jarnsaxa manages to shoot Loki and they escape, but when she tries to use a portal to send Thor to safety, Thor refuses to leave Midgard to be destroyed by Loki. Loki summons some more creatures and attacks Thor but Thor is able to temporarily beat Loki. Loki grabs a gun from Thor and shoots him in the arm but Jarnsaxa saves Thor again and tries to teleport Thor to safety but Loki grabs Jarnsaxa and drags her out of the portal. Thor heals himself and returns to find a badly wounded Jarnsaxa but it turns out to be a disguised Loki, who grabs the hammer and beats Thor. Sending his creatures to destroy the world, Loki opens a portal to hell and drops Jarnsaxa and Thor into it. Thor manages to survive and hearing his father’s voice call out to him, he plunges his hands into the lava and uses the molten rock to forge a new hammer. Thor returns to Midgard and battles Loki again, destroying the Hammer of Invincibility and killing Loki, sending the demonic creatures to burrow back into the earth. Thor returns to the Norns’ cave, where the chastise him for killing Loki and defying fate but Thor destroys the cloth that they were weaving, telling them that the fate of the world is now in the hands of the people that live there.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Asylum films, I really do, but this movie is bad on so many levels. The acting was incredibly stiff among just about everyone. Richard Grieco (Loki) was absolutely terrible and I know he was supposed to come off as immature but Cody Deal just seemed childish through the movie. The story was ok at first but just seemed to fall apart and get confused. I liked the designs for the creatures but the camera work was kind of bad, sometimes reusing footage in very close sequences. The sword fights were also some of the worst I have seen in a long while, which was pretty disappointing for a movie like this. Regardless on if you like the Marvel movie or not, it is a much better option to watch than this movie.

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5


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