I am going to enjoy the next couple of movies because they are all from one of my favorite studios, The Asylum. Today’s movie is one of their famous “mockbusters”, this one being a mockbuster for Piranha 3D. There are a number of reasons why I enjoy this movie, not the least of which being the reaction from some of my friends when they watched it. So let’s just go ahead and get right into today’s movie, Mega Piranha.
The plot: On the Orinoco River in Venezuela, a young couple go for a swim and wind up getting attacked and killed by some large piranha. Some time later, a US Ambassador and the Venezuelan Foreign Minister are traveling down the river by boat when boat is attacked and sunk, with everyone on board being killed. Special Forces operative Jason Fitch receives a call from Secretary of State Bob Grady and is ordered to head down to Venezuela and help Colonel Antonio Diaz’s investigation in order to find out what happened. Meanwhile, Sarah Monroe and her associates, Dr. Eli Gordon and Dr. Brian Higgins, are taking samples from the river and realize that a group of genetically modified piranha that they were working on caused the wreck and that the piranha are continuing to grow. When Fitch arrives in Venezuela, Sarah tries talking to him and telling him what she knows and tells him to try and convince Diaz to help her destroy the fish. Fitch is taken to the military base where he meets Diaz, who is adamant that the boat was destroyed by an explosion and refuses to allow Fitch to investigate. Fitch sneak out of the base and hires a boat to take him where the ambassador was killed, updating Secretary Grady on what was going on along the way. Reaching where he wanted to go, Fitch dives into the river to investigate and comes across a dam, which he is forced to climb over. On the other side of the dam, Fitch is attacked by a school of piranha but manages to get away when he wounds one of them, causing the others to pounce on it in a feeding frenzy. Fitch reaches the shore to catch his breath when a piranha leaps out of the water and attacks him but Fitch manages to kill it. Returning back to the base, Fitch shows Diaz the dead fish, telling him that the giant piranha were responsible for the boat’s destruction, then heads to the lab, where Sarah and the others begin examining the fish. Secretary Grady calls Fitch and tells him to get back to the base as Diaz is up to something, Sarah decides to go with him. When they get there, they learn that Diaz is sending helicopters up the river to try and kill the fish and they warn him that it won’t work but Diaz refuses to listen and goes through with his plan. The next day, Diaz accompanies Fitch to Sarah’s lab and takes Sarah into custody and tells his men to arrest Fitch as well but Fitch manages to escape. Meanwhile, some more of Diaz’s men were searching the river for Eli and Brian, who were checking the make sure all the piranha were killed, when a group of piranha sink a gunboat and kill all the men on board. The next morning, Eli and Brian manage to get away from one soldier when he is killed by piranha but they are soon captured and taken to Diaz’s base. Inside the base, Diaz is torturing Brian and trying to get him to sign papers saying Sarah and the others were members of the CIA conducting illegal experiments but Brian refuses. Diaz orders the three scientists to be taken to a secret facility but Fitch follows them. When there is a disturbance in the town harbor, Fitch manages to rescue the scientists but before they leave, they witness the piranha, grown to even larger size now, attacking people and buildings in the harbor and Brian ends up getting killed. As they make there way up the river, Fitch calls Secretary Grady and tells him to bomb the mouth of the river where it meets the ocean, and Grady arranges to have a battleship go pass the coast and attack on Fitch’s signal. Fitch, Sarah, and Eli make their way to the coast but are chased by Diaz and his men. Reaching the river mouth, Fitch calls in an SOS and the ship begins firing , seemingly killing all of the fish. As Fitch and the others head towards the evac point, They are shocked to see even larger piranha’s suddenly leaping out into the ocean, where they proceed to destroy the battleship and make their way north. Fitch steals one of Diaz’s choppers and after managing to shake Diaz, uses it to fly to the International Super Bunker. Inside the bunker, the Naval commander on board tells them that a nuclear sub is tracking the piranhas and preparing to fire a nuclear torpedo at the giant fish in order to kill them but the piranhas survive the blast and destroy the sub. With the piranhas on a course to reach Florida in an hour, Grady is preparing to call the president and order a nuclear strike off the coast of Florida in order to kill the fish but Fitch manages to convince him to give him another shot at killing the fish, telling him his plan to have the fish kill each other instead. Fitch and Eli go with a team of Navy Seals and they drop into the ocean off the Florida coast, just as the piranha are beginning to attack the Florida Keys. Using special weapons and armor piercing rounds, Fitch and the Seals try to wound the piranhas but their weapons aren’t working so Fitch wants a helicopter to prepare a bomb they can use inside the piranhas’ mouth. However, Colonel Diaz shows up and destroys the helicopter, then lowers a cable down to retrieve Eli and Fitch, unaware who is in the helicopter. When Fitch climbs aboard the helicopter, Eli gets shot during a schuffle but Fitch manages to kill the pilot and, after dropping a life raft and pushing Eli out of the helicopter, punches Diaz and throws a lure onto the helicopter before he jumps out. Attracted by the lure, a piranha leaps out of the water and attacks the helicopter, killing Diaz. Fitch heads back underwater and shoots the helicopter wreckage in the piranha’s mouth, causing an explosion that wounds the giant fish. Attracted by the blood, the other piranha’s begin attacking the injured fish and starting a feeding frenzy. With the fish apparently killing each other off, Fitch, Eli, and the surviving Seals head back to the bunker, where Fitch ends up kissing Sarah as the sun sets.
Simply put, this movie is one of those B-movies that is entertaining to watch because it is so bad. The acting was pretty decent, with Paul Logan and Tiffany both doing a good job as their respective leads. The plot was pretty interesting but there really wasn’t an ending, as they basically had one piranha being killed in the frenzy and let it be assumed that all of the other piranhas would be killed in the frenzy as well. The special effects were about what you would expect, but they made for some funny scenes, such as Fitch’s getting knocked to the ground and having to bicycle kick at the piranha that are leaping out of the water at him, or the times piranhas are jumping out of the water and crashing into buildings, or during the car chase when both Fitch’s and Diaz’s car would change models during the entire chase. Personally, I liked the fact that most of the guns they were using in the underwater scene were Nerf guns that were painted black. Either way, it is a lot of fun to watch because of how ridiculous it is.
Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5