Sooooo, I have this box set of movies, which is not that uncommon on it’s own. But this particular box set is one that I did not buy and I honestly don’t know how I came to possess it. See, the box set is called Girls, Guns, and G-Strings and contains a series of films by Andy Sidaris known as the “Triple B” series or L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies series. The movies star several Playboy Playmates and Penthouse Pets, and are one of the reasons for calling Cinemax’s late night programming “Skinemax”. I will admit that I have seen several of these movies as a teenager but I am still curious as to how these DVDs came to be here. I guess that is a mystery to be solved at another date. Might as well get on with today’s movie, Malibu Express.
The plot: Private investigator Cody Abilene heads to the gun range for some shooting practice, but misses the target with every shot. He then goes to watch his friend June Khnockers (with an H) doing some practice laps in her race car before he heads back home to his dad’s yacht. Meanwhile, Contessa Luciana hires Cody to investigate her friend, Lady Lillian Chamberlain, to see if she is selling computer technology to the Russians. As he is about to head to Lady Chamberlain’s house, Cody is stopped by the Buffington family, who have a longstanding grudge against Cody’s dad, and challenged to a race, which Cody loses. Arriving at the Chamberlain mansion, Cody meets Lady Chamberlain, as well as the rest of her family, Lillian’s nephew Stuart, his wife Anita, and their daughter Liza, as well as Lillian’s staff, her butler/chauffeur Shane and her maid Marion. After dinner, Shane goes to the gym with his cop friend Beverly, where he watches her work out. The next day, Cody gives Liza a lift to see her friend Johnathan Harper, who runs a company that sells computers worldwide that Liza is helping fund. While they are there, three men (Matthew, Mark, and Luke) show up and Johnathan has them follow Cody when he leaves, where they warn him to stay away from the place before shooting his car and sending him walking in the desert. Managing to find a used car lot, Cody gets a new car and heads back to the house to snoop around. At the house, he learns that Shane is an ex-con, who has taken videos and pictures of him sleeping with Anita, which he shows her to try and blackmail her into giving him $30,000 to pay off his gambling debts. Shane is also trying to blackmail Stuart and expose him as a gay crossdresser. During a party the Lady Lillian hosts, Shane’s bookie shows up and threatens him if he doesn’t get the money soon. After the party is over, Shane is killed but he manages to take a picture of his killer. The next morning, Cody and Luciana discover Shane’s body and Cody tells Luciana to go ahead and leave while he handles things with the police. Seeing movement in Shane’s room, he goes in to find Anita rummaging through Shane’s furniture and he sends her to get the rest of the family and meet him by the pool. When she leaves, Shane looks through the cabinet and finds a camera with blood on it and takes the film from it. Beverly and her partner arrive and after speaking with the family, show them the pictures of Shane with Anita, which they said were delivered to the station that morning. Lillian recognizes the location in the pictures as being in her beach house and gives Cody the key to it so he and Beverly can look around. The two decide to have sex and while in the bed, Cody finds the remote control for a video camera that Shane had set up. Meanwhile, having been tipped off by Marion that Cody and Beverly would be there, two men show up to kill them but Beverly manages to shoot them both. Cody heads back to his boat, but finds Faye and May, the two girls in the slip next to him in his bed. Mathew, Mark, and Luke show up at the boat looking for the film but Cody manages to shoot Mathew in the ear and chase them off. The next day, Beverly calls Cody and tells him that they arrested Stuart after finding pictures of him with Shane and Cody admits that he has a role of film which he believes is what everyone is after. Cody calls June and to see if her photographer friend Rodney is working there, then he and Beverly go to the racetrack to have Rodney develop the film. When the film is developed, the find a picture of the killer and head back to the car, but Mathew, Mark, and Luke show up and shoot Beverly in the shoulder. Cody leads the men away and ends up getting in June’s race car and driving off, with the three men hijacking a helicopter to chase them. The three get ahead of Cody and plan on ambushing him but when the helicopter leaves, Mathew is distracted and ends up getting hit by Cody, who goes flying and accidentally pulls the pin on the grenade he was carrying, killing himself. With the car out of gas, Cody and June are forced to run, with Mark and Luke chasing after them. With only one bullet left in Cody’s gun, June flashes Luke to distract him, and Cody manages to wing him, then grab Luke’s shotgun and shoot Mark in the knee. Catching a ride back to town, Cody heads to Johnathan’s house, where he meets Beverly and her partner and they arrest Liza for Shane’s murder based on the photograph. The next day, Cody arranges for everyone involved to show up at his boat, where they are surprised to see Liza join them. Cody explains that Liza was left handed and the killer was right-handed. Since the killer was female, Cody was able to account for the whereabouts of all the females at the house that night except for Luciana. He went to her house to find some answers and finds a tape that she left him, where she explains that she was a government agent and she killed Shane not only for his blackmailing the Chamberlains, but because he was working for Johnathan, who was selling computers to the Russians. Knowing some of what she told him was confidential, Cody tells the assembled group what he can and they toast the end of the case.
For the type of movie that it is, this actually was pretty entertaining. Part of that might be because it is so over the top and ridiculous. The acting was pretty decent in this movie, with Darby Hinton doing really well in his role as the lead. The story was kind of convoluted, with a lot of different sub-plots but some of them, like the Buffingtons’ continuosly showing up to challenge Cody to a race. Another thing introduced in this movie that becomes a recurring gag in the future movies is that the male hero is a lousy shot that almost never hits anything. It’s one of those stupid movies that tends to be a guilty pleasure for watching.
Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5