Yeh, I don’t honestly remember why I had this movie in my cart. Odds are, there was a trailer for it on another DVD and for whatever reason, it just struck my fancy and I felt like getting it. Of course, my problem now is trying to figure out which movie had this trailer on it. The only other option is that I was browsing on Amazon and this was suggested and, again, it caught my interest. It doesn’t matter much to me as just about any vampire movie is good, provided it doesn’t involve glittery, whiny, emo kids, and a pair of famous criminals fighting a vampire sounds like a fun way to start the day. So let’s see just how good today’s movie, Bonnie And Clyde Vs. Dracula, really is.
The plot: A couple of can artists are driving along the road when they see a farmhouse in the distance and decide to head there to rob the owners. After knocking on the door, a woman answers and doesn’t seem interested but after noticing their car, the woman invites them inside. While the woman goes upstairs to get her husband, the female crook is looking at some pictures on the wall before noticing the woman’s picture in the newspaper underneath the headline about Bonnie and Clyde escaping from prison. She goes to tell her partner but sees that he has his hands up as Clyde is aiming a tommy gun at them. After Bonnie kills the two crooks, Clyde goes upstairs, where they have the home owners tied up, and takes their son with them to guide them down the back roads, letting him go after an hour. Elsewhere, Dr. Loveless, wearing a sack over his head to hide his disformity, is speaking with his assistant Annabel about “the man downstairs” before he punishes her for using his equipment for her own entertainment. Downstairs, a woman is locked in a basement, where a vampire kills her and sucks her blood as Loveless watches. Later, Annabel watches as Loveless disposes of the body. The next day, Bonnie and Clyde, forced to walk when their car breaks down, arrive at a whorehouse run by a farmer named Jake, where they are meeting a friend of Clyde’s named Henry. Henry has a job lined up and says he is working with an old friend of Clyde’s named Horace but when Horace walks in, Clyde shoots him and tells Henry to not ask why he did it. Back at the mansion, the vampire demands to be released from the basement and Loveless agrees but as he gets Annabel to help carry him, the vampire is burned when he touches her skin and he tells Loveless to keep her away from him as he can’t stand her innocence. Sometime later, Loveless has Annabel help him with “the process”, a procedure that filters the wast from his body. While he is passed out from the procedure, Annabel steals the his keys to the shock collar that she wears but when she tries to unlock the collar later, none of the keys work. At the whorehouse, Bonnie is taking a bath and gets into an argument with Clyde as she feels like they have hit rock bottom since she is having to borrow clothes from a whore. The next morning, Henry tells them about a plan to rob some moonshiners and their buyers but while Bonnie and Henry steal the moonshine without a hitch, Jake is shot when he and Clyde rob the buyers. Clyde takes Jake back to his place, where he, along with Bonnie and Henry, try to figure what to do about Jake. Henry recommends they get the doctor that bought all of Jake’s whores and Bonnie agrees to go and get him. At the mansion, Annabel sneaks into a hidden passage, where she overhears Loveless and the vampire, who turns out to be Dracula, discuss killing her. She starts to run but as she gets to the door, Bonnie enters and asks for the doctor. As Bonnie heads upstairs, Annabel starts to leave but a sensor on the shock collar starts to go off and she resigns herself to staying inside. Bonnie enters the study, where she finds Dracula and Loveless sitting and as Loveless leaves to “get his bag”, Dracula ends up draining Bonnie’s blood. Back at Jake’s place, Clyde feels like something is wrong and wants to go get Bonnie. Just then, the cops arrive for their monthly payoff from Jake but when they notice Henry and Clyde going for their guns, one of the cops shoots Henry and in his death spasms, he proceeds to shoot everyone except Clyde. Back at the mansion, Loveless is entertaining some dinner guests that he intends to feed to Dracula when Dracula arrives, accompanied by a newly turned Bonnie, and they proceed to feed on everyone. In her room, Annabel is crying over her fate when she notices a secret key on her brother’s key ring. Using it, she is able to unlock the collar and she begins packing a rucksack so she can leave. Loveless, who happens to be her brother, finds her as she tries to leave and starts beating her with his walking stick but she grabs his leg and manages to trip him up so she can leave the room. Meanwhile, Clyde shows up at the mansion looking for Bonnie and sees Dracula sitting in the dining room surrounded by dead bodies. When Clyde asks where Bonnie is, Dracula causes the bodies to rise, as well as summoning Bonnie and tells them to kill Clyde. Clyde shoots at Dracula, who quickly changes into a bat and flies away. Annabel is trying to leave when she comes across Dracula choking Clyde and, as she makes her way along the wall, the edge of her rucksack catches the curtain and pulls it open, exposing Dracula to the sunlight outside and killing him. As she makes her way down the hall, she finds it full of vampires but she is able to safely make it through them due to her innocence. She makes it outside but hearing her brother yelling for him, she goes to face him one last time. Loveless turns the voltage for the shock collar up to the max setting and prepares to kill Annabel but she warns him not to do it as she leaves. When he presses the button, he ends up shocking himself as Annabel had placed the collar on his ankle when she grabbed his leg earlier. Meanwhile, Clyde faces Bonnie and asks if she is with him or with the other vampires and Bonnie says she is with him as she helps him deal with the others. Using a curtain, Clyde covers Bonnie and helps her outside and into his car so they can leave. Stopping at a barn for rest, Clyde grabs a girl selling apples and brings her to the barn for Bonnie to eat while he smokes outside and worries about what to do next.
This was a very slow movie. The acting was ok for the most part. Jennifer Friend (Annabel) was my absolute favorite character in this movie as her quirky silliness really made things entertaining. The premise was good but the movie was so slow paced. It felt like the first hour was nothing but setup and they tried to cram what little action there was in the movie into the last 30 minutes. There wasn’t much in the way of special effects but there was some editing that did irritate me. In the final confrontation, Clyde drives up to the mansion and it is night time. When he confronts Dracula and shoots at him, he is holding a shotgun and looking around as you hear the sound of a bat flying around. Suddenly the camera cuts to an outside shot of the house, where it is suddenly daylight, and then goes back to inside, where Dracula is now strangling Clyde. I know they were trying to establish that it was daylight outside but any possible fight between Dracula and Clyde was essentially cut out. The movie is called Bonnie & Clyde Vs Dracula….and you don’t even show any sort of fight between them. That was the worst part about this movie. I know some people might like this movie but I don’t know how often I would watch it.
Rating: 2 out of 5