So if I ever decide to make a movie, I think I have figured out how to get people to watch it at least once. Step 1) Make a movie (obviously). Step 2) Give the movie a title that will make people think it is similar to a well known movie. Step 3) Avoid dealing with any possible trademark/copyright lawsuits by having your movie contain absolutely nothing similar to what the title suggests. I might need to tweak that plan some if I actually do try that. However, that is kind of how I felt regarding today’s movie. Straight from the Sci-Fi Classics box set, I give you…..Kong Island.
The plot: Four men are driving a jeep in Africa when they are ambushed by two men attempting to steal the money they are carrying. When the four men are gunned down, Burt questions his partner’s reason and ends up getting shot in the back and left for dead while his partner drives off. Some time later, a scientist by the name of Albert Mulleris experimenting on gorillas by implanting small radio transmitters into their brains in the hopes that he can control the creatures. Meanwhile, Burt has returned to Africa and stops by a bar, owned by his friends Theodore and Ursula, in the hopes that they know where he can find Albert, who happened to be the man that had saved him. As he is leaving the bar, he visits with Diana and Robert, Theodore’s children, and learns that they plan on going to a forbidden part of the jungle to hunt a legendary Sacred Monkey. They invite Burt to come with them but he refuses, having lost his desire to use a gun since being shot. That night, as Burt is dancing with Diana, he sees Turk, an associate of Albert, and follows him in the hopes of having Turk leading him to Albert. However, Turk has some men jump Burt and try to kill him, but Burt is able to fend off the men, with the help of a stranger, and he heads back to Diana. The next morning, Diana and Robert head off to the Kenyan jungle in order to try and hunt the Sacred Monkey. When their party makes camp for the night, a group of gorillas attack the camp, killing or chasing off the workers and kidnapping Diana. When Robert regains consciousness, he sees Turk standing there, who tells Robert to let his father know what happened and that he knows what he needs to do if he wants Diana back alive. When he returns to Nairobi, Robert tells Burt what happened and when Robert mentions seeing Turk, Burt agrees to lead an expedition to try and save Diana. Traveling with Robert and two other men back to the camp site, Burt is unaware that he is being followed by the stranger from the other night. When the stranger is attacked by two gorillas, Burt saves him and learns that the man, Forrester, is from Interpol and he is following Burt in the hopes that he will lead him to Albert, who was Burt’s partner in the robbery. The two men head back to Burt’s camp, where they find Robert severely injured and the other men dead. Robert apologizes to Burt and says that he was leading Burt into a trap, and also saying that his father was working with Albert, but before he can say more, Turk shoots him. Burt and Forrester try to follow Turk but they find themselves captured by natives. Burt and Forrester try to escape but while Burt manages to get away, Forrester is killed by one of the natives. After running for a while, Burt decides to wash off in a nearby river but when he reaches for his shirt, he finds a bunch of fruit have been placed on it. When he starts to eat the fruit, he notices a girl watching him. Burt tries talking to her but the girl doesn’t seem to understand English. Burt is attacked by one of the gorillas but manages to fend it off then decides to find some place to get some sleep. Back in Nairobi, Theodore accuses Ursula of trying to run off with Burt but when she threatens to shoot him, Theodore manages to get the gun away from her and tells her that Burt won’t be a problem anymore. Back in the jungle, Burt manages to grab the mystery girl when he pretended to be asleep and tries to talk to her but since she is unable to talk, he decides to call her Eva. Seeing Diana’s bracelet in the girl’s loincloth, Burt manages to get Eva to show him where Diana is being held. In a cave, Albert explains to Diana how he is able to control the gorillas and threatens to experiment on her if she doesn’t obey him. Eva leads Burt to the cave but Albert, alerted that they were coming, sends Turk to try and capture Burt, but Burt manages to get away while Eva is captured by one of the gorillas. Burt manages to kill Turk but Albert threatens to kill Diana and Eva unless Burt surrenders. Theodore and Ursula show up to rescue Diana and plans on killing Albert for killing Robert, but Ursula reveals that she was planning on leaving with Albert and kills Theodore. Ursula then tries to kill Diana but Eva manages to stop here and, when Ursula is about to kill Eva, Albert kills Ursula. Burt arrives but after he is grabbed by two of Albert’s gorillas, Diana tells him to shoot the electronic brain controlling them. With the gorillas free from Albert’s control, Eva is able to command them to kill Albert while Burt and Diana say goodbye to Eva before heading back to Nairobi.
Ok. With a movie titled Kong Island, I expect to see a giant gorilla and an island but guess what. There is no island. And while there are some gorillas, they are not the giant variety that you expect. As for the movie itself, the acting was ok, although since this was originally an Italian film, the movie was dubbed in English so you would get the occasional mouth’s not matching up to the words being said. The base plot was actually pretty interesting but I honestly felt that all the “love interest/triangle” kind of muddied the waters and took away from the radio controlled gorillas. The gorilla suits looked absolutely horrible and you could not hide the fact that these were men and pretty poor costumes. Then there is Eva, your basic female Tarzan knock-off, although you have to wonder what her name really is since Burt calls her Eve at first but later in the movie, he starts calling her Eva. Seriously, pick a name and stick with it people. Honestly, there isn’t much reason to watch this movie unless you really want to subject yourself to it.
Rating: 1 out of 5