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June 27th, 2015 Movie – The Dinosaur Experiment (a.k.a. Raptor Ranch)

the dinosaur experiment

Have you ever watched a movie and found one of the characters to be so annoying that you wanted to reach through the TV and just strangle them. On rare occasions, the character’s annoyance makes the character more memorable, and actually help with the movie, such as Chris Tucker’s character Ruby Rhod in The Fifth Element. But most of the times, you spend the majority of the movie rooting for these guys to die. With that being said, allow me to introduce you to Sheldon Macabeach, one of the characters in today’s movie, The Dinosaur Experiment, and judge for yourself which type of character he is.

The plot: Abbi Whitecloud is forced to pay off a debt to Billy Wayne by working at his restaraunt/gas station. When her truck breaks down on the way to work, she is given a ride by her neighbor, Dr. Cane, a reclusive scientist that has been doing research on bird DNA. Later that day, Dr. Cane returns and buys out all of the gas at the gas station but when he gets back to his ranch, he winds up having a heart attack. Meanwhile, two FBI agents have been called in to investigate some strange murders that have occurred in the area. That night, while Abby is waiting for Billy Wayne to close the store, two cars pull up; a station wagon containing three college kids (Sheldon, Lucas, and Manbeast) and a tour bus containing Little Willie and his backup singers Kolin and Josie. After Billy Wayne informs the new arrivals that he is out of gas, he leaves and has Abbi lock up the store. When Abbi starts walking back to her truck, Sheldon, Manbeast, and Kolin go with her in the hopes they will be able to borrow some gas from Dr. Cane. When they get to Dr. Cane’s ranch, they find him on the ground and manage to get him inside but he dies before they can get his medicine to him. Manbeast, who was looking around outside, discovers some baby dinosaurs and when he shows them to the others, he accidentally sets them a group of raptors and a pair of megalosaurs free. Manbeast is killed by a blue Megalosaurus named Beth and the rest of the group run into the woods. They make their way to Abbi’s house to discover Billy Wayne is there waiting for Abbi, but a T-rex followed them and burst through the roof of the house and kills Billy Wayne before proceeding to trash the rest of the house in an attempt to get the others. Back at the gas station, Lucas and Josie go off to Willy’s tour bus to have sex while Willie uses the restroom but a group of raptors show up and kill Willie and Josie. When Abbi, Kolin, and Sheldon get there, they find Lucas and get on the tour bus and leave, but the bus ends up breaking down in the middle of town. When the T-rex appears and attacks the bus, Abbi, Kolin, and Lucas manage to get out and make it to a nearby store but Sheldon is trapped on the bus. Sheldon is able to use a piece of remains to distract the T-rex and enable him to make it to the store. but the megalosaurs and raptors show up and the dinosaurs begin fighting each other. By the end of the night, the only dinosaurs left is a raptor, that managed to make it into the store, and Beth, the blue Megalosaurus. Abbi, Kolin, and Sheldon are chased by Beth to an abandoned warehouse, where Beth managed to kill Kolin and Sheldon before Abbi is finally able to use an explosion to kill Beth. In the end, Abbi is able to achieve her dream of becoming a cabaret singer but the surviving raptor is shown just outside of the bar.

Holy crap was I glad when Sheldon died. I was worried that he was going to either be the lone survivor or both he and Abbi survive and they would hook up. Now this was a pretty entertaining movie. The acting was decent with most people playing somewhat stereotypical roles. I do think that Rowdy Arroyo (Manbeast) spent a little too much time studying at the “Keanu Reeves School of Acting.” But Little Willie was really funny and I was actually a little sad they didn’t let his character stick around longer. The story was about as good as any blatant Jurassic Park rip off is going to be although I did think the FBI plot line was really completely unnecessary. It just seemed to be there to take up time. The dinosaurs were actually pretty decent. I’m not saying they were Spielberg style dinosaurs but they were a step up from some other B-movies, like Carnosaur. So if you are bored and in the mood for a decent sci-fi movie, give this a shot and root for the dinosaurs as they try to kill Sheldon.

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5

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