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September 28th, 2014 Movie: Abraxas: Guardian Of The Universe

abraxas, guardian of the universe

Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Most people know him as the former wrestler and ring announcer in WWF/E and WCW. He is also known for being the former governor of Minnesota. And of course, he is also known for his acting. Beginning with his role in Predator, Ventura would have numerous roles and bit parts in movies and TV series. Today’s movie, Abraxas: Guardian Of The Universe, is his first attempt at a starring role.

The plot: Abraxas is a Finder, a type of intergalactic police officer, who is tasked with bringing in his former partner, a renegade partner named Secundus. Secundus had traveled to Earth and managed to impregnate a girl before Abraxas manages to capture him. 5 years later, Secundus escapes from his prison and returns to Earth to find the girl in the hopes that her offspring will provide the answer for the Anti-Life Equation. Abraxas follows him to Earth so he can stop Secundus and save the girl and her child.

Ok, I am pretty sure this movie is a candidate for mocking on Rifftrax. Oh look, it is. This movie is terrible. The dialogue sounds very forced and unnatural throughout the entire movie. Jesse Ventura’s character is boring, the only real emotion he seemed to show was when he was arguing with his Answer Box. The bad guy, Secundus, acts like a poor man’s Terminator only without the credibility. The scene where Ventura tries to bond with the kid is kind of creepy. There honestly aren’t many redeeming qualities to this movie. One other thing I found annoying was the almost blatant rip off of plot ideas from DC Comics. Answer Box. Anti-Life Equation.. These are both themes prevalent among the comics featuring Darkseid and New Genesis, which came out some 20 years before this movie did. Maybe that’s why I didn’t like this movie. Because they took a good idea from a comic book and turned it into crap.

So if you want to watch a bland sci-fi movie just to kill some time, you could watch this. But I would go find something better.

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5

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