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August 29th, 2014 Movie – Dark Waters

20140827_221208Good morning people. Sharktoplushie here. I am filling in for Joey with today’s blog as he is busy being attacked by some small children. It works out because today’s movie happens to involve some of my family. Today’s movie is called Dark Waters. It is a nice movie about some of my cousins trying their best to eat Lorenzo Lamas,

The plot: A deep sea oil rig is attacked by a pack of sharks that move in unison in order to destroy it. Dane Quatrell, a former marine biologist and current con artist, is kidnapped and offered a chance to have his record cleared if he goes on a mission to find out what happened to the rig. Once down there, he finds out that the pack of sharks is actually part of a military experiment to turn sharks into controlled weapons of destruction. But that is not the only discovery Quatrell makes as he tries to get his crew to safety, while dodging both the military and the killer sharks.

You know, my family really gets a bad rep. I mean, we have been around for millions of years. All we want to do is swim around in the oceans, eat some food, and make baby sharks. Sure, some of us might snack on a human or two, but you die more often in car crashes than from shark attacks. I don’t see you hunting down and killing every car on the road. But if one of us takes a bite out of you humans, and it is mass genocide as you try to hunt all of us down. And don’t get me started on you idiots killing us just to use our fins for soup. You people deserve to be eaten just for that.

Now from my point of view, this was a good movie for us sharks, although I am sure you humans will hate it. You humans had the bright idea to make a group of great white sharks, one of the most perfect predators on the planet, even more dangerous. I mean they got to take out a sub and an oil rig. They got to snack on some marines. And they almost managed to eat Lorenzo Lamas. How cool would that have been. Now I know you humans will complain about how silly the plot was or how stupid the effects look. But we are sharks. We don’t care about stuff like that. We are just interested in what is tasty. And those marines did hit the spot.

So if you would like to watch some sharks killing marines on a sub, then watch my family in action.

Rating: 2 out of 5

dark waters

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